do you believe the divorce rate is so high because…?

Question

in most cases people are doing the things that are supposed to be saved until after marriage before they are wed.
There are very few women wearing a white wedding dress on that big day that really should be wearing it.(if you know what I mean) i think this is a big reason why divorce is so high, because people have little moral integrity.

Many of you are saying because there is no commitment and because people just give up when things get tough.
Don't you think that lacking in commitment kinda has to do with how some ppl date one person after another (acting immorally), and break it off as soon as they don't feel the flame. they carry that mentality into their marriage.....? just a thought

with so many answers i can't just pick one....so i'll leave it up to public oppinion

Answer 1

I think that not being abel to where white is only the beginning. Divorce is to accessible and accepted. People find ways to get out from under the one true law to make themselves feel better about it. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The truth is all need to be set free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If people would grasp that concept there would be alot less messed up marriages.

Answer 2

One would think so but ...
On the other hand, if you are learning about someones In's and outs for the first time after you've made that life time commitment, you'll either put up with it and be miserable or not and run. You know it could be that those people who do wait to give each other their all after the wedding, are not that impressed and they are the reason why divorce is so high. Maybe if they got to know each other before then they would know if that is the person that they would want to spend the rest of their lives with!?!
Something to think about - I'm just being the devil's advocate. I don't know which is right or better. I've seen divorce from a couple that got married 3 months after meeting in church. They followed all the "Biblical" things to do but they got divorced a little over a year later. I've also seen couples live together have kids, then get married and divorce shortly after as well.
I just think that as a couple and an individual, you do what you think is right and feels right to you.

Answer 3

There are no studies that confirm what you are saying. I agree with you that moral integrity is an important part of marriage, but how that moral integrity is defined varies from person-to-person and culture-to-culture. That said, studies show that the following things are the leading causes of divorce:

Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Infidelity

Less often, but still frequently, the following play a major role as well:

Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills

None of these are directly linked to pre-marital sex. In addition to this, there are a few studies that suggest that living together prior to marriage is a good thing, as it teaches you ahead of time whether or not you are compatible. For many people, this is going to involve sex. I'm not going to say one way or another whether or not this is right or wrong, but it is a fact of life for some people.

That said, if traditional sexual morality is a major priority of a person, and someone else's priority is different, that is going to fall under one of these categories and be a major factor. I think it is great that you value your sexual integrity! But it is not the cause of high divorce rate. That said, your emphasis on moral integrity will only serve you well if you are married, provided that you find a spouse who shares a similar conviction.

Answer 4

I have been married twice and have had only those two lovers. I divorced because it seems that I was in a one sided marriage. Adultery just breaks down a marriage. I hope to some day have a man who can actually enjoy a monogamous relationship with me until deaths parts us.
People think that having relations with someone else is a big deal, but if it is really thought through, they willl discover that it is all hype and based on their feelings.
Feelings can be manipulated and directed.
I have feelings of passion, but I will not act on them until I actually get married again.
I talk of love and being loved, but there wil be one person who will experience me and that will be my husband.
To answer you question there are many reasons that two people break up or divorce. God never meant it to be so. Sex is not the most important thing in a marriage, but it is one of the expected benefits and I expect to be able to not worry about any diseases-especially today.
If anyone is messing around , they are playing with a loaded gun!

Answer 5

I think it has to do with the maturity of the people that get married. Me and my husband were neither one of us virgins when we met and got married. Even though I was raised in church and realize that was wrong that wasn't an issue for us at any time in our marriage. I would only see that being a problem if you married your spouse and were not over your ex. I think people don't put enough thought into what kind of person they want to marry. I mean you could fall in love with someone and then discover that they are addicted to drugs. Does that mean you need to be with them. Heck no. You need to find out how many kids if any they want?, What religion are they? Is this going to create a problem later on when kids come along?, Do you have the same goals with money? Are you going to cleave together as one or let other people inter fer in your marriage? Stuff like that is important and its better to know it before you get married, and then discover that you didn't know the person as well as you thought. Me and my husband were together for 18 1/2 years before death parted us and though we had problems like any married couple we worked them out. I will say this though if I had to do it over I wish I could have been a virgin when I married my husband because there is a big difference between sex and making love.

Answer 6

What does a white dress have to do with anything? Who cares. Divorce is high because couples do not try to work through their problems. But once a person is betrayed it is hard to get that trust back. So you may have something on the moral integrity because some people don't say true to their vows. But most men want their wife in a white dress even if he is not her first.

Answer 7

I think the divorce rate is so high now b/c couples give up too soon. They seem to think that when things go wrong, they need to turn to someone else for comfort rather than each other. They have to do what they did long ago....give it all you can to make it work. Take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, stick up for each other when needed....THEY JUST CAN'T THROW IN THE TOWEL! And they should never stay together for the kids...it only makes it worse. But they should give it all their all to make it work. Or at least try to.

Answer 8

I don't think it has to do with premarital sex at all. That's been around forever. Did you know in the middle ages it used to be looked upon favorably, as a way to see if a couple would be fertile?
I think it is more "lack of effort" than anything. People expect marriage to be a fairyland where bad things never happen. Other people fight, but you never will. Right.....
People who are concerned about divorcing may want to get counseling BEFORE the marriage. So many people think it's very easy and have so many unrealistic expectations.

Answer 9

That's not the reason that divorce is so high. I mean it's bad that people have sex before they are married because I'm one of the few who waited but the most reason why it's so high is because people give up way to easily. I think they go into the marriage thinking "If this doesn't work then we can always get a divorce." That's a stupid thought to have. When something goes wrong instead of trying to talk about it and resolving it people say "I want a divorce." I don't understand why people give up their marriages so quickly why can't they fight for them. That's what marriage is suppose to be about. I look at my parents who have been married for going on 35 years this year and that's how I see marriage. They've been through a lot especially with my brothers and they are still together. They've had their shares of fights but they work them out and stay together. That's how I see my marriage with my husband. We've had our shares of prolbems after almost 5 years of marriage but we have worked it out and stayed together and that's how it will always be. People really need to stop looking for people who they aren't compability with because you can be to different. It's worse when children are involved. My husband's had to deal with the divorce of his parents since he was 2 but they weren't meant to be. My father in law left my mother in law for someone who was twice his age after cheating on her and my husband was 2 at the time. My husband just told me he has a friend who's dealing with the divorce of her parents and she's 18. It's just terrible how many people don't stay together. If people would just do what we did and ask God to bring them their soulmates then they won't be with the wrong one because he give us someone that we not only want but one we need. It helps when someoen doesn't get married right away after meeting but if they'd get the chance to know them as friends for like a year before they start dating unless they knew them all their lives then their marriage would last a lifetime.

Answer 10

That's partially true but the major reason for divorce is money. But studies show that people who have lots of sexual partners before they get married, do not have satisfying sex lives. The Creator certainly knew what He was doing when He told us to wait until marriage.

Some other problems that stem from premarital sex are children born out of wedlock. That tends to pressure people to get married when they're not ready or not truly in love which also leads to divorce. Interesting stuff.

Answer 11

I believe that the divorce rate is high because its easier to get a divorce than to work at your marriage. People just rush into getting married and once the new has worn off are ready to leave.