My husband recently let another women kiss him and had feelings for her. He had lost these feelings for me because I didn't pay enough attention to him. Right now he says he wants to fix our marriage, but he is distant , mean and sometimes just hateful. He says he loves me. He says he can not say that he wants to leave or get a divorce., but he can not kiss or hug me without getting upset or angry. I am going to marriage counseling without him-he will not go and i do not want to force him. I just don't know how long I can keep doing this. I am always upset and crying and I have a 2 yr old beautiful daughter and I am sooo worried about her seeing all of this and if he does leave, I will be so upset not to see us both when shw wants. I really needs some GOOD advise. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-24 05:24:26 · 8 answers · asked by saj2404 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please don't put all the decision-making power into his hands. Stand up, for your daughter, make a decision one way or another, and begin planning for your futures with or without him. He's making it very clear to me what he wants to do.
2007-01-24 05:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by C. J. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through something similar. I was the one that couldn't make up my mind. I pushed my husband away. It took a long time but we made it. He also went through counseling without me. I was so selfish and I almost lost him too. But I can not tell you what the breaking point was. I do know that it is easy to fall out of love. But it is also possible to fall back in love. Just keep your faith and be true to him and yourself. If he dosen't want to leave or get a divorce he wants something. What made you two fall in love? Bring yourself back to that time. So many times LIFE gets in the way and we forget that are hearts used to race at the thought of our spouse. Then somewhere along the way we lose it. I now appriciate my husband more than anything. He is and will always be the love of my life. I say hold on and hang in there. He loves you. He needs to work out the issues he has. When your heart is hurt for whatever reason it is so easy to let go and open the next chapter. But it is much more rewarding if you can weather the storm and come out on the other side with more understanding about each other. I hope that you can work things out. Love is a very strong bond and it is harder to break than he thinks. Just when I thought I didn't and couldn't love my husband, the love that I tried to hide came around and we could never be happier. It was a surprize to me but I couldn't be more thankful. Good Luck.
2007-01-24 05:44:05 · answer #2 · answered by cherristee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The usual problem between husband and wife in a situation such as yours is lack of sexual satisfaction. With a small child in the family, life gets busy and tiring. And often there just isn't enough time and energy to please each other sexually, as husband and wife should do to keep their love and relationship going.
Find out exactly what it is that your husband wants but doesn't get in his relationship with you. And if it's something that is fair of him to expect of you. And if it's something you can give him, then give him that which he is missing in order to fix your marriage.
Perhaps you've rejected his sexual affection towards you before, and this may be the reason why he is looking at other women and has difficulty getting intimate with you. And if that's the case, then do the opposite of what you've done before. You kiss and hug him and grab him you know where. And if in the heat of the moment he rejects you, then this will make the two of you even. And perhaps then you will be able to get back to a normal relationship with him.
2007-01-24 06:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no advocate for divorce I believe any marriage can be salvaged if both partners are willing to try but thats the thing they both have to want to try. From what you are saying I am getting that he wants out but he wants you to be the one to do it so he doesn't look like the bad guy thats just my feeling from what you say but you need to go to him and say "we need to work on our marriage for our daughters sake and for our own,come with me to counseling to prove you want this to work if you don't then I will know you don't really want to fix this and I will be calling a divorce attorney asap" His answer will give you your answer and if he does not want to get help for the two of you then its obviously time for you to move on with your life as hard as it may seem I wish you the best of luck =)
2007-01-24 05:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by Beautiful Dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Act as if he isn't there but be nice if he addresses you. Make plans, take a course or workshop, go out, take the kids places as if he doesn't exist. That way, if he moves on, you have started another life. If he doesn't then you have regained some of the life that you have lost during the marriage.
2007-01-24 05:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make up his mind for him and tell him he's lost his mind if he thinks you're going tolerate this while he's messing with another woman. Get him out and divorce him.
2007-01-24 05:30:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he doesn't care. Stand up for yourself and leave him ASAP!!
2007-01-24 05:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by Tiger Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree wih c.j.
2007-01-24 05:33:03 · answer #8 · answered by cinerella19772 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋