Best way to combat a verbal attack?

Question

Recently an acquaintance of mine verbally attacked me for no good reason. He doesn't really know me but said hurtful and mean things about my appearance. I tried to brush it off and I did stick up for myself but I wish I would have defended myself better. I am a sensitive woman, as most are, and it really hurt my feelings. I want to get over it without carrying around alot of anger. I also do not want to reconcile with this person, in my opinion he is worthless and if he doesn't even know me and is going to be vicious then I don't wanna know him at all. i hate him actually. My question is what is the best way to fend off a verbal attacker/abuser and how can I forget this abuse?

THANKS FOR ALL THE KIND PEOPLE THAT HAVE COMFORTED ME----- GOD BLESS YOU ALL. :)

Answer 1

Shame on him!!
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know it hurt a lot.

My mother gave me some great advice about how to deal with mean people.
Put your hands on your hips, look straight at them and say, "Why are you being rude?"

I guarantee it'll catch them by surprise and then they'll have to try to validate their behavior, knowing that there is no validation for it.

If you live in the south you can say, "Now I know that your mama did not raise you to be so rude. Shame on you."

You can never win a verbal go around with people like him. Just let him know it's not okay and move on.

Best wishes!

Answer 2

I had this happen one time at work. What sucked was that it wasn't even a coworker, it was a coworker's WIFE.
He was freaking because I was his boss and could have made his life miserable. That isn't something I would do, but it was pretty damned hurtful.

Fast forward a few months later, when I weighed less than this woman's husband. Much less. Very strict exercise program.

I hadn't spoken to the woman at all since she was a bit-h that day. She decided to break the silence and say how I was a "new man."

"No, I'm the same man I was before. I didn't ask for your opinion when my weight was high and I don't recall asking for it now. If you'd like to continue this discussion and you think you can live through it, I'm about to go run a 5K. No? Bye."

Here's the real lesson, though. Validation comes from within. If you didn't see a chunk of truth in what was said, it wouldn't hurt. You'd just wonder what planet this butthead was on.

He can't hurt you without your permission.

Answer 3

You did the right thing. When you verbally attack someone back, it only makes matters worse. I have to deal with things like this at my job. I'm a supervisor and people rant and rave all the time. Just take a deep breath and tell the person if you are going to yell, I just won't talk to you. Easier said than done, I know. I would just like to smack the crap out of some people, but you have to be bigger than that. I'm sensitive as well. I dwell over it, but after a while, I just say to myself. I don't have to go home with these folks and they don't sign my paycheck. Your the bigger person for not engaging in such nonsense.

Answer 4

Well, you have to look your best. In every insult, there might be an ounce of truth to it. I do not know what you were wearing, but perhaps in his own jaded way, it was his sarcastic way of expressing to you that you look better.

I realize that this may not be the case. But next time someone insults you unfairly, try to be open-minded and optimistic about the insult.

It's ok to be sensitive. Just cry off those feelings in private and when you've calmed a bit, look back it objectively and learn from the incident.

Don't try to think of something mean to say back at them. If you do that, you will eventually one day be so good at retorting that you may accidently insult someone who you misunderstood who was really complimenting you.

Besides, you don't want to turn into an insensitive person like the one who got on your nerves right? Take the high road and treat people the way you prefer to be treated.

Answer 5

Matthew Chapter 5:
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'[g] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor[h] and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies[i] and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Answer 6

A simple, "No...tell me how you really feel!"
or maybe,
"Ding-Ding-Ding! We have a winner for the rudest person of the day award!" might make you feel better, but walking away and never having contact with this person will probably be just as effective.
You'll look classier in the long run too;)

Answer 7

When one realizes we are not these bodies, IE; Race, color, nationality, religion, intellect, job, etc. and Realizes we are eternal spirit souls, part and parcel of the Supreme Soul, also known as Krishna, Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, etc., then they are unaffected by the so called criticism of others. besides they are only speaking from their opinion which is also based on bodily conception so you are both in illusion. The best way to transcend the bodily platform of life and become unaffected by mundane criticism and become free is to chant the Maha Mantra (the great Mantra for deliverance from suffering and illusion) go to harekrishnatemple.c for details Read Bhagavad Gita As it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada which brings one to the highest understanding of self which frees one from the bondage of others criticism.

Answer 8

Like some of us, youre a dweller. Its ok to think about it, and play it through in your head and change things. You cant change what happened though so you'll just have to try to let it go. This will happen with time and it'll get easier. I'm sorry he hurt you. Some people are just really unbelievable.

Answer 9

I've always believed that the best revenge was indifference.

I know it's tempting to dig your claws right back, but all it does is put you down to their level. Revenge is petty. Karma will serve them far better than you ever could.

Answer 10

Act like he doesn't exist.
And consider the source of the abuse. He is nothing but a stupid asshole and his opinion of you doesn't count. Only yours does.