My exgirlfriend is 19 and i am 36.
We had been going out for 2 years and on 3rd January, we split up largely because of accusing her of having affairs twice when she hadnt.
We were together last night and when sitting on the sofa i said to her 'i wanted you to be next to me in bed and see the sun shine through your hair' she started to cry.
We made love during the night and this morning she said that she was going to go clubbing valentines but not now and the only day shes interested to have as holiday is my birthday.
Speaking tonite to her she said she still loves me and she misses her boyfriend (me) sorely but says the physical aspect hurts her because she feels it was always special but we arent what we were and just doesnt feel the same and wish she could lose the physical attraction.
She feels weve become sex buddies and thinks we owe each other to be more than that.
She feels she has to break free of coupley things because shes finding it hard enough not being with me
Help
2007-01-24 11:45:50 · 10 answers · asked by John 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry, but this is caged bird syndrome. You want to keep this young girl under lock and key, while she needs to fly free. You're always going to be insecure over this relationship, why is this young lovely with you, this nigh on middle aged man? So just to be safe, you don't want her out there, which is unfair, because shes a teenager, and she only wants to do what you did when you were a teenager.
With your experience, you are always going to be able to say the right thing and melt her resolve, and it sounds like today, she's regretting sleeping with you.
You're a generation apart, and it's not fair to stop her from being a kid, and also making her feel bad for being so.
I can't see it working, because I can't see you wanting to do the things she wants to do, and even if you could be comfortable with her going out, is it right that it's something she can't really do with her boyfriend?
2007-01-24 12:13:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You were twice her age when you started going out, but were insecure enough in the relationship to falsely accuse her of having affairs. I think you'll have to admit that this relationship is over, dragging it out with just sex and the vain hope of a reconciliation will just make things harder for you. Try to find someone who is closer to your own age - she's still at the 'young, free and single' stage of life, and if you're not secure in yourself it's always going to be tough coping in a relationship with someone who is going out with friends, clubbing, etc.
2007-01-24 11:58:08 · answer #2 · answered by Fences and windows 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is best to walk away, best to let go of a bad situation and move on. In this case she's telling you in subtle ways that the thrill is gone and she is being quite tactful but you don't seem to be getting the hint. If you respect her, let alone love her, then let her go and find someone who isn't confused or reluctant to share their love with you. In the long run you'll both be happier...
2007-01-24 12:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by ralegas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should respect what she is telling you and give her some space to assess what she truly wants. it sounds like where you accused her of cheating has hurt her deeply so she needs to think things through and over time she might just realise its you she wants or not at all but you need to get on with your own life if she decides she doesnt want you.if you do love this girl you will respect whatever decision she makes
2007-01-24 11:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by kerry w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there, done that, I'm 49 now and my ex-lover is now 32. so this corresponds to your relative ages. We met 10 years ago, and although we are no longer together, we are good friends. I think that's what you should hope you can have!
2007-01-24 12:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by STEVE SANDO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would move on. You 2 are at different stages in you lives and you could find someone closer to your age
2007-01-24 11:54:14 · answer #6 · answered by earth_angel_589 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try a separation to let her find out what she feels for you.I hope it works out for you both.Good Luck
2007-01-27 03:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be grateful; that you have a lady. that's younger than yourself.just take each day as it comes.
2007-01-24 13:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well.....you are 36 so why not tell her how you feel!!!!
2007-01-24 11:57:13 · answer #9 · answered by halbeast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋