ok this kid i really really like....he's is not the same color as me but my mom and family dont like the idea of daten the opposite race but he is the sweetest thing ever and i love him to death... i want to be with him so bad but i dont want my family to turn on me and i dont want anyone to think differently... but i dont see why or how its bad... i would like to know what to do in this case... i dont want to lose him though...he is like my life..
2007-01-24 13:29:56 · 15 answers · asked by faith 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
what is the "opposite" race?
2007-01-24 13:37:08 · answer #1 · answered by biscuit head 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, by definition, if people start making noises about "not believing in mixing of races" or "not approving of dating other races", they're racist. People can sugarcoat it by justifying it with Bible verses or whatever they please, but that's what it boils down to.
By the way - I'm not trying to imply that your parents are bad people. This is unfortunately a pretty common attitude on both sides of the fence. And of course, very few people come out and say "I'm racist". Nobody wants to believe they're doing or thinking things that are bad. They'll say things like "I'm not racist but ..."
There's nothing wrong with your dating somebody who's another color, another religion, or whatever. However, as you've pointed out, you may get crap from your family.
As far as what to do, it depends on how much you can stand openly being in conflict with your family, how financially dependent you are on them, and how long it will be before you're out on your own.
If you only have a year to go and you're off to college, go tell Romeo that you really like him and that you hope he'll wait for you until you're out of your parents' house. Otherwise, since I can't advocate sneaking around (it's too risky, not to mention dishonest), you might want to consider having a frank chat with your parents. Be prepared to get grounded or forbidden to see this guy or whatever, though. You might want to tell him beforehand so that if you're suddenly not able to talk to him, he'll know that it's not because you hate him.
Good luck!
2007-01-24 22:12:58 · answer #2 · answered by IrritableMom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should invite him over for lunch or dinner. Think "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" Basically it will make your family come to terms with him. Since they sound like genuinely good people, more than likely they will be civil with him and it will give them the opportunity to get to know him as a person. I wouldn't even ask them if he could come over, I would invite him first and then tell them "Oh by the way, so and so is coming for dinner." This will basically force them to face him. If he is a good guy, they will realize it and it may soften them to the idea of you dating him. If he is a loser then don't even try this because it will just validate in their minds why you shouldn't date interracially.
I had to do something to this effect when I was a teenager. I always dated outside of my race and my dad didn't have a problem with me dating white guys but he forbid me to date Hispanic guys. I had to force him to meet my Hispanic boyfriend and he was cordial and eventually allowed us to date after meeting him and actually liking him. Right now my boyfriend of 6 years is Hispanic and my dad adores him. We also have children together and my dad dotes on them. Sometimes it takes a little exposure to dissolve some people's stereotypes but you can work it out. Follow your heart.
Edit:
I don't believe that not approving of interracial relationships necessarily makes you a racist. My dad is not racist he just did not understand Latin culture. Never being around Hispanic people before, he had ideas of how Hispanic men were. He had to be exposed to the culture in order for those stereotypes to be dispelled. It is ignorance not racism.
2007-01-24 22:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by Roni 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok you may not be a racist,but if you think that your friends and family are not then you are wrong. If your family really loves and care about you then they should except your decision,love has no color. don't pass up your true happeness on what others think,even family.
2007-01-24 22:17:39 · answer #4 · answered by everettintpa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your parents are not racist I would be interested to know exactly what they are then.
If you actually think your family would turn on you for dating someone of a different colour, then your little world is in for a very nasty shock.
2007-01-24 21:39:46 · answer #5 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If what you say about you not being racist it should not matter i mean are gonna marry him right of the bat? i say you go for it if its what you really want and if your parent love you as much as they do they wont turn on you that easily.
2007-01-24 21:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by elizacandle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? 13? 14? Get over it. You have no idea what love is yet. And that has nothing at all to do with race.
2007-01-24 21:38:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Newsflash: if your family has a problem with interracial dating, they ARE still racist. We could sit here and debate "how racist", but it ultimately doesn't matter. If this kid's into you, I say go for it. And if your family doesn't think they're racist, you might point out for them how very wrong they are.
2007-01-25 00:20:25 · answer #8 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then your family IS racist. You sound young. You'll get over him. Date interracially when you're older and out of the house.
2007-01-24 21:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some familys just believe that you should not cross breed. it doesn't mean they don't like other races. but you can have your own opinion too. so I say you should go out with him. they'll come around.
2007-01-24 21:52:24 · answer #10 · answered by jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, "not being racists" and "having trouble with dating another race" do not correspond together. it's one or the other.
2007-01-24 21:39:10 · answer #11 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋