Sixteen year old need help?

Question

My self esteem is way beyond low I am very heavy but I have joined the gym and lost 15 pounds i compare myself to all the other woman in that gym and put myself down a lot. i have a personal trainer he is a dude so it is hard to talk to him plus he never wants to talk about if i bring it up. i am on the boderline of an eating disorder bulima I just threw up my lunch. I pitty my self and lets just say that i want other people to pitty me. And the way I feel is patheic. There are I have this idea that I have to perfect. I have culry blonde hair and blue eyes but I desire to have that tan black hair and hazel eyes many people tell me I am pretty but I feel terriable. people say stuff like I love your hair it makes me feel worse. I dont respect myself or love my self i beat myself up and put myself down i dont even know where to start I go see a threapist but I dont see her until the 8th of febuary is there anyone out there that can give me some advice? remeber your talking to a 16 year

Answer 1

i know exactly how you feel! im 16, and i went bulimic in 8th grade. about 3 months ago i started trying to recover w/ the help of 2 of my friends. i have a ways to go still, but i know im gonna get through it! email me & ill help you anyway i can ok?
[e-mail]
ill be praying for you girl! dont give up and email me so we can talk about this.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is to see a therapist. No matter what you look like you will still feel the same. People with poor self esteem always dwell on the negative. Like you said when people give you the positive affirmation that you are seeking it only makes you feel worse. You only see the negative things about yourself and even though you may think you want to hear compliments you can only hear negative things. A therapist will help you work things out it your head because even if you attained your ideal look you will never be satisfied. Best of luck to you and I hope you can appreciate what you have.

Answer 3

If your personal trainer is not willing to talk about your specific goals and how to achieve them, and if you feel uncomfortable talking to him about your goals, then switch trainers.

I would also see about talking to a therapist about your self image. Bulimia is serious mental and emotional issue that you may need professional help with. Nip it in the bud before it entrenches itself. I'm glad you're going to see one.

Don't compare yourself to the girls at the gym. I know the girls you're talking about, they're the ones whose makeup is still perfect and they're glowing with a light sheen of sweat. When I work out I look like crap, my face turns red and I get sweaty like you wouldn't believe, but boy do I feel good.

Don't worry about being perfect, just be the healthiest that you can be. Try to believe the people who say you're pretty. You will never have tan skin and black hair, but the tan-skinned, black-haired girls wish they had blonde hair and blue eyes - it's human nature.

something to bear in mind, if you ingest less than a thousand calories a day, your body will hold on to stored fat and won't build muscle. Your body uses 1000 calories a day just to maintain body temperature and bodily function. You need to ingest between 1200 and 1500 calories a day to build and maintain muscle.

Society puts a tremendous impression on young girls (and young women) to look 'perfect,' even at the cost of health. Don't let this ruin your life. The sexiest part of a girl is her brain, so develop yourself as a good human being and a smart one.

I hope this helps, I really do

By the way, congratulations on the 15lbs, that's a whole dress size! Pat yourself on the back.

Answer 4

just remember this ... the way you think is a habit, and to think positive you must practice, it takes a lot of time and effort, if you lost 15 pounds that tells me you have the discipline to change your mental health, I'm proud of you and you should be too, that's great, when you start thinking negative just stop yourself and tell yourself something good about "you", even if you do not believe it at first, remember it has to become a habit, carry a little notebook with you, write down every good thing you do for yourself or think about yourself. It takes time but you can do it

P.S. Good job on losing that 15 pounds......seriously!

do some research on Lucinda Bassett and attacking anxiety, You may not have anxiety but her methods help to improve self esteem!!!! Good Luck!!! Remember you are beautiful!!!!

Answer 5

You should start out by asking your mom to take you to a certified massage therapist to relax and take a moment to think things through while getting a 1hr swedish massage. Next, for weight loss, start getting colonic irrigations. Both will give you a better perspective on life. Third do some research about homeopathic remedies concerning the feelings you have been having lately. They work really well and are not alot of money. Lastly, dont forget your appointment with a therapist. It did wonders for me.

Answer 6

Honey, I feel your pain. I was exactly like you in high school. I was the brunette with hazel eyes but was heavy. We always want what we don't have. I am 35 yr. old and still struggle a bit with my self esteem. A year ago I decided to change my life. I started meditation. I pray and speak to myself in the morning in a peaceful place with nothing but positive things, "I am beautiful" - "I am a worthy person", "My family loves me", "And I love myself". It helps. There are motivation things on the internet for positive thinking and such. Start looking at things you do like about yourself and quit being so hard on yourself. I workout at "Curves" - only for women. It is 30 minutes a day. I am working with weight watchers also. I have lost 40 pounds in 3.5 months. I am feeling good and proud of myself. It was very difficult at first because we want instant results. Nothing comes easy in life. Take one day at a time, but be consistant. When you want to reach for that Twinkie, really think about what it will do to your self esteem. It is the devil itself. You can do it if I can do it. If you ever want to talk, email me at [e-mail]

Answer 7

Try writing in a journal and trying to sort out your feelings. This might be especially helpful when you see your therapist, you can let him/her know exactly how you feel.
It sounds like you are either very depressed, or you might just be going through your teen years (that's hard for everyone, trust me). But only your therapist can make that decision.
In the meantime, try to get out of the house and do something! Go for a walk, or help out an elderly neighbor. Doing something to help someone else will not only take your attention off your own problems, it will also make you feel good, knowing you helped someone else out.
I hope this helps.

Answer 8

I have a friend just like you and sometimes I feel the same way. My advice is not to get started with the eating disorder stuff. Trust me, it consumes you and its very very hard to stop. It's kind of like a drug. If you are really worried about your weight, I would try just eating healthy and exercising regularly. That doesn't mean not eating because that makes your body keep the fat in your body. Just try not to eat as much junk food and exercise. Also, one thing I have learned is that you can't compare yourself to others because you don't know what their life is like. you may like someone because they're skinny but they don't have a mom or they're living in a horrible situation. Also, I know its hard but try to learn to love yourself. Look more for the qualitites that you like about yourselt. Maybe you like your eyes or your smile. Try not to focus on what you don't like. And just hang on until you see a therapist. You can do it! Best of luck!

Answer 9

Not all but a good percentage have tried it once at least. Don't forget that most, of even those that have tried it do not drink regularly. I'm sixteen but my first drink was at 3 (no joke) but i don't drink often if at all anymore. I saw my parents drinking wine and drank some but I didn't like it much.

Answer 10

You need to start by loving yourself on the inside first. Don't go by just looks. Once you realize that you are a good person on the inside then you need to start working on the outside. It sounds like you are a very nice young woman. When I was a teenager I went through a similar ordeal. I talked to my friends and they really helped me through it. Don't start going crazy with the fact that you have to be perfect because no one is perfect. I suggest that you talk to your family and friends about this. Just remember its what is inside that really counts. Let me know how things go.