My oldest daughter is almost 32 and the youngest is 22. I have 8 adult children and 16 grandchildren, the oldest 17 the youngest 2 mos. My 32 yr. old is ok with it I haven't spoken to the others yet but there was one request my 32 yr.old has is to pls not have another child but that's precisely why I also love this woman she can bare me another baby and my youngest child the 22 yr. old daughter isn't at all happy with any of it. My GF's answer depends on my children and I'm frightened to death. Pls. only serious answers, thanks.
2007-01-24 03:49:02 · 17 answers · asked by papabeartex 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, it's a little inappropriate for your children to request that you not have another child. That's entirely up to you and your girlfriend.
That aside, why do you want to have children? Is it because you want them or because you both want them? Would you still love her as much if she couldn't have children? You have to be prepared not to have the support of your children and how they might treat the child you want to have. Secondly, are you prepared to go through another rotation of diapers, adolescence and financing a college education? As you get older, how will the dynamic be between your child and your older children? Will that child be vetoed on any decisions regarding your care and comfort? Will his/her mere presence be resented by the family?
I don't want to burst your bubble or discourage you from marrying your girlfriend, I'm just asking you to:
1. Think long and hard about WHY you want a child
2. Ask yourself if love your girlfriend enough to marry her independent of her having children
3. If you are prepared to deal with the worst case scenarios with your adult children if you choose to have a child
Only you know the answers to these questions. Parenting, as you know, is difficult under the best of circumstances. Be realistic and rational in your thought process.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-24 04:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think 8 children is enough for you. You sound like you the out of nest syndrome. I would say there is nothing wrong with a 51 year old marrying a 30 year old but I would not be planning on having children unless that's something the 30 year old wants. I understand why your 22 year old is not happy. After all she has been the baby for 22 yrs and it's kind of embarrassing to her that her father is still making babies. But maybe in time she will get use to the idea especially if you insist on having more babies. Remember you are 51 and this little one will need for you to be around to provide for them. So keep that in mind in light of your age.
2007-01-24 04:18:09 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-09-27 22:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by riopel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only problem I see is that your girlfriend is basing everything on having children. No one should enter marriage if everything depends on it. My wife of 20 years was never able to have children, and we are still happy because there was a lot more to our marriage than having children. That should send up a red flag to you. It sounds as though her only reason to marry you is for you to father children. When your child graduates from hight school you would be over 70. Will this woman still want you if you've fathered her baby?
2007-01-24 03:57:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You seem to have done pretty good up to now. Why should the opinion of your adult children have anything to do with your decision? Do you live with any of them? If you are in love and want to form a life with this woman, why shouldn't you? As long as your kids don't support you economically there is no reason why you shouldn't just listen to your heart!
2007-01-24 03:55:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first off ur children r not babies anymore. They live there own life so y can't u. They should just give u ur blessings and wish u the best. One thing 4 sure is that i do hope she does love u.
2007-01-24 03:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by Baby Gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with that, you both are mature adults and can decide for yourselves.
Its nice that you want to respect your childrens opinions, but that is your choice to make, who you want to marry or not.
If you both decide you want to have children, than go for it, I dont think it is necessary for your children to decide if you guys should have children or not.
Your children should respect your wishes and go with whatever makes you happy.
Talk with your girlfriend and decide what you guys want to do, and just take it from there.
Good luck!
2007-01-24 06:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to start a new life with a young wife and new baby then go for it. I mean, it HELPS if they all like her and such, but you're in love. Are you gonna let their opinions of your life keep you from that happiness?
2007-01-24 03:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by Nasubi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get married if you want, but you are too old (and you know it) to be fathering children. Such desires to father another child is only an ego-boosting move to serve your own ego..
2007-01-24 04:06:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you are both in love and age doesn't matter YES. There's
quite an age difference between my Wife and I.
2007-01-24 04:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by Williamstown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋