English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

hi....

well i am a bit confused about my sexual orientation if you guys out there can help....

well i am a regular guy... just lately i think that i am gay, i like hanging out with boys and i love the company of my best friend Thomas.... i don't know what is happening to me.... i am so confused...

if i am gay then how will my parents and community react towards this... will i be a shame to the family name...

i don't know what to do... plz suggest/comment...

thanks

2007-01-24 11:55:46 · 77 answers · asked by SANDY 1 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

77 answers

resist these urges
find a nice girl and settle down with her
homosexuality is evil

2007-01-24 11:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by biscuit head 3 · 17 28

Maybe you're gay, maybe you're not. What's the big deal? Don't sweat it.

Meanwhile, go to the library and read up on gay relationships. Yes, some backward families and communities have been horrible, the way they've treated gay guys. But really, that's ancient history. If your family and community are truly down on gays, well, you may have to decide whether you want to be part of that obsolete world.

As for how to act with Thomas, hey, a best friend is a best friend no matter what. So figure out a good way to introduce the subject with him -- something like, "What do you think about the way our community treats gays?", for example. You'll know by his answer whether to take it any further.

And this is important: even if you decide to try gay, but he's not interested, then he can still be your best friend. That's how the real world works.

2007-01-24 12:18:34 · answer #2 · answered by will_o_the_west 5 · 2 1

You have to be real and true to yourself first. If you are having sexual fantasies about other boys, then you may very well be gay. There is nothing wrong with that. However, you have to be comfortable with this reality and recognize that not everyone is going to accept this. It is too early in the game to come out of the closet. Explore your feelings first to see if this is what you are truly feeling. The last thing you want to do is come out and say you are gay when youare not even positive about it. Before you even go and tell your parents, once you do find out that you believe you are gay, go seek counseling. Go to your guidance counselor at school and ask if there is a therapist that you can talk to for free or you can pay a sliding scale fee (therapist will accept a small fee from you and the rest will be taking care of with insurance). You have to make sure that you will be o.k. with the outcome and can deal with what ever happens when you do come out and talk to your parents. You always need to prepare yourself. At this point, I don't think that it would be wise to tell them unless you know for sure and seek some counseling on how to deal with the issues you will be facing. I wish you luck.

2007-01-24 12:08:26 · answer #3 · answered by Weasel Girl 3 · 2 0

OK, first of all don't listen to all the negative comments on here. They DON'T know what they're talking about and they won't help you feel better about yourself!

Sexuality is a continuum and you don't need to label yourself and neither should you let anyone else. If you feel an attraction toward someone and it's mutual, then you have every right to explore those feelings - regardless of whether those feelings are for someone of the same s*x, or the opposite.

Your feelings of confusion come from society telling you that your feelings are wrong. But if you're not hurting anyone and you're both feeling the same things, how can they be wrong?

People are so afraid of not only s*x, but of homosexuality and that's sad. They are denying their humanity when they hide who they are out of shame. And for what?

I know its not easy to accept your sexuality, whether you're bisexual or gay, but you will be hurting yourself if you ignore and deny who you are. And in the end, who are other people to judge you?? Especially the ones on here. They don't even know you!!

If you're young (as I suspect you are) take your time and let things unfold naturally, and whatever happens, you ARE normal. Your feelings ARE valid and you have every right to be happy!!

Best of luck!

2007-01-25 01:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by Turtleshell 3 · 2 0

lol ... you don't turn into "a" gay. You are born that way and there is nothing you can do to stop it. It's who you are and you should be happy with that. When I was 18 years old, I dated this girl for 8 months, she was going to be the girl to turn me str8 again. Until I realised that I wasn't happy and that my true feelings went towards men. Everything is good now, I am in a comited relationship and I couldn't be happier. Now as for your family and friends and the community that you live in, it's all up in the air. Everyone has a different coming out story. Some are very lucky and some are not. I was fortunate when I came out, I lost no friends and my family still loves me. My mom was a little shocked by it but after a year or so to cope with it, she came around and everything is good. You don't have to tell anyone right away. You take the time to realise and understand who u are. There are some really good places you can chat to other men in your situation or even gay men who have been out for a long while. That would be www.gay.com check it out.
Also you might come across ppl who like to gay bash us, DONT LISTEN TO THEM. They are just ignorant people who don't have enough education to understand who we are. I hope all this helps. If you want to talk more, you can find me in gay.com in the Hamilton, Ontario chat room in Canada. Hope everything works out.

Peace!!

2007-01-24 12:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5 1

There is not one single person in the world who is 100% straight. Everyone, even you guys who say it is "evil" and nonsense like that, has at one point in their life questioned his or her sexuality. Some of us question it harder, and for a longer period of time. Most people eventually figure out that they are infact straight, maybe just had an infatuation with another person of the same gender. Maybe this person is someone you admire or envy, and that is why you want to be around him. If he gives you wood, then I would start wondering. (I'm not trying to be funny either). If you decide you are more gay than straight, or even bisexual, there is no rule that you have to tell anyone right away. When you are comfortable with it, you won't care what they think. Especially if you fall in love. Approach the subject with your loved ones in a way that they won't supsect it is you, just so you can get a vibe on how they would react. There are worse thing to be than gay. For instance, you could be a hypocrite, or a judgemental fanatic, or homophobic. Also, if you are gay, there is no way to stop yourself. It's just how you were created, and the creator, who ever that is would not make something He didnt intend to love forever.

2007-01-24 12:10:17 · answer #6 · answered by Heather m 2 · 2 1

My first question is that you say that you enjoy spending time with boys and you enjoy your best friend's company. Well, are you attracted to them? If you are, don't be afraid of the fact that you're having these feelings. IT IS OKAY. If you feel like this, indulge the possibility that maybe you are gay. It may take some time to figure it out. The only way you'll know is if these feelings of attraction don't go away. If you find that you are gay, then know that there is nothing wrong with it. You'll still be you, only now you know something about yourself that you didn't before. Self-acceptance takes time and it takes work, but eventually, you'll get there. You can't control who you are attracted to, and to fight that would only make you miserable and it will make meaningful relationships impossible, escpecially in a sexual context. When to come out, even whether or not you come out, if you are gay, will be your choice. If your family loves you, they will accept you, as will your friends. You might want to find out how they feel about homosexuality before you tell them, to get an idea of how they might react. The first person you come out to should be someone you feel comfortable telling.

The best advice I can give you is to talk to someone who has been through this about their experience, because you are going through something that literally millions of people go through.

Also, you could be bisexual. Whatever you are, and whenever you figure it out, good luck to you and I hope you find a way to be happy with the person you are, rather than trying to be something you're not.

2007-01-24 12:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by ~*Bubbles*~ 3 · 2 1

I don't know if you are gay or not but if you are then you shouldn't be ashame of your sexual preference and if your family really wants the best for you and they love you as much as they say they do then they won't criticize you and they would accept you the way you are. So don't feel embarrass. Oh and don't listen to other people who discriminate homosexuals because they are all ignorant. I m telling you this not because I m gay but because I have lots of boy friends who are gay and a causin who is gay as well and it gets me really angry when people say stupid things about the gay community.

2007-01-24 12:18:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Enjoying the company of your best friend is not gay, it's great and you should enjoy it.
If you feel sexual feeling towards him, that's different, especially if these feelings are stronger than what you have ever experienced toward a girl with whom you also feel comfortable.
Either way, you don't need to fight those feelings, and certainly not panic!!!
You may be gay, straight, or bisexual, but you must be yourself and accept whom you are. Trying to fake being what you're not (for example, marrying a nice girl because you think that that is what is expected of you by your family, your religion, or your friends, would only lead to disaster, even if you are straight, but especially if you are gay!!!
Don't do anything drastic until you know for sure who you are and who you love. You'll know someday.

2007-01-24 12:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by newcalalily 3 · 2 1

Because you enjoy the company of your friends does not mean you are gay I also enjoy the company of my friends and I am not gay. If you have thoughts of the sexual nature towards the same sex then maybe you are gay, but that may also make you bi curious. Either way you are you and everyone should accept you the way you are, Just do you don't worry about how everyone else will feel. In the end you need to worry about you and how you are feeling.

2007-01-24 12:06:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3 1

You may be constructing homosexuality now. Thinking it can lead to an innoscent fantasy, maybee expermentation. Homosexuality is constructed(hetrosexuality is too)
The Formula For Constucting A Homosexual
This formula can be illustrated in this way:


A Predisposition
Toward Homosexuality (this can be an innoscent thought even)

Plus

That First
Homosexual Experience

Multiplied By

Pleasurable and Positive
Homosexual Thoughts

To Which Is Added

More Homosexual
Experiences

Multiplied By

More Pleasurable
Thoughts

---------------------------

A Homosexual

2007-01-28 00:49:55 · answer #11 · answered by ishelp4 3 · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers