It seems that spliting a week (3 days at a time) is too much change for them but my ex believes that a week is too long. Please, no lectures. I am looking for advice from people with experience. Both kids are under 6. Thanks.
2007-01-24 05:27:57 · 11 answers · asked by realistnola 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and his daughter's mother do a weekly rotation. It works well. Probably because they have been doing it for so long. Their daughter is 4 and has been doing this since she was 2. Every other friday they switch after school. One of them drops her off at school and the other one picks her up from school and the one picking up on Friday keeps her for a week, then the following friday they switch and the other one picks her up from school. It works great and my husband and her mom don't even have to see one another since they do the drop off at school instead of from house to house.
As for holidays, she's with whoever has the week the holiday falls on. If by chance one of them ends up with her on Christmas or Easter week 2 years in a row, they usually try to be fair and let the other one have her for that holiday. The weeks are consistent but they're not set in stone. They are flexible with one another and more than willing to switch weeks to accomodate one another's plans.
It works for our family. But please whatever you decide, get it all in writing.
2007-01-24 06:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Betty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one no matter what you choose. My ex and I share custody as well. Every Sunday is the split. At 6:00 every Sunday the recieving parent picks up the kids. That way one parent is not doing the pick up and delivery all of the time. We also have a very extensive holiday schedule. Basically any holiday is rotated every year. It took a lot of time to get it all down in writing, but its a MUST to have it in writing so when feelings get involved, there is no issue. The kids have gotten used to all of the movement, and things are going well. Good luck to you!
2007-01-24 06:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by kcastillo1220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My only advice on the one week at a time thing is you have to think about the future too. Kids need routine and consistency. Eventually they will start preschool or Kindergarten. Will that schedule continue through the school year? Make sure whatever you put in place now can continue so that it is not disrupted later. We have a little different situation- out of state- my step daughter comes every other weekend, rotating holidays, half of x-mas break and half of summer. Summer before last we tried the every other week thing for the summer and it was too inconsistent for her. Also, it was hard to find daycare for every other week, etc. So we had to go back to court and ask for our 6 weeks to be consecutive- which was much better for her- she was able to have a routine and schedule and settle in somewhere and know exactly where she was going to be. Before she was confused all the time and never knew whose house she would be at when. Of course she went to her mom's every other weekend on the 6 weeks she was with us. She was age 5 and 6. I also have a daughter who lives with us and it was better for her routine to not be disrupted each week. Good luck.
2007-01-24 05:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I can't believe how many people have little ones that have to live like that! I am divorced from my son's father and we have joint custody as well. My son's dad gets him every other weekend. There's none of this 3 days here,3 days there stuff. Maybe it's something that's different from state to state. I would hate for my son to be moved around like that. I love him being home with me most of the time. Kids need stability. As for the holidays, we work it out from year to year. The major holidays are usually only ones we have to have a schedule for. All of the others are just based on who he is with when the holiday comes. I guess I'm lucky that his dad is cool with the visitation schedule. I would never deny him access to his son..things just always seem to work out for the best and my little guy is always happy!
2007-01-24 06:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by Justinsmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 6 year old and my ex and I share custody, we both can't stand to be away from our child for a whole week also, so what we do is a week to week schedule with a break on wed. so for example one parent has him from mon.-tues. goes to the other parent on wed. and then comes back from thurs.-sunday. It works well for us especially cause we live about a 10min drive away from eachother. Each of us has a full weekend to spend with him and each house is fully equipped with his belonging (clothes, toys, etc.) so a bag never needs to be packed or shuffled around unless it's his school bag. Hope this gives you an idea, it works great for us, good luck I hope you find a schedule that works for you too.
2007-01-26 13:29:21 · answer #5 · answered by Sunny R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has been proven that children do not do well with 50/50 splits such as a week on/week off. Three days a week (are there any overnights?) is probably fine. It is really tough for kids to have basically two homes, and it is best for one parent to have primary residence with the children and the other parent visiting/weekends, etc.
It's really tough all around though, best of luck.
2007-01-24 05:40:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My custody schedule is currently whenever he wants to see them (or has time off from work) he is more than welcome to come get our girls. But like you, I feel that this is starting to be too much movement for my girls (both are under 6 as well). We have been discussing the one week with me and one week with him for a while now and are about to put that into effect. We have decided on a Monday to Monday schedule for exchanges. Hopefully this will work better for us and the girls. Good luck.
2007-01-24 05:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the father of my daughter picks her up 3 weekends out of the month. It has been like that since she was two, she is seven now. They usually get use to the change but it does take a while for her to adapt.
Hope this helps. try and do whats best for the child. Trust me that was super hard on me.
Good luck
2007-01-24 05:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by ivonne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex and I have split the week and it has worked out fine. He has them on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. I have them the other days of the week. We've discussed other arrangements and have asked the children what they think and this has worked out the best so far. That way neither of us has to go to long without being with the children and they don't have to go too long without being with each parent. Every family has different needs, so go with what works best for you and your children. Good luck
2007-01-27 21:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As of right now under my temporary order my fixing to be ex on gets our daughter for 24 hours every other other weekend. It is likely that he will get her every other weekend once the divorce is final.
2007-01-24 05:33:26 · answer #10 · answered by SB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋