Do you believe in forgive and forget?

Question

I have been throught a lot in the past 18 months and I won't bore you with the details,but among the other items that I had to deal with were some people who I discovered were'nt as good as a friend as I thought they would be. When they had hard times,emotionally,financially, whatever,I was there for them;to help or just to listen. When things started getting bad for me, and I began to withdraw,at first I wanted to talk to no one.Later on, as some things were resolved I realized how few people checked on me,asked after me,or even tried to help me. People I thought I could count on vanished,and those that I had treated badly were actually the ones who helped me. Yes, they were my true friends,who stuck by me no matter what,but who I neglected.

Now some of the others are acting like nothing has ever happened,like they did'nt ignore me,like they were there when I needed them. My friends say be the bigger person,let it go...but I am tired of keeping it in. What do you think?

Answer 1

When you were going through a hard time, did you confide in your friends to at least let them know you wanted to be alone? I don't think you can blame people if you gave off signals that you didn't want them. I don't think you should keep it in; talk to them. Tell them how you felt when you perceived they didn't care during hard times. Some might be surprised to know you feel that way since you never told them. I don't want to sound mean, but you can't expect them to read your mind. I've had friends who I've tried to help who seemed to get mad at me for getting involved, but when I don't get involved, they seem mad too. Sometimes it feels like you can't win, as a friend. The best thing to do, in my opinion, is to openly discuss your feelings and see what they have to say. If they don't enagage in the dicussion, I say screw it. You tried and they're unreceptive. Good luck.

Answer 2

i wager I partly trust in it. there are plenty factors: because it relies upon on what the guy has executed. in certain circumstances, who the guy is concerns also or a minimum of, I actually have heard. notwithstanding, in my opinion, it would not count number too a lot, when you're are my kinfolk, chum or a stranger. what's faulty is faulty. even with if I do some thing incorrect, I should be punished. regulations are similar for everybody. the different component is age of the guy. If the guy is underage or no longer. Are they mature sufficient? i'd forgive the guy subsequently, relying on what that is they have executed. If a persons' betrayed me, i could not in any respect forgive them. There are those who do forgive and that is their decision. yet i'm no longer one among those human beings, perhaps that's merely my immaturity. the biggest to me is, does it honestly count number to the guy. Have they actually realized and definitely accountable. If certain, then i might want to forgive them. because, if different man or woman couldn't careless after what they have executed. Then why ought to I forgive then. notwithstanding, if the different man or woman's executed some thing majorly incorrect like murdered my chum or some thing. then you surely might want to as accountable as you want, I received't forgive or ignore. Now by technique of your question, in case you mean like little issues. 2 years in the past, my chum had stated some thing rude to and we had an challenge. We weren't chatting with one yet another, she merely stated sorry and yeah, we all started speaking lower back. We weren't in any respect no longer acquaintances, cos she's the sweetest man or woman ever and an truly strong chum :). that is quite party notwithstanding that's the in user-friendly words one I keep in innovations. when you're speaking about extreme huge issues, like close to to betrayal, then i do not keep in innovations forgiving all of us or forgetting about it. reason is that those human beings couldn't careless and are selfish. So, i wager i'm no longer continuously the forgiving type of man or woman at the same time as it includes huge issues. That turned right into a lengthy answer on your ques lol. Cheers, Princess :)

Answer 3

I have had things happen to me and have have forgiven but I will never forget. I don't sit back and dwell on these things but They are things that I will never forget, i use them as a life lesson and some of the things and the people I deal with only occasionally but for my true friends, I told them how there actions hurt me and they explained their actions and For the ones that I consider true friends their explanations were understandable but now we both understand what the other expects and our friendship is stronger because of it. Talk to yoyr friends because you may find that they either didn't realize what they did wrong or that they didn't really know how much their presence would have been appreciated. If they are really your friend they will make it up to you and if they aren't they wont.

Answer 4

I am a firm believer in forgive and forget it makes a friendship alot stronger and it shows how much the other cares too. me and a good friend always been put thru the test rocky friendship from the start still trying to find balance in it but we are still sisters far as i know but forgiveness is our strong point in our friendshi. life is too short to hold grudges true friends understand no matter what.. I say be the bigger person i would.:)

Answer 5

I know one definite thing - the older you become the fewer friends you have. But they are real and will never give up helping you. I have only one true friend and forgot all the others. But I am happy now. As for forgiveness - it's a more serious question. When I can't forgive. I do away. It's my character. and you may be different. But I never gave the next chance for the people to do more harm to me or to my closest people. I am always ready to fight. May be it will help you somehow. Wish you to have nice, true friends!)))))

Answer 6

So sorry to hear you had to go through all that to find out who your friends are it hurts ,I know I've been there. Forgive and forget
and stand on your own 2 feet make them realize you don't need them anyway. Good Luck and Don't forget the 1's that looked after you they are the true friends for sure!!

Answer 7

Geez, sounds like we have the same friends! I too always helped my friends and family whenever they needed anything. But this last year has been really bad and everybody bailed on me. Will I forgive them? My so called friends, not a chance. My family? Yes, cuz their family. After this past year I learned who cared and who didn't, so now I'm bailing on them and moving to N.C. As Eric Cartman from South Park would say "Screw you, I'm going home"

Answer 8

I believe in forgiving, but somethings you can never forget. Even when you try to, it can creep up without you even wanting it to. Prayer helps, but it is not a cure. The memory just becomes easier to take with time. You can do it! It is possible to remember the event without the emotion behind it.

Answer 9

You can always forgive, but, never forget. You learn from your (& other people's) mistakes. If you forget, it's bound to happen again. So, you should always keep it in the back of your head so you can look out for the signs of it re-occuring.

Answer 10

When you were taking care of your friends during their hard times you became the nurturer, the one they went to.

When you needed nurturing they didn't know what to do. Probably, didn't like the change. When you withdrew they might have thought you were blowing them off.

It is selfish of them but it's human nature.