i feel really , hopeless, depressed and gutted, when i compare my life to others, that i think have a better?

Question

life than me and whove not been through what ive been through. for example. i live on my own, in a small flat/ apartment, battling through ,loneliness, isolation, low self esteem, low moods everyday, high levels of anxiety and panic, im waiting for a second opinion, and feel dedicated in gettin the treatment i need so i can live my life. im always worryin my life wont ever come together..im hoping for an acurate diagnosis so i can recieve the apropriate treatment, i have paranoid feelings to when my moods are very low. when im like this i cant even clean up, and my minds flooded with racing thoughts, and i have alot of disorganised thinking to..i feel so like ive missed out and dont have the things others have, like, friends, a nice home, a career, spouses, girlfriends.. ive made a couple of friends from myspace and added them to msn messenger. but i feel truly depressed looking at their happy photos on myspace, with their friends, laughin, in their happy homes, with materialism

and im like worlds away from that, those are the things i would love. and feel i should have them now at 29. what does anyone think ?

Answer 1

you let too many things get to you that you shouldn't. if you feel bad about how your life is going you don't need to make any drastic changes, just a few little things to build self-esteem.

Answer 2

It's good you are going to get treatment. I have recurrent depression and anxiety so I do know how dark and awful things can be. It just feels like it will never ever end. I think that's the torure part of it....just not knowing if or when. A lot of the time it just feels like you're existing and nothing else.

Do you live in the UK? If you do, I would strongly suggest you get in touch with MIND, they are an excellent organisation who run activities for people with mental illness. It helps, I find when you can talk to others who are experiencing the same thing.

If you don't live in UK, check out if there are similar organisations in your area.

If you are at home alone all day...you spiral deeper and deeper down, yet at the same time it's so hard to face going out or being bothered.

Don't worry about the mess your flat is in for now. Try to focus on YOU. If I didn't have the help of outside agencies when I was ill, I don't know how |I would have coped, so please try to look into this. Your doctor should have some addresses you can contact.

I used to look at other people walking in the street going about their business and I used to think, why CAN'T I?!! That day does come. When you get on the right medication, your paranoia will ease. Mediation can take a few weeks before they become fully effective.

There are SO many people out there in a very similar predicament to you, contact some mental health groups and you'll be surprised just how many. I know, 'cos I've met a lot of them.

Try to give yourself one small goal for each day. Make it a very small goal if you need to. Much as you won't feel like doing it, it WILL help you. Try to get out of the flat as much as you can, even if it's just to go buy a newspaper and sit in a cafe with a cup of coffee. It's a huge effort at times, I know, but it is worth it.

Things WILL come right for you, honestly. But remember medication will only do a small part of it, YOU have to do the rest. I used to think I'd get antidepressants and that would be that, not true. You have to push yourself out into doing things.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

I to also suffer from panic and high anxiety disorder. There was a period of time i hadnt left the house for over 6 months. I still cant go shopping which i use to enjoy but i take steps slowly.You have to find motovation in your life. Something that you enjoy and are willing to leave the house for. Mines was my daughters who have just started school and nursery.i find this extremely difficult but i do it. i do it for them and i'll keep doing it for them because they need me and i need them. this thing you choose you have to have will power towards it. you need to love it or doing it. you'll see what i mean when you choose what truly makes you happy and you are willing to do anything for. i do believe you will be happy soon. I sank into a horrible state of depression once and almost ended everything until i got a grip of life convinced myself i wasnt depressed until i wasnt no more and tried to enjoy life to best i could even if i couldnt get out the house. Even soaps,tv shows. Things that cheer you up. Make a timer go off 10 minutes before hand and when the timer goes of you'll feel happy and excited that what makes you feel happy and content is happening very soon. Please do not resort to drink because in the long run this honoustly makes you worse and can even carry on depression to its final stage. ive seen this happen. I wish i had the knowlege of this what i do know so i culd have warned this person but didnt and sadly lost that person but this wont happen to you because you have strenght. You've found strength in asking for help and knowing what is missing in your life so well done for this. You really should be prowed. You will get there. Keep going and believe in yourself
Good luck :o)

Answer 4

I have been where you are and do you know what you really do need to get a grip. Are you sure you do not have a thyroid problem get your doctor to check it out.

Please try and not despair and get occupied. Stay online stay away from forum groups but do try some interactive stuff like on line puzzles and the like. Do an IQ quiz anything to take your mind off your situation. This way you will get tired and get some quality sleep. Then you might be able to see the wood for the trees.

And eat properly, a good diet can help with depression and mental health issues. Dark greens and fresh air with a brisk walk do help. Join a group.... anything but do get out and about.

Answer 5

Who or what is your enemy? We are at a complete disadvantage when we do not know where to aim. You long for Life, this is not your enemy. You long for answers to the questions you ask, seeking Knowledge, is not your enemy. You are dissatisfied with the situation you alone are in. This is the battle, now where is the enemy? When you were young, your self control gave way to anger.
Now your anger and you are alone, and you fear the trouble it may cause??? Your thoughts are racing out of control? Build up your Strength in Concentration. One direction. Do not fear. You have in the past regained control over anger. Be satisfied, if, anger is not the enemy. Be satisfied, in the pursuit of happiness. We all get there one step at a time. Be satisfied, and concentrate on making a decision every day to do something you can and want to do.
Tidy up, cook a meal, email me, you must be able to look after yourself, or who will come to you to share home comforts. You must be your own best friend, for now. And as I ask for the last time, where is the enemy? I pray, that you see I have given you all I have that gives me peace, my most treasured possession, which maybe you'd call happiness, and you can't buy it anywhere, but it's the only thing worth fighting for; name it.

Answer 6

People are only happy because they are contempt with their current situation. It doesn't mean they deserve it any more than you necessarily. People's interpretation of happiness can be happy go lucky for little or nothing in life some need more accomplishments. Some refuse to be contempt always striving to be greater.

If something is out of your control than there is no point in worrying over it. Use your time effectively. Materials are just materials. Weather you possess them or not they are still the same. Don't allow possessions to define who you are as a person. Trophies are just shallow mementos of achievements. Live for yourself not rewards.

Answer 7

Well, I don't have any professional advice to give you, but I feel the same way sometimes... though I'll say this, you sound like you have it worse than me, but I still feel like you do sometimes.

I turn to music and Three's Company when I get to my most depressing moments.

But here's my advice... if you're not like me, the kind that's not able to tell people how they feel, or too scared to go to professional help, than I think you should go to professional help. I wish I could, but it's part of who I am that I can't.

Sometimes I feel that I have it bad too... until I see other people's worse problems... then part of my sadness goes for them.

But I really really really hope you find someone or something to make you happy. You deserve to be happy.

I'm sorry I don't have any professional advice.

Answer 8

HI, I know how you feel, as I suffer from all the ailments you have mentioned..there are support groups out there...try to find one that shares your problems...also have you mentioned all this to your doctor? It could help in your diagnosis. I am on several anti-depressants and am coping now. I am a single parent and have been single for the last 14 years...You will make it through...My other suggestion is to go to Church. I was suicidal and went to Church instead of killing myself..the best decision I ever made. I hope this helps. Take care and know that you are loved by God.

Answer 9

I feel the same way sometimes. It's depression, and the evil envies get to you because you don't feel supported, and you only count those who have let you down. You have to remember who has always been there for you.... family, animals, whatever, and then take a St. Johns Wort supplement each day and you will start to feel better within a week. Just asking us this question was step one. Good for you.

Answer 10

Look in the mirror and smile at yourself, when you go out smile at anyone who passes you (You'll be surprised how many smile back or say hello). I suffer from Clinical Depression and Agoraphobia. There is no magic tablet / concoction some days are better than others. It is now just my dog and I (there are times I can't even bring myself to take him out) and I am on job seekers. My girls have their own lives and when they do visit I usually have to go to my ex's to see them.
The only advice I can give is small steps one day at a time and don't beat yourself up or dwell on the past. We all have abilities the difficulty is figuring out our own and how to take advantage of them. Good Luck there IS Light it's just difficult to see at times.

Answer 11

I think that your own thinking has a lot to do with everything. You could be homeless or living with your parents. You have to realize one thing...many people feel inadequate. They just know how to hide it better. there are people who are walking around in designer clothes driving designer cars with absolutely no money at all. They spend every dime they own and every minute of their time trying to fit in and make the world think that they are something that they are not. There are also people who have responsibilities and know what the real world is all about.

As for making friends, if you trey to think a little more positive, positive things will happen. As long as you psych yourself into thinking that you have a mental illness, you will show the signs. You need to get out a little more. Go to the mall and look around. In the Spring and Summer, frequent parks and social events. Many people who are lonely go to these places in search of friends. You will be able to find general conversation.

Also, find out what you like and try to join groups. If you are into crafts, reading, etc. find groups and join them. No one is born with friends. It is up to you to make yourself happy.