Tricky question ..... I NEED input from oprn minded people ONLY!?

Question

Ok I have this good relationship with my old best friend he was gay or bi and we ended up getting together he says he loves me …. I went for the relationship and now I have been trying for a 3-some he does not want to…. But told me that in the future we could go and do our thing and then come home to the same bed … what do you think about this? I asked him if we could do it know because I am a very open minded person and he said no not now later ... i need some input asap

I am not pushing him i just dont understand why he wants to go some where else and do his thing if i rather do it together...

Answer 1

To watch whom you love making love to another person even if your involved is hard you have to be 100% sure you can handle it and he cant not just yet he may only be trying to talk himself into it to please you which in the dawn light will either bring acceptance or a festering hatred to the relationship.
The reaction of one lover with a stranger can bring along all kinds of insecurties(?).
His idea of doing it seperate could
mean he is not sure that what he does for you in the bedroom pleasures you enough and watching another person please you can hurt him maybe you should ask him why and tellhim your curious why later and not now whats the difference but doing this can open a timebomb
I think your old enough to know of the risks involved and that the fact you need to be honest with the third person involved too

Answer 2

Sounds like you want more than just him. He is publicly, for the moment, accepting. Still, I suspect that is a temporary, perhaps "hypothetical", answer.

Back when people danced while in contact with their partner, the analogy is pretty simple--he doesn't want to do that dance If you find another partner for the next dance, then he isn't the partner. That signals a problem. I think you need to hold off, or een forget it. I suspect that if you persist down this road without his leading, he eventually will let you go it alone for the whole of the rest of the trip, if you catch my drift.

Answer 3

So you two have an open relationship?? You want a three some and he doesn't. Whats the problem.... he doesnt want to do it... If you two have the open relationship maybe hes ok if you are doing things some where else but doesnt want to be with anyone other then you when you are together??? Or maybe he doesnt want you to see him with some one else...

Answer 4

Well, if you are female and with a male -- he is not gay -- he is bi -- OR he is in denial.

If he does not want to have a threesome, then you should not have a threesome, whether you are male or female. If you love him, you don't need a threesome if he doesn't want one. If you want the threesome more than you want him, you should leave him and find someone else who does want a threesome.

It's really pretty straight forward.

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 5

Sounds like he's just not ready for that kind of relationship at the moment.
So, let it go and stop pushing him.

Answer 6

If he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to. What's your question? How to force him? That is, how to lose his friendship?

Having an open mind is OK, just be careful your brains don't fall out.

Answer 7

I find monogamy to be one of the greatest things in life, but it's not for everyone.

Don't push it on him. If you push him, you may get your yes, but it'll hurt him. You BOTH need to be comfortable with it.

Answer 8

I am sure when you meant open minded you meant you did not want to hear what you already know about the quality and morality of your situation.
Well why ask us? He already told you no.
He told you go on and do what you want with others.
Sounds like a match...

Answer 9

I think that if your open minded to that point then go for it. but if he doesn't want to then don't make him.

Answer 10

it appears to me that he does not want to do those things with you but donesn't mind if he does if with some one else. that should tell you some thing girl.