What do I do?

Question

My husband is 36 (10 yrs. older than me) and we've been together almost 7 yrs. He is content, but I can't stop thinking about being single again. He is such a good person and he treats me well. We're both changing into non-compatible people. What do I do?

Answer 1

Talk to him about your feelings....

Answer 2

Age difference may be a small factor, but not big enough to be the real reason of drifting apart. Are you spending quality time together? Are you still having fun? Sounds like you may both need to just do something fun together. Is it possible to take a short vacation somewhere and talk about what you are feeling.

Many men just presume that we women are happy if we don't let them know. Many men also come home to find the house cleared out and thier woman gone. They say that they thought all was going well, but when the woman is asked, she says that it had not been going well for a long time but she just kept stuffing her feelings.

Be fair to the both of you. Let him know what you are really feeling. He may have no clue. Just because he is a good person also does not mean he is thr right one for you, however, after investing 10 years into this marriage, isn't it worth a strong effort to save. Maybe some good marriage counseling is in order. Make sure you seek a qualified Marriage Counselor who has lost of experience working with similar issues. Ask them about their success rate as well.

Lastly, at 26, you are still young enough to want to go out and have some nightlife and fun times. Maybe at his age he is just not into that anymore. Could there be a compromise between the two of you about certain desires that each of you want? Maybe if you could go out and do some things on your own with friends and other trustworthy people, you may start to feel a little more fulfilled as well.

Good luck. I am sure this is very hard. Stay strong. There was a reason you were initially attracted to each other. Hopefully some of that is still there.

Answer 3

Go to marriage counseling. A divorce is going to hurt. If there is any chance that this marriage can be salvaged, it is likely in your best interest to give it a try. ESPECIALLY if he treats you well! There is little guarantee that you'll find someone better later. A marriage counselor will be able to help you work out your feelings, and identify the causes. There may be solutions that will help you find the love that is hiding inside of you.

That said, if it isn't going to work out, then the best thing you can do is to just be upfront about it. Tell him straight. Then call an attorney. It is going to suck, but it is not as bad as staying married in a loveless marriage the rest of your life. Think it through carefully, though. Talk to your friends and family about it. Talk to a professional therapist. Love is something that can be rekindled. It takes work. It takes committment. If you don't have the maturity to do it, then you're better off being single, but a good guy does not come along every day. Good luck!

Answer 4

Be content and appreciative on what you got. Many woman would love to have the opportunity to have a good man in their lives especially when he treats you well, you count to him. You have married and vowed through thick and thin, through changes you are able to coop and work around things. Number on is communication and being truthful. You have made some history with this person and it's seems to be good. Change the way you think, think positive be appreciative and thankful. Use your time elsewhere, occupy yourself do things you love to be happy. Your able to make friends and to also have a social life, profit from it. Do things together that you both will enjoy. Both most be willing and wanting to make the relationship work.

Your already wanted, loved and have the attention needed. You just need to look right in front of you and say thank you.

Best wishes.

Answer 5

We are all like that. Mostly women, now-a-days. I've been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years and we have a child together and I sometimes think of how it would feel to be single again but I know I truely love my Fiance. It's just thoughts that everyone has. It might mean that you both have been setting the same pattern for so long that you are used to each other. You need to sit down and ask your self if you really love him or want to be with him. If you do then talk to him about your feelings and then start to rekindle your relationship.

Answer 6

you took a vowel' death do you part for sickness and health ok so listen... why did you fall in love with him? what did you two do that was so awesome' ask him? why did he fall in love with you? now try romance do some off the wall things when he comes home one night flip the breaker... no lights start dropping your close to the bed room where there is candles everywhere be sitting in a hot bubble bath' the point is keep it fresh and sexy start doing things together a hobby' something you both want to try something new' like new friends , start going out' but no matter what dont give up' dont !good luck let me know how it goes'

Answer 7

That is why marriage takes work. You have to work at it. You said he's your husband - that means you are married and have vows to stick to.

I would suggest, getting out to do some things that you want to do - together

And also get some time with your friends and have some fun on your own (being good of course) .

You have to work at it. You didn't state too many details, but I think I understand... you both need to do something for each other, he needs to do somethings you would like to do and you need to do somethings with him that you normally wouldn't do. Just find each other again.

Best of luck.

Answer 8

Most women want what you have. I think you shouldn't be so sure that the grass is greener on the other side. You think about being single again... why? What is it you want, that you think you're not getting. Ask your man for it, spice up the life - you might be surprised. Something brought you two together, strike it back up and be thankful you got a good one.

Answer 9

The first four answers are excellent advice. Communication is everything. Is marriage not what you expected it to be? You have the power to change both your expectations and your marriage so that they do work together. What about single life do you want? Except for multiple sex partners, these "wants" can be met within your marriage. Communicate. Start today. I do wish happiness for both you and your husband.

Answer 10

Try seeking counseling on your own first and then try marriage counseling try all your options before divorce. But you have to do what makes you both happy so communication is always key age really isn't that big of a deal try to work through your issues.

Good luck and I hope it all turns out well for you.

Answer 11

Well, you have to discuss this with him before this turns into 15 years later and you are both bitter and unhappy with what both of you could have done with your lives.

Tell him that although you are loyal to him, you really do not feel any true love for him anymore and would like to end the marriage.

Tell him that now that you are growing up, you are beggining to realize what you actually want in a relationship and evidently, he's not in that equation anymore.

He'll understand. He's a nice guy. Nice guys always understand and nice guys always find new lovers because girls can't resist us.