We all have friends, presumably. We also, presumably, all have people who we love and trust to the ends of the earth. Yet, people come on Yahoo answers ready to spill their guts, secrets, and lives more openly to complete strangers than with their closest friends. Sometimes it's because of being embarrassed. But what does that say about our friendships? We're afraid of embarrasment?
Why is it, the closer a friend, the harded it is to tell your real secrets to?
If this isn't you, if you tell everyone everything, then the question isn't directed at you.
2007-01-24 07:08:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Anonimity for one, also you can get on answers anytime of day or night that may not be polite or convenient to call or meet up with a friend.
I have "spilled my guts" on a few personal issues, because I was all consumed with them and didn't want to run it into the ground with my friends.
I love my friends and vice versa, but we all know that the whiny wounded friend can get old at times. I wouldn't want to do that to my friends, to make them reluctant to take my calls perhaps.
Also, my friends haven't had all the same experiences as I have, so you get a broader forum here.
And finally, denial, maybe your friends are telling you what is best for you but you don't want to take that advice, so you come here looking for the magic answer that you want to hear.
2007-01-25 07:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing that comes to mind is that it's easier to get an unbiased opinion from someone who's not emotionally invested in you and your life. It's also easier for strangers, especially those who can't see you and vice versa, to be honest.
The second thing that comes to mind is this. The main reason I've always had trouble making "friends" is because whenever I do, I feel like I'm entering into a contract with them. Basically, this contract says that I agree to be and act a certain way for the duration of our friendship. I will not deviate from my friend's (not my, but my friend's) perception of who I am as a person. If I do, they reserve the right to judge, backstab, blackmail, diss, reprimand or demand I change back. If I don't, they also reserve the right to hold on to their newfound opinion of me and walk away from the "friendship". This is how "friends", especially females, have always treated me.
It is very, very difficult to find people who will accept you NO MATTER WHAT you do or say throughout your life. A lot of times, people come to see and accept you in a certain light and can't handle when you change or mess up or make mistakes. I've also found that the longer you've known someone, the more judgmental they may become of you. I mean, just look around at the responses to some of the questions on this site, you know?
What a site like this tells me is that if you are able to find people you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to with ease or without fear of them turning on you or judging you, hold on to them for dear life! Friends like that are so few and far between. But I know they're out there because I'm one of them.
2007-01-24 07:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel, in my heart, that people believe they have to be want others want them to be before they are liked. That would mean, not rocking the boat with issues that may offend or confuse the other person. Also, there have been times in my life, that the person that I wanted to talk about was the person I was talking to. No good. BUT! One very good reason for asking, or discussing, in depth, personal issues, right here, with the world of strangers, rather than your dearest friend is because you are more likely to get better advice from an objective observer than you are from someone that is emotional involved. It is almost impossible to gain, or give, a second perspective, if you are emotionally involved.
I am excited to discover, in my own circle, that people expect me to "dig" for, and "ask" those hushed up questions about issues that might cause good discourse. It has taken a long time, but I have finally ended up with friends that are not threatened by my questions nor answers, as I try to be with them, and because of this, I truly have, and am a friend.
2007-01-24 21:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by lisa l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that embarrassment is the major factor; I believe that you don't want the person to think poorly of you because you do value them and their opinion. It's a bit of an oxymoron!
Also, sometimes a perspective from a complete stranger is more helpful than that of someone involved in your life
2007-01-24 07:19:16 · answer #4 · answered by trinigal77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes i do feel more comfortable talkin to strangers n sharing my probs or feelings of that matter online...y?..its pretty simple..maybe to some extent there's a fear of feelin embarrased...spoilin ur good image that u managed to maintain all this time...n most importantly!...ITS THE JUDGEMENTAL ATTUTIDE OF OUR CLOSE ONES ...that we are most dreaded of....u just dont want any judgements frm them( coz if u dont abide by their suggestion or even dont like it....it may create tension b\w u n them, which certainly nobody want to)...if this wouldn't be true...chattin wouldn't have taken over other interests of ppl so rapidly.
talkin to strangers is like say it....forget it..nobody's got the time to rmmbr what so so person said in his so so q or ans...we all come here to chillax...n lookin for variety of qs n ans...its only possible here
2007-01-24 07:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by close_in_destroy_everything 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be straightforward with him and tell him what become really taking position. do not deceive him. you shouldn't have executed that in any case, surprisingly over facebook. It puzzles me why she couldn't ask him out if it become over facebook, it calls for no braveness in any respect. yet besides, merely tell him what really befell and what the honestly meant result become. See what he says.
2016-12-03 00:10:54 · answer #6 · answered by huehn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True, but strangers pose the least threat of being offended by something you or I say to them because they don't know you as your friends do.
2007-01-24 07:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by Lone Eagle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i used to be like that all secrets and shyness, but now I'm all open no secrets about anything so people have to like me for me not for then, but long while back, i was scared to share things with my friends cos i was scared they would ditch me, you know ridicule me for my thoughts and feelings, but now i know true friends really don't care unless your a psychopath or something.
2007-01-24 22:20:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people we love the most are often the people we hurt the most
Sometimes we seek charity and others are more than willing
This is interesting... http://www.newscitech.com/study-shows-people-compete-to-be-generous/
2007-01-24 07:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you get more meaningful answers from people who dont know you. Friends can be judgmental at times.
http://www.relationship-affairs.com/Friendship.html
http://www.relationship-affairs.com/toxic-friendships.html
2007-01-24 07:14:58 · answer #10 · answered by Sofia 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋