Does my formal Boyfriend still feels or Love's his ex?!! He still has pictures of her on his phone & laptop...

Question

Im very deep with my current boyfriend, but i get the feeling that he still loves his ex girlfriend which really hurt him. I clearly understand that they had a 5yr relationship and he thought she was the ONE, but it turned out to be that she wasnt what he expected or better say what he thought he had known. I want things with us to work out. But I dont want to see her pics all over his electronics!!! I left my past & I wish he could completly do the same. I concider that our memories is enough to have of our past, especially with ex's that have hurt us !! I'd do anything for this relationship to work out. Im the one women in his life that does everything he wishes withought asking for nothing in return & always will be this way.............

Answer 1

He's clearly not over her, and as for you being the woman in his life, you're not. You are sharing him with her. She is in his thoughts in a big way. If he really cared about you he would consider your feelings.

Answer 2

I once heard someone say, that once you truly love someone, you always will. No matter what, he will always carry around feelings for her. The decision has to be completely his, to take her pictures down. If you try to force him into doing something that he doesn't want to do, in this situation, he will only end up resenting you! Play it cool, if he loves you as much as you think he does, it'll all work itself out!

Answer 3

Yes, I'm afraid he hasn't gotten over his last girlfriend. It would be wise to tell him that it bothers you to see his ex's pictures all over his personal belongings..

Answer 4

Oh wow...I feel for you and can tell you from the "ex" girlfriend's perspective...it's ESPECIALLY bad news for you if they still are talking, which they probably are. Five years is a long time and you don't know that she was the only problem in the relationship - you only know what he tells you. I'm going to tell you all this from my perspective because it isn't usually the thing the new girlfriend gets and I hope it helps you - I am sorry if it makes you sad, but I really feel for you and want to help.


My boyfriend dated someone for about a week or two when we broke up - we just got back together and he didn't want to hurt her but only felt lust and wasn't into her for anything else but to heal where he hurt and was lonely for me. It took him a little while to even tell her we were talking because he is a nice guy, but his heart wasn't with her...it was with me (actually, he slept with me twice before he even had the nerve to tell her that much). He felt bad because he had been with her to bandaid our problems. I understood this when I took him back last week, and we're fine now.

I was also with my boyfriend five years - and he loved me and my son and missed us and our life together and wanted us back because we had planned a life together (we didn't break up because of love or intimacy problems and are working out the other things - the other night he brought up us getting married again and is talking about getting my son a bigger room in our next place now). He actually checked all my profiles and looked into what I was doing online while he was seeing this girl. If I were you, I would break up, find someone else and let him work out his ex girlfriend issues, because if he still has all those things on his electronics, then he probably still deeply loves her, and on top of that he isn't being very nice to you in showing you them...he's either a selfish person or in a selfish place emotionally. I feel bad for you and also for the girl my boyfriend was seeing but there really isn't any way you CAN compete with five years of memories and love and things in common. My boyfriend told me that he kept being sad every time they would do something and he'd think of me because it was all things we had done together before...so best bet for you is to find someone who CAN give you the love you deserve. I wouldn't say it's this guys fault either because you just can't change how you feel even when it would be easier to...he needs to be happy with his ex girlfriend and you need someone who isn't in love with someone else The only thing I might be P*****d off about is if it sounds like he's hiding things from you, in which case, this guy is a closet jerk who only seems nice - it's really hard to tell sometimes, but if he's showing you his ex girlfriend, he's probably a self centered egomaniac and a jerk, anyway.

If you do all the these nice things for him and he still hangs on to her in any way, the relationship isn't going to work out, and it doesn't sound like he appreciates you for it, anyway - find one instead who IS available and CAN give you his heart, because you deserve so much better. Don't worry, though - you will find someone who IS right for you. It doesn't sound like you have been seeing this guy long either, because you didn't say you loved him it seems like it's early - WHICH IS GOOD FOR YOU because that just means it may HURT but won't devastate you...believe me, you will find someone who has the love to give you, and when you do you'll say "oh yeah...I remember that guy..." It's better than wasting months or years to find this out and be hurt more later that he STILL doesn't love you. It isn't your fault you aren't her, it just IS.

Also...it sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to MAKE this relationship work because past relationships have hurt you before...that is NO reason to settle for someone like this guy who can't give you his whole heart - just to have a "successful" relationship with SOMEONE. It ISN'T successful if you are putting in all this effort and getting little in return. If you rushed into things, it's okay to say you made a mistake...even if you slept with him and/or took some things too far. Don't change your life or make yourself try to be something he wants just to keep someone who doesn't love you - find someone else who DOES. You really WOULD be better off waiting for someone who can give you what you deserve and doesn't have so much baggage. I am sorry you are going through this, though. Good luck.