I am a horrible person...?

Question

my ex-bf and I broke up back in October... and I am still emotional over it... we tried to make it work as friends, but it's so hard... every time we talk on AIM and hit the serious relationship topics... I'd just become bitter and end up telling him how much he hurt me and that he ruined my life... I know it's really bad to tell him off like that and unhealthy for me... but for some reason I do it over and over...

I think now he is annoyed at me and hates me... and I know that I deserved it... I know it's the right thing to completely cut him out of my life... but I can't help but feel very low and stupid and immature for not being able to be civil...

it was my first relationship and first break up... I am having trouble handling it..

I wish I was a better person... = (

Has anyone experienced this before? being angry at an ex and telling him that he has hurt you... how did you deal with it?

I feel like I'm the only person who's this immature ....

Thanks for reading.

Answer 1

If you two just broke up, its better to have a cooling off period. A couple of months were you dont communicate. Just hang out w/ your friends, and talk to them about how you are feeling. You shouldn't talk to him until you are really sure you are over the emotional part of your relationship and are completely certain you can be friends.

Answer 2

You are not a horrible person! Your are a caring person who is trying to get over her first love. It isn't easy and you will never forget him! Hopefully you can become friends, but it will take time. If it is even possible, sometimes if you still have feelings for the person even though you have broken up it is very hard to be there friend, nearly impossible no matter how hard you try at any age. You need to take some time away and see if you still have feelings for him and if you do you need to be honest and tell him that you can't be friends right now because you still care about him and it hurts to much and you just feel really sad and it makes you unhappy that he is capable to go on and be happy and you are not yet capable of doing it. Just realize in time it will become posibble for your to move on as well but you may never be able to be true friends you may have to settle for acquaintences. That doesn't make you a bad person it makes you an honest caring person who is being aware of your true feelings and trying to understand why you are feeling this way. I am proud of your question. Good luck! Take some down time and enjoy your life without communicating with him.

Answer 3

No your not a horrible person. Your first love is always the hardest. I too tried to be the better person, but just ended up being a complete B***h. It took me soooo long to get over my heartbreak. In the end I just cut off contact with him, because I didn't like the person I turned into.

You know, he never really seemed to understand how much he hurt me. I doubt, even to this day, does he realizes the damage he did. He broke my heart, ripped out of my chest, and stomped on it like a used cigarette butt. In the end I was able to move on, but the distrust and anger I gained from that relationship still haunts me.

I am married now, for almost 7 years. Life is good now, and time does heal wounds. There is still a scar in my heart but everyday my husband kisses that scar to try and make it better. Little by little, day by day....

Answer 4

I wish I was a better person... = (
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You are a good person, and dont tell yourself that you arent. Everyone goes through bad break-ups, and that doesnt always mean its your fault. Its normal to feel emotional after something that was so great but ended so badly. You just have to look at your situation as if it was someone elses. Ask yourself: What advice would i give that person?
If you were looking at this question on Y! Answers and it wasnt yours, what would you say?

I feel like I'm the only person who's this immature ....
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Youre not immature for feeling sad or being upset with your ex boyfriend. You have every reason to feel this way, especially since this is your first break up and you dont know how to handle it. Be easy on yourself. Youre going through a hard enough time without adding more stress by putting yourself down and saying that youre immature. I think it all depends on you twos reason for breaking up.

Next time that you talk to him on AIM, just say: Listen, im sorry ive been acting the way i have. Im just so emotional over the break-up, and its really hard to get over, and we always get on relationship subjects, and it just brings it up. I dont know why im feeling like this, but i just feel immature and really mean. I know it was wrong for me to act that way with you, and im sorry. I want us to be civil with each other, cause i want to handle this the mature way. I want us to be friends, and i want us to be okay with each other.

Leave it at that, and see what he says. Overall, he should understand your reasons for feeling like this. Break-ups suck, and they cause a lot of problems. Good luck.

Answer 5

You sound just like me. I was the same way. I cut ties with my ex for a while. Then I found someone else who truely makes me happy. I still talk to my ex on instant messenger from time to time. When something comes up that feels awkward, I just politely excuse myself from the conversation. Like, "Well, I'm gonna go watch TV."

Answer 6

Trying to hurt those who have hurt us is a pretty common reaction. Not a good one, but pretty natural.

If you feel yourself getting angry at him, it's probably better to break off the conversation until you've calmed down.

Answer 7

if he is a ***** let im go...........but if he is a good guy..........forgiv him.........if he is a ***** he is da immature