My husband and I have drifted apart and I don't know if I love him anymore? What do I do?

Question

Married almost 2 yrs., Together 7 yrs., No kids, He's 36, I'm 26, Been thru A LOT together.

Answer 1

do something to liven the relationship up and don't give up on each other so easily

Answer 2

We need more info. Like how long you have been married, how long you have felt distant and do you have kids together? I hear this a lot from people. Ask yourself these questions:
1) Would I care if he was with someone else?
2) Can I see myself with someone else?
3) Can I picture myself without this man? And will my kids be adversely affected?

There are a lot of reasons why people drift apart. The main thing is to figure out if your marriage can be saved.....and if you want it to. It will take a lot of soul searching and maybe some counseling for you two. How does your husband feel about your marriage? Please edit your question with more info so we can help you. Thanks.

Answer 3

My opinion ... people don't drift apart in a marriage. You become less interested in each other and do more things apart because you aren't communicating enough or well enough. Try to find some common interests, talk more about your likes and dislikes and see a councellor. You can find some common ground and learn (or maybe relearn) to communicate with each other. Don't give up, time changes everything, even how you show and understand your love for a person.

Answer 4

In my opinion you two need to sit down and have a good heart to heart and put out your feelings openly and maturely to each other. It is a sad fact that in today's busy society this type of thing happens often. If possible and your both interested try and put some excitement back into your relationship, even it is something as simple as doing things like you once did when you were dating. If required try taking some relationship counseling and have an impartial third party listen and make suggestions as to what you two can do to try and rekindle your relationship. Best of luck and I hope that you and your man can resolve this to your satisfaction.

Answer 5

I've been married for 21 years and there's been many times that we've drifted apart and I've thought about leaving him. But then I think of how much he means to me and how much I still love him. Just give it some time and things usually work themselves out. Good luck.

Answer 6

At times we can think things are apart or ho hum, but it could be that your looking at him and not at yourself. Are you putting your best foot forward, do you call him during the day, email him at work, and tell him special things you don't tell anyone else. I know it may sound a little to teenager, but are you noticing the small things he does? First be honest with yourself, am I putting in what I want to get out. A few weeks of effort could make a lifetime of memories.

Answer 7

love, I found, to be a tricky little emotion.... are you sure you "do not love him"? or could it be you are not "in love" anymore?? if it the first one? then you owe it to him (and more importantly to you) to determine whether you and he have something "worth" saving or holding onto.... you made a promise and commitment after all to spend your time in this life with him at your side.... so just ask yourself, do want to get back what you had with him? from there... you have a choice to make.... either cut him free (so that neither of you fall into that pitfall of "cheating") or plan special things, time together.. his favorites outings or staying in... your favorites too... romance or just fun.... let him know you are feeling alone in your relationship... that you feel you two have drifted and that you are needing to feel close to him.... we all, I think? feel that "rift" from time to time... but if you took that "plunge" to say I do; then he must have been very special at some point.... if you love him, but are not "in love"? well, that is something I do not think anyone is prepared for... I got married the first time at 20, and thought that feeling would be there forever.... euphoric, cloud nine....all happy, happy, joy, joy.... lol.. I was lucky, I had a mother who had been married 21 years (now 38 years) and grandparents who were celebrating their 49th as examples and to turn to..... and so I asked.... I thought I did not love him, what do I do... and my mother told me if I could say I would not be unhappy, or angry if I saw him holding hands with someone else, or kissing another... then maybe I need to think about finding to tell him I did not care (love him) I was heart broken though when I found out he had felt the same a few months later.... and actually came to me and said "I am not in love with you.... care about you.... don't love you" he thought (as I did) they were one and the same.... only he decided to go "fall in love" with someone else... because he liked that in love feeling.... he had chosen to come to me after the fact..... what I do to try and muddle thru which it might be? Is, I try to envision a life without a person in it... or when I was single and one of the things I did before I left my first husband? was to ask myself... if he were someone else's husband/boyfriend/lover, how would I feel? heart broken? or relieved? if I never saw this person again, if he passed away (heaven forbid) and I never laughed or cried with him... would it hurt? would I want to get that person back? or would it just be "whatever" no anger, hurt, jealousy.... that would be you not loving him.... I probably have muddled your question at this point... sorry if I have... hope however I have helped you to figure out... keep letting that drift happen? or reel him back in and keep him!

Answer 8

Ah, the ancient drift problem. Relationships can be saved if both people want them to survive. Go to counseling and spend more time together.

Answer 9

I think you should think about why you don't feel that you love him. If its just because you don't spend enough time together then you need to sit down and talk to each other.

But if it has to do with abuse whether its emotional or physical then you need to get out of the marriage quickly.

Just think about how you are feeling and relate that to your husband.

Good Luck

Answer 10

Communication is the key to a good marriage, and it sounds like the two of you aren't communicating! Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. If he agrees, you will save your marriage. If he does not want to go, the marriage is over.

Answer 11

I would say depending upon how long you and your hubby have been married, either short time, dump him and go on with your life, or seek council if you have been together for some time.