my mom always wants to tell me how i should discipline my child and it just gets on my nerves. How can i tell her that she should butt out of my business without hurting her feelings or risking her not wanting to talk to me for a while?? i've been dating a guy for the last 4 years (no he's not by baby's dady) and i'm havinga hard time trying to get him to commit to me and she keeps asking me why we haven't gotten married and totally emberasses me with my family by telling people that he's using me or that i'm stupid for being with him. How can i tell her that she needs to jsut mind her own business- there;s money reasons among others that are keeping me & my hubby from getting married yet but i feel that my mom wants me to explain to her every detail about my relationship with him and his & my finances. How can i tell her that it's none of her business?
2007-01-24 05:52:36 · 12 answers · asked by mari d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's your mom, no matter how suttle we say anything they get offended. Try having a heart to heart with her. Maybe she feelsas my mom does that (we are lonely. That our children needs a father in their lives. Good Luck. Try to make her understand your opinions from your point of view
2007-01-24 05:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Support Breast Cancer Research 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound relatively young but you shouldn't be slighted for that. Everyone needs to make their own way through life, especially young moms.
I will pass along a bit of advice to you about mothers of moms. You are not going to be able to change her no matter how nosey, rude, or interfering she is (and she is).
So, limit your time with her. If she detects you are doing this and wants to know why, you should tell her that sometimes it is uncomfortable to be around her so you naturally have gravitated away a bit for distance.
Don't lord it over her by acting like "you can't stay out of my business so I am staying away" because that is just snappish and not respectful. Just subtly do it. You don't have to announce it.
You see, you are just making life easier on yourself as you wanted in the first place. To bring it up and confront her will only make your life with her harder to deal with.
So do yourself a favor and look out for yourself by making yourself a little more absent from your mom's life.
About your boyfriend: Don't pressure him, that's not gonna make him do what you want and it could have disasterous results. And let your mom's criticism of him roll off your back like water off a duck. It doesn't mean anything so just don't take it to heart. If you fight your mom's criticism and this guy leaves, she will lord it over you. If you don't react to what she is saying about him and he does stay for the long haul and marry you then she will have to eat crow.
Good luck.
2007-01-24 06:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by freakazoid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This a touchy subject. I would just tell her that although you understand her concerns that you are raising your child the way that yoy feel is best. Also tell her that you will get married when the time is right and that you do not want to rush into an unwanted marriage because if you try and force him before he is ready your marriage may not last. Good luck
2007-01-24 05:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mom is right. You don't seem to have a good track record when it comes to men, do you? Maybe your kids are suffering because of your choices. If you still need your mom to babysit your kids, then maybe you should listen to her.
PS he's not "your hubby"- he's a guy you're dating.
2007-01-24 06:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've dated him for 4 years, he's probably never going to ask you to marry him.
People that love each other do not let money stop them from marrying.
My guess is, your mom is right.
2007-01-24 05:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you grow up as old as your mother is now, your kid will ask smb to help him (her) against you. It's life. Try to be tolerant to your mother. When my Mummy taught me how to live and bring up my kids, I felt the same. But now I wish she was alive and teach and teach me all the time. Come to her, kiss her and say: " Mummy, I love you so much, but let me have a try!!!" Remember me to your wonderful mummy. I know she loves you dearly!!! Hugs. Irene
2007-01-24 06:01:56 · answer #6 · answered by rusteach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give her a little detail! n avoid! bt u knw she iz ur mother! she gave birth 2 u n brought u up! she cares 4 u no1 elsae iz goin 2 do dat! she iz da 1 who iz sincere n her luv is pure! wud u like ur child to get mad at u when he grows up!
2007-01-24 05:59:28 · answer #7 · answered by dia a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a trick question!!!
You said it was about butting in about discipline. But now I see that you are in a failing relationship where you are trying to manipulate a boyfriend to marry you.
LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!
2007-01-24 05:58:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore her; there's no nice way to tell her to "butt out". Mothers are like that. Just let it go in one ear and out the other.
2007-01-24 05:56:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a measly, MEASLY fee of $500 I will go to your mother's house for you and straighten her out with one visit. Note: I already have the serated baseball bat that will be required for the job.
2007-01-24 05:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋