I'm leaving my husband for another man?

Question

What is the best thing to tell him? Should I tell him about the other man, or would that only hurt him more?

Answer 1

Just LEAVE. Avoid all the DRAMA.

Answer 2

This means you have been having an affair for a while, so you've already comited to this Guy. When my wife cheated on me she had been having the affair for about a year. I found out i was paying her cell bill to this guy and buying his lunch when she was a work. It hurt, it pissed me off, and has pretty much ruined my life and the way I feel about women. So nice job there.
If you give a crap at all about your husband you'll just tell him you are no longer happy and want to make a clean break. never ever let him know you were cheating, because the hurt goes on forever. I spoils everything, and makes him question his entire time with you. End it clean with your husband. Don't tell him ever. Just end it.

Answer 3

This is a husband and not a boyfriend. You were married, with a commitment. You certainly cannot jump from one marriage to another like you are changing underwear. Marriages end in divorce.

You need to properly sit down with him and be bold and explain the reasons, and the latest situation in your affair. You have to take full responsibility of the situation which means that you have to tell your husband that it's because of you and not him, that the marriage is ending. Give him the reasons and tell him you are going to file for divorce because of those reason. Forget about telling him of you new relationship. That is none of his business. Get the proper divorce sweetheart and then move on.

That's the only way you will go with a clear consious.

Answer 4

Can there really be a best way to tell him this? Seriously, there is no good way of going about it.

Doc's answer about oral sex, while it would lessen the initial blow(pun intended), it is still going to hurt.

And, this new man is ok with being the rebound? Plus, does he really trust someone who will leave their husband, after(assuming) you have been having an affair? Also, do you really trust a man who would run around with a married woman?

Again, for all those against gay marriage( I am not gay by the way) because the sanctity of marriage needs to be protected, this is evidence exhibit 23388. The sanctity of marriage isn't even being protected by those who enjoy the right to be married.

Answer 5

Well, your sleeping around on him. That would probably hurt anyone. Picture yourself in this position with the "other man"
being the one doing the leaving(which could come in handy, karma being what it is and all), how would you want to be told?
I would probably just be straight with him and tell the truth, he'll feel alot better about you leaving once he knows he should never have put his trust in a woman of your low quality.

Answer 6

Well-- why are you with the other man? There must have been something wrong with your marriage for you to go with someone else, right? I would be honest about that first and then tell him about the other man if you want. I would focus on the marriage problems or else he will just blame the other guy for the breakup rather than the problems within the marriage.

Answer 7

If you are leaving your husband do it , but I recommend you not to tell him about your new lover, you never know if things are going to work out with your new man, who knows you might want to go back with your husband in the future. When you're dating someone new the first 6 months is happiness and you feel you want to be with that person for the rest of your life, but once you get to know that person you wish you have never met that person.

So if you want to leave your husband because you want to be single do it, but if is for another man think about it twice before making any drastic decisions you might feel sorry for the rest of your life. Good luck with any decision you make!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

there is really no way of telling him without hurt. but it is more painful to tell someone u are leaving because of someone else, shows also that u were cheating on him. maybe it is best if u want to remain friends to just say u want out of the marriage. if u mention the other man u will reveal that maybe u weren't so honest during the marriage.

Answer 9

Is this other man married? If yes, don't leave for him. If no, then go for it! Tell your husband only if he asks but also know it will eventually come out in the end.

Answer 10

are you sure this is what you want to do?

how long have you been married?

how long have you been involved with the other man?

do you have any children?

what prompted you to get involved with the other man? Infidelity by your husband? physical abuse by your husband? financial issues? was your husband not a good provider?

I mean these are all considerations. The biggest factor I think is whether or not you believe things are going to work out with the other man. If you think you may eventually want to get back with your husband, then do not tell him about the other man.

Think about it long and hard.

Answer 11

Do not tell him. Absolutely not. If the marriage is over, and you have decided it is, you must play it close to the vest. You would only be telling him out of a selfish desire to unburden yourself with the knowledge of your infidelity. You must simply tell him that you no longer love him and you want a divorce. The fact is you would not have cheated on him in the first place if you were still in love with your husband. This should be the focus of the conversation. Not the other man.