During the first year of your marriage did you think sometimes “o my god did I make a mistake”. Does this pass with time? My wife seems to not find anything good with me right now after this first trying year of marriage (we’ve had to blend families as well). Is this normal? Will she snap out of it or should I just start preparing for divorce?
2007-01-24 05:23:36 · 18 answers · asked by golf4everdude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO DONT PREPARE FOR DIVORCE MAKE UR MARRIAGE WORK AS HARD AS U CAN!! GOSH DONT BE SO NEGATIVE NEGATIVE THINKING GIVES U NEGATIVE RESULTS!
2007-01-24 05:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by NONE OF UR BIZ!!!!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first year I found myself saying that alot, so many changes, new baby, blended family as well, she is feeling overwhelmed. I don't care if you date someone for yrs then get married you will always have to go through some type of change, b/c it is different being married than being a couple. You will learn new things about her as well as she will learn new things about you. This can be challenging, however support her and spend some time just the two of you to reconnect the romance and love that you have put on the back burner(it happens to everyone!) HOpe you the best and just remember no one is perfect. Her problem is she is having some insecure issues, it could be alot worse, trust me. HOPE YOU THE BEST!
2007-01-24 06:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by cueteclady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is hard enough when you start out to begin with, but if you are trying to blend families then HELL yes its hard, (especially if shes a stay at home mom and doesn't get away from the kids or house every day)
trust me, i know this from experience (19 years, may 4 will be 20 years)
it is very difficult, but it will get better. as everyone eventually settles into a "normal" routine.
the fact that you are already mentioning divorce does not bode well for your marriage. you have to be prepared for the long run. be determined that you are going to make things work. and then do it.
there will be compromises and sacrifices all the way around, but these things should make your marriage stronger, not tear it down.
good luck.
2007-01-24 05:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, but I quickly got over it. You have the added pressure of trying to blend families and that can't be easy.
Do you and your wife ever have any alone time? You've made a dramatic life change and maybe she's feeling overwhelmed. Has there been issues with the kids? Have you asked her what you can do that would make her feel better about things? Have you talked to her about going to a counselor?
You both have a lot going on. Don't be so quick to start thinking divorce...talk to her!
2007-01-24 05:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I did. Our first year was the hardest. Learning each other as a spouse and not a boyfriend. I felt overwhelmed, but after the first year and the adjustments things settled down. Its hard going from the dating and exciting phase to being percieved as the the nagging wife. One problem is everyone kept telling me it should be this glorious honeymoon period and it wasnt. We went through a lot of change and bad luck that first year, so it made me question things. But those issues are just life, and you have to deal and move on. Try reconnecting, go on dates, compliment her for no reason. even if you have children you have to understand that there are two different roles here. Not just the partnership, but the fun lovers as well.
2007-01-24 05:46:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the first year is the 'lovely year'. You know, still honeymooning and all that. I don't think that will pass with time. I have been married for 4 years and I realized that the whole time I didn't like who he was. I was always trying to change him and make him act a certain way. I was wrong. We probably should not be together. I love him with all of my heart but I have hurt him by not accepting him for who he is. He is not happy and because he is not happy he stop making me happy. See where this is going?
Now we feel kind of trapped because we have a house, a lot of debt, a 2 year old son and it is kind of hard to leave our situation. So please, if you feel like she is not accepting you or is not happy with you, talk to her about it to see if you can solve the issue. Good luck.
2007-01-24 05:31:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage takes a lot of commitment and work from both partners all of the time. People shouldn't get married only to divorce a year later. Try marriage counseling even hun, maybe that can help you guys.
2007-01-24 05:27:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I never had that thought. I'm sure the blended family thing puts an enormous amount of stress on everyone, but the key is COMMUNICATION! Truly, you must talk it out, perhaps now is a good time to get some counselling from a pro.
2007-01-24 05:33:47 · answer #8 · answered by dogriver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is my personal opinion...After my first year I often asked myself the same question about my husband. But I think is more because you need time to adjust to each other needs. To learn more about each other. Is not the same when you date than when you live w/ that person. You have to find out the pros and cons. So it does take time. But after a while I realized that I loved him and that even w/ all his faults, that we all have one way or another, he was a great man. Be kind to her and listen to hear and be sweet to her. Women go through many emotionls that sometimes is very hard for the man to understand. I hope she really loves you and u guys can work things through.
Tomasina
2007-01-24 05:32:41 · answer #9 · answered by Lola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first year is typically the hardest. I did wonder if I made a mistake a few times. It got better for me. Have you thought of counselling with your wife? blending families is not easy.
2007-01-24 09:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by stripedbook 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say that the first years of marriage are the hardest. I personally didn't experience it that way, but that doesn't mean that she is not just adjusting. Talk to her. You have to communicate in a relationship. If things don't get better, try marriage counseling.
2007-01-27 21:09:24 · answer #11 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋