how do you stop the jealousy?

Question

I don't know how to stop my jealousy. My friend and I have become closer as time goes on but lately I notice that she and this other girl at work laugh and talk a lot. This morning she tells me that she called her earlier to remind her something. It really bothered me, and during break a few of the co-workers and her and the other girl went into the breakroom together. This really bothers me. I know I can't control her and I don't want to. but i feel like I'm not interesting anymore and she's starting to like others instead. Even though she still asks me out for lunch or going other places. We still email each other all the time and talk. but it's no longer playful flirting, it's more serious talking like we don't have to try anymore to impress. Are we getting closer or is she losing interest? How do I stop the jealousy? when I see her on the phone or talking with someone else, i get so jealous it drives me crazy. Help! I don't want to ruin this friendship. (yes I'm attracted to her).

Answer 1

Jealousy is just an expression of insecurity. First and foremost you need to examine your feelings as they occur. Talk with your friend about it when you're not in the throes of a full jealousy outbreak. You've made the most important step and realized it's a problem in you and not others.

Look up some sites on polyamory. Jealousy is a big issue with polyamorous people, so they tend to write about how to deal with it. There are a number of good articles and resources on this.

I've listed a site that has a lot of good articles, some of them are about dealing with jealousy. If you can't find any good articles about dealing with jealousy, email me and I'll see if I can send you more.

Answer 2

Jealously ain't easy to stop since even when a person not even know that until he or she actually feel it. Could be both getting closer and could be losing interest. I am not that good of explaining because I was married to a guy who was very jealous when I was talking to anyone and try to get me pay attention only for him and tell me what to do (with relationship and etc) now I am separated from him and seekin' for divorce for good and move on. Hopeful someone else could have better explanation or advice of what to do.

Take care
Peace

Answer 3

Wait, is this the same friend with "Ethiopia"?
If so, what you're going through is perfectly normal.
Jealousy can empower or wane a relationship, so be on your toes. That girl has no business at all with your one (girl).
Distance makes the heart grow fonder.