My granddaughter has been having sex with her mothers knowledge. She is 17 an IQ of a 5th grader. She has pill

Question

She has accused 2 guys of rape over 18. She tells her Mom shes leaving but no more. Her Mom doesnt know where she is ever. She has a lic but, takes the only vehicle at the house, Not thinking of how anyone could get to work. She has no job, but expects to be able to go when she wants. Im just Grandma and what I say just makes me seem to be a troublemaker. HELP

Answer 1

Be the trouble maker - Grandma! Your grandma!! That's your daughter and she's not doing her motherly duties to code...so your instinct is to step in! That's natural. MY GRANDMOTHER was in everyone's business, still is. She's grandma! No one disrespects her. We know what she does is out of love, even though times it seemed more harsh than love. But that is the way it is! Grandma's want the best for everyone! It's nature! I commend you for being there for your family! I say get in there and get on to your daughter and your grand-daughter, get'em lined out, and don't feel guilty about it. You won't have any piece of mind if don't try to help. That's what a good conscious and good hearted person does. And you sound like both!

Answer 2

Hi Grandma,
I know how you feel and I am a mother.
First, y your daughter is probably feeling a bit defensive about her parenting.
Maybe you can sit her down and tell her your concerns calmly.
Ask her what she does want for her daughter?
Ask her how you can help?
Sometimes people want to help in ways that we don't want them to help and they never really ask how they can be the most helpful.
Tell her that you love the grand and you love her and you want to also ease the burden on her also.
You know that it must be hard.
Empathize with her struggle.
Because, it is a struggle!!!
Some parents don't think that anything they do will make a diference, so they do the thing which causes least resistance: nothing.
Tell your daughter to use ayu as a resource.
You only want to help.
Also, tell your daughter what you think that she has done right. It is important to start from somewhere and if she feels that you are always attacking her parenitig, then she won't open up.
In the dconversation, you might tell her that you are worried because grand is getting way out of hand and there might be legal issues that you don't want your daughter or grand to have to deal with.
Yes, I suppose that you could petition the court, show why your daughter is neglectful and take the child.
But, you would have to move far away to make a significant difference in the Grand's life and have little contact with your daughter,
which will also destroy your relationship with your daughter.
So, court is a last resort.
Offer to all go to a family counselor, especially if the daughter and grand live with you.
What about Grandpa?
Sister?
Brother?
in-laws?
anyone that she would trust to listen to?

Answer 3

Her mom needs to crack the whip. No matter what her IQ is she can learn that there are consequenses for her actions. She needs to hide the car keys, ground her. Take everything out of her room except her bed....no TV, DVD player, computer, etc. It sounds like she has been spoiled because of her "Disability" and now she thinks that she can get away with doing what she wants. My step-daughter has about the same IQ and my husband made the same mistake with her and now it is really causing a lot of problems. Your granddaughter also needs to have some counseling.

Answer 4

earlier you had a baby, a lot of issues have been greater effective!!!! Nature made it which you're able to have a deleted sexcontinual for fairly some some after giving beginning. It replaced into no longer in any female's superb pastime to have intercourse and alter into preggers back interior 3 years of the beginning of the final.... at approximately 3 years 10,000 years in the past, a baby might desire to exceedingly lots do a lot of foraging himself. If a girl had yet another baby earlier then, she could then be carrying and nursing 2, putting all 3 of them in threat of death... she will't carry and nurse 2, so nature made specific she wasn't too receptive to intercourse. Hon, you're battling evolution!!!!! 10,000 years of it. (as an historic aside, many historical tribes killed that 2nd toddler somewhat than risk the lost of an person lady and her 2 365 days old healthy toddler.) you will locate your ob-gyn for some meds, yet what you have skilled is predictable... and we could prepare this in colleges, alongside with how divisive toddlers are to a marriage that's veeeerrrrryyyyyy youthful, yet we don't... So, congrats on your new toddler, congrats which you and he are weathering the typhoon, congrats which you are trying your superb to be an incredible spouse, and that i'm guessing already, you're an incredible mom..... and you would be large.

Answer 5

Try to put her in adult situations. Make her get a job and ask her what she’s planning on doing with her life. Tell her she can not have the car until she gets a job and refuse to help pay for anything until so. Hurry before it is too late. Both my parents are examples of what your granddaughter could turn into. They were both given everything they wanted. And now are bankrupting there parents. They are completely self indulgent. I now live with my sister because of it. I pray you teach your granddaughter that everything is not free. America's youth is becoming more idiotic and self obsessed by the minute? Please do not help contribute to it by turning the other way. Thank you for caring I am glad there are wonderful caring people like you.

PS calling her stupid will not help the situation any. Please reframe from insulting her just make her do things. But let her know it’s because you love her and not because you want to punish her. If you insult her she will think you’re just doing it to be a *****.

Answer 6

This is quite the problem. It must be hard, in your position to do anything. I am young, however the miles are long and hard. I think that the thing to do is religious. God is the answer. For everyone. If that is something you don't want to hear, there are other ways to handle a situation momentarilly. If you don't wnat to get on your knees. Then she (the 17 yr old) needs to be on ther knees. THAt ChILD neEDs disciplin!!! Spank her! I don't care if she is 45! That behavior dosent fix itself. She needs someone she can fear and love at the same time. she is rebelling, why? That is where i would start.

Answer 7

Your daughter may think your meddling, but with a mentally handicapped child that no one is watching out for...your daughter should thank you!

Report her to children's services.

If the grandaughter goes through with the rape charges your daughter is facing neglect charges at the least. And, may loose her child to the foster system.

Sounds like you are the only resonsible one in the situation. Make sure your granddaughter is taken care of above all else. Given the situation you should be given temporary custody at least.

Answer 8

You can try to bond with her more frequently to get her mind off sex and talk to her mom, maybe to take out or reduce the priviledge she's having. (Of course, if you want to built up trust and relationship, I would advice you're not talk to her negatively. )People at that age needs to learn a lesson from they own bad experience, adults are just there for support and prevention.
So gain her trust is the best way for aproaching this issue, cause you can know things before hand and be ready for whatever is best to come.

Answer 9

17 is more than normal for a young woman to be sexually active, however there is not much you can do unless she's been diagnosed as mentally handicapped in some way then you may be able to contact social services if you are prepared for the fallout from your family,

Answer 10

There really is not anything you can do. She is 17, thats a normal age for girls to have sex. And shes doing the right thing by being on the pill.