My husband has this friend and he wants nothing to do with me or the three kids we have. In fact, the only time he'll get together with my husband is when it's just the two of them because his ex-wife didn't like me either. He doesn't ever talk about the kids or me and has never said one word to them. In fact, he came to the birthday party of our first child and just dropped off a large gift card - hugged my husband and left without so much as blinking an eye at me or the kids. What is the deal with this guy? We now have a 4 week old baby and he's asking my husband to spend an entire fun day together with him - like okay so I'm supposed ot take care of the 3 year old, 1 year old and newborn like since when do I get a day off - the house is a mess - is it really being unreasonable to hope that my husband would not want to go? I mean - they only see each other a couple of times a year but all things considered - he's also divorced now but my husband isn't free and single.
2007-01-24 04:23:32 · 10 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In fact, this guy doesn't ever mention us or ask how we're doing - he acts like my husband is 100% his own person - like they're single whenever they are together. Like he has no clue what it means to be committed to children. He will not even step foot in our home. He'll only get together with my husband when it's something he planned to do - if my husband comes up with an idea - he won't do it. He'll only get together with my husband if it's an all day event for the two of them. Seems like something's wrong here but I'm left in the dark - can anyone fill me in?
2007-01-24 04:25:59 · update #1
It sounds to me like your husband's friend is scared of children. Some people are. I think that you need to just relax and accept that.
It is unreasonable for you to expect your husband not to want to hang out with his friend, but it is not unreasonable for you to ask him not to anyway. I bet you do things you don't want to do or don't do things you do want to for your husband and family. We don't always get what we want. That doesn't mean we want wrong things, just that the timing is bad sometimes.
As to you getting a day off, I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask for a day off from time to time. My wife gets at least one day off a month, and I try to make it once a week.
2007-01-24 04:36:40 · answer #1 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is why would your husband want to be friends with this guy? He sounds like a selfish friend if he doesn't want to do things your hubby sugests.
But as to the other stuff, he's your hubby's friend so if he doesn't like you is it really a big deal? My husband has friends I don't like and that don't like me but they're his friends not mine. (And as someone else suggested, could his friend be gay? Not saying your hubby could be but the friend could be jealous of you if he's attracted to your hubby) I tolerate them if they come over but generally we try to avoid each other. You said that they only see each other a couple of times a year so I can understand if they want to make it a whole day thing, now if it was a weekly or even a monthly thing I might be a little upset.
And as a mother of 3 I can understand you feeling overwelmed and needing a "day off" every mother does. So why not tell your husband the kids are yours for the day or hire a sitter and go out with your friends for awhile to go shopping or a movie. Better yet hire the sitter (or ask a friend or relative) to watch the kids and you and your husband go out.
2007-01-24 04:50:26 · answer #2 · answered by Troubled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This "friend" your husband has is disrespecting you and your kids- your family basically. Your husband should recognize this and stop it. This is not a true friend. You should sit down and have a calm talk with him- tell him how you feel. If he doesnt respond to it... then these are the cards you were dealt and its up to you what to do about it. It is your husbands fault that he's letting this guy treat you this way. Your husband could stop it(meaning his friend starts showing respect- or he's done with him). What a jerk that guy is... you know, he is probably just jealous.... and misery loves company- so hes tryin to cause trouble in your marriage. Stay strong... put your foot down! How dare this man disrespect you right?!
2007-01-24 04:39:49 · answer #3 · answered by skygirlchristine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to try talking this over with your husband as soon as possible and let him know how you feel. If he still continues this relationship with his friend and do what he wants while your at home with the kids, then give him an ultimatum, you or the friend! You don't deserve this and his friend is a real piece of work. Not hard to see what the friend now has an "ex"! Good Luck
2007-01-24 04:36:39 · answer #4 · answered by Lace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
properly particularly speaking, confident . however the respond continues to be subjective. For which you need to answer particular ques to your self: a million) Do you experience insecure approximately him and think of of loosing him incase you experience which you will spill some grimy secret? 2) Do you have confidence him and and experience him and your self as a single sole? 3) waiting for being honest? (It does no longer propose brute honest, somethings are shared in diplomatic way too) 4) What are the inspiration of relationship: money, have confidence, know, love ? 5) How lots gentle he's, i propose if he feels indignant oftentimes and feels harm, that's going to be counter effective. For being a real buddy and a husband, you need to settle for the spouse the two as a factor of your self and additionally a guy or woman who has her emotional , psychological and actual needs and suitable to call for and shelter them and to work out her and know her as a guy or woman complementing and enriching yourlife and deserving equivalent know too. If above factors are lacking, i wont propose you to go forward. Do study the e book: adult males from Mars and girls from Venus
2016-12-12 19:19:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brokeback Mountain?
Its a couple of times a year? Sounds like you are the jealous one.
Is it possible the friend just does not like you because it sure sounds like you are carrying a big chip on the shoulder for him.
Maybe you should lighten up. You could have cleaned two rooms in the time it took for this question.
2007-01-24 04:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband isn't mature enough to stand up to this guy and say "hey man, I have a family,if you can't accept them, I don't accept you."
Your husband needs to grow up. You need to put the blame on your husband, not the other guy.
2007-01-24 04:30:05 · answer #7 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the friend is trying to get your husband to himself (romantic way). He's jealous of you.
2007-01-24 04:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to offend, or make a joke, but could they be lovers secretly?
2007-01-24 04:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by Ydua R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he was a true best friend he wouldnt be acting like he probably be gay
2007-01-24 04:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by shundra m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋