Am i being a good person? or just selfish?

Question

my fiance is hispanic and his family speaks both sapnish and english...but they feel more comfortable speaking spanish...i on the other hand am 100% white and speak only english and little french(schooling)... about 2 months ago i agreed to learn spanish...i started learning but i just can't get myself motivated... when i am trying to learn i find my self thinking that i should not have to learn spanish because we live in america and his family should speak english to me (even if they are not totally comfortable) ...this is my country why should i have to learn another language to communicate with them...when they are the ones who came here...if i were to go to mexico i would be expected to speak spanish...why not keep the same standards for my country... thus, i have not learned mucc spanish.... am i just being stubborn? what should i do?

Answer 1

You should definitely try your best to learn Spanish if you plan on marrying this man. This is his family, and it would be of benefit not only to them, but to you. That way, even when they talk to each other in your presence, you can still understand what they're saying. However, they should definitely continue to broaden their English skills also.

You didn't say where you lived, but so much of the country anymore has Spanish speaking people, that those people who are able to speak both languages have a much better chance of getting certain jobs, etc.

I took some Spanish in college, but I never got really proficient with it, and I understand it's difficult to learn when you didn't start learning it as a child. I only really learned un poco, but I wish I had kept after it and learned more.

Really, it can't be anything but good for you to keep pursuing it.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I both agree and disagree with you. On the one hand: yes. People who live in a country where english is the official language should learn to communicate in english.

On the other hand: these are not "just people". This is your fiance's family. Your speaking spanish to them is not really a necessity, but a way to show that their family and culture is important to you. Just as if you moved to Mexico, they would expect you to speak spanish most of the time, but would probably learn some english to show you that you are imortant to them.

Quite frankly, I think you should be thrilled at the prospect that your children will be completely bilingual!! What a bonus for them!

Answer 3

Yes, youre thinking is absolutely correct and i agree with you.But you have to see that maybe the family only speaks in spanish within their household, cuz they also have a right to speak whichever language they want in their house, but outside, it should be english. Now as you enter their household, you have to accept what the environment is in there. Im only speaking from personal experience, as i also speak another language besides english!

Answer 4

you're bein stubborn, girl. I would learn at least some of the language to carry on a basic conversation with his family. You need to lighten up, chika! Take spanish. Learn the language!=)

Answer 5

i think you're being a little stubborn. i can certainly understand your frustration but look at it this way: you would hate to have a misunderstanding between you and his family simply because of their inability to speak english really well and your inability to speak spanish. if you talk to your fiancee and explain that you are willing to learn spanish if they make some effort to speak english then everything should work out. that way if they are speaking english but having trouble expressing themselves they can fall back to spanish and if you are speaking spanish and having trouble you can fall back to english.

Answer 6

tangent of conversation, with all this low motivation, would you, should you look into your relationship, with who you are involved, is this some subconscious feeling telling you that your partner is not for you, in the relationship down the road a month a year, a decade will there be that same low or no motivation, i do not want to use the words warning here, but i would go slow and proceed with caution, is this person the right one for you,

Answer 7

You don't have to scratch too hard to open up the wound, right?
You're l00% white??? What color are Mexicans? I see Mexicans as white too.

Obviously, you should rethink the marriage. One usually speaks the language of the home IN the home. If you lived in Mexico, you'd speak English at home too.

Eventually, everyone would be miserable if you marry him.

Answer 8

I agree with you. You aren't being selfish. Besides, you can eventually learn Spanish just by observing and mingling with your fiance and his family. You'll pick up on it.

You're right.

Answer 9

honey, i'm Spainsh, half Dominican and half Puerto Rican and I DON'T EVEN LIKE the language. my family is always harassing me to learn, but i can't. I don't feel motivated either. I like Latin. I, too, feel that if you come to america, you should learn english, just like if I went to another country. they need to learn. encourage them.

Answer 10

Hey as long as they speak english u should have no problems