How To Get Over Childhood Bullying?

Question

When i was in middle school, i was picked on really bad and it seems like even 8 years after i left middle school and people stopped picking on me, i still have a lot of social fear. I always feel like people are judging me, even though i know they aren't, so i often avoid socializing with people because i don't want to be picked on(probably rejected too).

How can i get over this?

Answer 1

I think you really need to do something to increase your self-esteem and decrease your sense of vulnerability. Maybe start working out and taking some self defense classes or martial arts. People are going to try to test you all of your life, unless you live under a rock. If you are able to stand up to their picking, it won't bother you as bad and they'll quit as soon as they realize that you're not easy prey. You might actually feel pretty good about it. Just don't turn into a bully yourself. Nobody should have to feel victimized.

Answer 2

Make a list of all your good qualities. Read them every day.

Remember that the ones who had the problem were the bullies, NOT YOU! You didn't knock the kahoots out of them when they bullied you, which is what another bully would have done.

YOU are the better person. Keep reminding yourself of that.

People are not judging you. They don't have time to judge everyone. People are too busy these days to bother about anyone else. These days, lots of people are so self-centered, so if you think someone is staring at you, it's just an accident that they're making eye contact. They're probably just wondering what others are thinking of THEM!

Bullies make people feel bad so they can feel better about themselves.

YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON. Keep telling yourself that.


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Answer 3

It is common to feel that way- self concious, nervous, and a little social phobia. But one thing that helps is how you talk to yourself! Those broken records are playing in your mind over and over- even when you do not realize it. Change your vocabulary to change yourself. Words are VERY powerful. Reprogram your internal talk. Start giving yourself credit for every good thing you do- even for the effort of trying. Catch yourself each time you notic you are thinking negetive or putting yourself down. And replace insecure thoughts with secure thoughts. If you say something awkward- tell yourself it's okay everyone does it. And tell yourself it's ok to be little shy - everyone feels that way inside sometimes. You actually have to become a little selfish and build up your broken down self esteem. Start doing things you want to do- take care of yourself, try and move out of your comfort zone and overcome fear. Its easier said than done, but the more you repeat affirmations and be around positive people- the better you will feel. Also, look into some info on the law of attraction- remember when you think negetively - you will attract negetive into your life. If you think positively about yourself and others, you will attract more positive- it really works. Also, get yourself some audio books and listen to them while driving etc. They will help! Good luck!

Answer 4

As hard as it may seem, you have to leave the past in the past. Those bullies from middle school are not losing sleep over you, so for your own self esteem, you need to remember that you have to live your life for YOU. Also, try to reinvent yourself. Start with simple things like saying yes to invitations you would usually turn down. Say hello first in passing. Wear something different. Meet people on line. Life is too short to be worrying about what others think of you. Good luck.

Answer 5

I quit worrying about bullies when I started carrying a Glock 10mm. Where I live there are lions and coyotes and bears, so if knowing about all that makes human bullies somewhat of a joke.
You should also get over being a leftist because that is making you afraid of the truth and this is a huge part of why you are hesitant to socialize.

Answer 6

Faith and Fear are opposites. The stronger the one, the weaker the other. So have faith in your ability to deal with situations that used to disturb you. You're not in middle school any more. You are older and wiser, and people in general have mellowed out. These are the best years of your life and you are missing out on meeting your special other and having a good time. So put the past behind you and enjoy your youth before it slips away.

Answer 7

I like you have an intense fear of rejection. It is so intense that it affects most of the choices I make. It controls me. I was bullied in grammar school more than jr high or high school. I have the most vial and sadistic fantisies about getting revenge. I feel my blood pressure rising when I think of this. One day it dawned on me, after all these years (I am 38) they are still getting to me. I relate to your concerns and there is no simple way to tell you to get over it. I am not going to give you pycho babble about how to get over it. I would think to use that anxt to your advantage, take something bad and make it good. Then you have won.

Answer 8

You need to realize that it doesn't matter what people think. I know you've prolly heard that one a million times, but the fact is that in the end YOU are the only one who will constistantly be in your life for the rest of your life. You need to get comfortable in your own skin. Once you get past that, you'll realize that the people who picked on you were 'tards who felt the need to pick on you because they wern't mature enough to find something more positive to do.

You can be the only person to be there for you.
How can you feel allright about yourself if you're worried about others?

Like my mom always tells me 'if they don't like it, then f*ck em."

Sounds harsh but it worked for me.

G'luck

Answer 9

Try to keep in mind bullies pick on people out of there own poor self image,so when you go out socially remember, they are still more mess up than you ever were.So there is no reason to worry about being picked on, now a days(that you are older) most people frown on things like that.Bullies are just jerks with nothing else going for them in most cases............

Answer 10

For one thing, my Yahoo friend, you have shown the courage to confront your problem and seek help for it. Having come this far, there is no way you can fail now to find peace, healing, and closure. I admire you for telling the world how you feel. Just think of how many bullied children you may be helping by telling your story. So, you see, I have already found COURAGE and EMPATHY among your attributes, and I'm sure you have many other positive traits, which you need to share with others.