he has left me and is living in another state--he never calls, wont tell me when hes coming back but he says he misses evrything about me...right now he is going thru a depression, his brother died less than a year ago and our anniversary is next month..when is a good time to break the news?
2007-01-24 04:37:08 · 27 answers · asked by Frank 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If u still care abt him, you would not wan him to face the emotional trauma, even if it is an eventual event, you should wait for the right time, probably after he gets hold of himself and started to realise that this marriage isn't working for both of you. No one would wanna be branded as the heartless ***** who caused her husbands suicide. That may be exaggerating, but a friend of mine had a dad who killed himself cos he coundn't face the trauma. But his is a case of cheating wife.
So since he is having issues, and i dont see any rush, with the info you provided, you should wait. Normally it would be ASAP.
Anyway, i see that many female answered you question saying that u should tell him straight away. So women are not sensitive creatures after all huh?
2007-01-24 04:51:10 · answer #1 · answered by Christopher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a question. I have strong morals and beliefs regarding such a question, and let me tell you that I feel the only grounds for divorce is adultery. Others feel very differently about this, but the Bible has it like this as plain as day. The Bible also establishes that husband and wife should not seperate unless it has been agreed upon by both, not one leaving because he/she is hurt. Your husband, if he left for the given reasons, needs some emotional assistance and you are the person for that job, mostly because you likely know him more than any other person. Get ahold of him, try and get him home, try and comfort him, maybe even group counseling would help? Best of luck and love to you.
2007-01-24 04:45:14 · answer #2 · answered by jlb2043 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with goldensparkler on this one. File for divorce. Let your attorney do the dirty work. That is what you pay them for. There is little to nothing to be gained in doing it yourself at this point, and you need to protect yourself from possible manipulation. Based on the information you provide here, you are doing the right thing. He left you. You didn't leave him. If he is going through a hard time now, then that is his problem. Be nice. Be sympathetic. But don't delay the divorce on his account. That will only cause you further complications later, and it is not your responsibility. Good luck!
2007-01-24 04:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say meet in person if at all possible.
If not, I would say to go ahead in your next phone call - "do your homework" regarding details, his possible responses, etc. Anticipate, and prepare. Stay strong and don't let the conversation devolve into pleading, blame-casting, arguing, rehashing the past, etc. No long explanation is needed, and it probably won't be helpful. "I wish you well, but things are not working out" would be best. Be businesslike - sounds cold, but if you have made your decision then it is the best thing for both of you.
A more blunt person would say "do it like removing a band-aid - quickly and decisively!"
Good luck.
2007-01-24 04:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immediately, you may as well give him the bad news while he is already depressed. If his moods spike up and then he receives the bad news from you, the results on his emotions could be too difficult. Kind of like if you're cold and you shove hot water down someone's throat.
Plus it is not good for you to be placed in a state of limbo as if you are more irrelevant than someone's depression. To me, your husband seems selfish by making you 2nd to his problems.
2007-01-24 04:43:45 · answer #5 · answered by Tones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get a lawyer and file for a divorce at any time. Your lawyer will then have him served with the divorce papers. If your sure this is what you want then you don't have to even talk to your husband. Your lawyer will take care of everything. Good Luck
2007-01-24 04:46:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely wait until after your anniversay. Certainly, he must realize that a marriage can't work with him living in another state. But, if he is in a depressed state of mind, maybe he isn't thinking clearly. In any case, it would be awful to be told around your anniversay, especially for someone already depressed. I hope he gets some help for his depression.
2007-01-24 04:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime is good. There is a word for what he has done to you and it's called abandonment. At his best he is selfish, and he just wants to keep you on a string. What a sweet lady you are to consider his feelings after what he has done to you. You deserve better.
2007-01-24 04:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After you speak to an attorney and protect your assets and credit. It may sound cold but you need to look out for yourself once you decide you're no longer a viable couple.
2007-01-24 04:42:07 · answer #9 · answered by SA Writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are really serious about the divorce, and there are no kids, property or money involved, just file for it under the grounds of abandonment!
2007-01-24 04:43:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋