how can i get it through to him? i've tried a few times but it ends up in rows and stuff.
tonight we had a really bad fight and i feel awful. it was over this guy and he found out i was seeing him and he went crazy! i feel really bad cause i said some pretty mean stuff but this is going to continue if he doesn't realize i'm not 6 anymore.
my mom died when i was 5 so i think it sort of frightens him that some day i'm going to be leaving him and he won't have anyone. though i'd never leave him. i'll always love him. so, i understand why he does this but i don't know what to say without it ending up with rows.
2007-01-24 11:54:57 · 6 answers · asked by Sarah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have the same problem, and I'm 47 years old. Parents are like that sometimes.
I think you are showing a lot of insight into his motivation, but I think you need to be patient with him, instead of using that insight to attack him.
Look at what he has to deal with. He doesn't want you to screw up your life by getting pregnant before you're ready, or by getting stuck with a man who doesn't treat you properly.
It is also perfectly normal for any good father to feel like murdering the first man who shows an interest in taking his little girl away from him. Hopefully, he will eventually learn to turn loose, and look forward to grandchildren. These are things that any decent father is going to have to struggle with.
In addition, there is the matter of his wife dying. I wonder if, in some respects, you have taken her place. That is not a healthy situation. When it is expressed physically, it is called incest. Even if it isn't going that far, parents should not be turning to their children for emotional support.
You do need to distance yourself from your father. That is just part of growing up. That doesn't mean sneaking around behind his back. I can't really tell you how to do it. I don't know you, I don't know him, and you are 16 years old. It's hard.
If your father isn't dating, he should be. Hopefully, he will remarry at some point. I do hope you aren't interfering with that. He is likely to be a better father, when he is getting what he needs, and he can't get it from you.
2007-01-24 13:14:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult time for you both. He will always think of you as his little girl, no matter how old you get, and you will be very glad of this later in life. For the moment, though, he is struggling to balance protecting you with letting you make your own decisions. You need to be more open with him about your relationships. Ask his advice about boys. If he knows you are being honest with him and he can trust you to keep your word, he will learn to accept that you are becoming an adult.
2007-01-24 20:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just should sit down and talk to him tell him dad iam growing up im becaming a lady now one day you have to let me go im old enof to take care of my salve
2007-01-24 20:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by cupcake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show it to him..... dont throw a fit that he dosent see it. prove it to him. also tell him you love him but he needs to accept that fact. it my be hard and his feelings might get hurt in the process but it might help....
2007-01-24 20:03:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sees you as a child and guess what. at 16 you still are.
2007-01-25 00:08:22 · answer #5 · answered by dirtyoldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait for him to get over it, cuz he will,sooner or later.
just wait.that's what i did.
2007-01-24 20:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by Ruthie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋