some people take whatever a person dishes out to save the marriage..some people give up for really dumb reasons..for you--when is it time to call it quits?
2007-01-24 03:41:50 · 15 answers · asked by Frank 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd say when you have a very strong, consistent "this is the wrong person to spend the rest of my life with" feeling that cannot be resolved. No matter what the "problem", if you at least feel a connection with that person and a rightness about being with them, it can work if you try hard enough. But if you feel like you made a mistake by marrying the wrong person for yourself, there's no need to share the same bedroom with that person for the rest of your entire life just to make a judgemental society happy.
2007-01-24 04:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by Bzl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question always kills me. How bad do you have to let it get before you do something to help it should be the question. I believe people change. But we came into the relationship to spend the rest of our lives together through better or worse, well now it is worse and you want to run ?? NO !! This is someone you fell in love with. Did you try to change him?? Hope not and hope he not you. The last straw for me is a cheating spouse. Of all other things that part of the relationship is something the should be cherished and never destroyed at all cost. Once that happens then there is nothing left sacrid and is cause for dismissal, but only if you can't get by it and YOU feel it cannot be resolved. Fall in love again, with the person you first fell in love with and help them get back to themselves and you also. Be good for both to help each other out, that's what we wanted to do to begin with .......... right ??
2007-01-24 03:52:02 · answer #2 · answered by ludwigkicker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an epiphany when I knew it was time to end my marriage. I was at my best friends wedding and her parents (after 27 yrs of marriage) kissed in the foyer and she kicked up her heal as they kissed. I looked at my best friend and told her that "that is what my marriage is missing". I went home and told my husband that I didn't love him anymore. And I filed for divorce that week, and I never looked back. It was more than that, but that was the light bulb moment for me, that my marriage was not going to be any different and I needed to step up and decide that I was not going to live like that anymore. I was just tired of coming home and not being happy, ever. Now I am re-married to a wonderful man and I do not regret my decision at all. For each of us that time is different and you will know when you reach that point. If you are asking for yourself, you already know the answer. Good luck.
2007-01-24 04:02:03 · answer #3 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly . . . there is no magical answer to that question. It really depends on the two people and the compatibility. Since every relationship is different the circumstances to end one are just as different. What may be minor to you may be a major issue for another couple. The best I can say is that you knew when it was time to marry this person, so you will also know when it is no longer a good/healthy thing for you to remain in.
2007-01-24 03:48:00 · answer #4 · answered by TXVyper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say that taking what a person dishes out is not a good approach to saving a marriage. waiting for it to get worse is not a good way. the way to preserve it is to address the problems.
improve communications skills (and don't just decide it's your spouse that has all the problems). I would call it quits after i had invested all reasonable efforts and skills in trying to change myself to change the situation.
2007-01-24 03:46:00 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The final straw for me was, when my ex-husband became verbally and physically abusive toward's me in front of our then two year old son. I had no doubt in my mind that I had to get out. My son and I both deserve better than that and also, my little boy will some day become someone else's husband and for him to have a happy, well rounded relationship, he needed a good role model.
I am now in a wonderful relationship with a man who adores my son and my son adores him. For the first time in my little man's life, he has seen me treated with a great deal of love and respect...now he show's it to me as well. I know I have a good man in my life who will be the role model my child deserves.
2007-01-24 04:06:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If marriage is respect, admiration, passion and trust, (the four biggies) when the trust goes, the first two also are eroding into the toilet, and passion then isn't much.... you can find a boinking buddy anywhere. Betrayal is the ultimate deal-buster in a marriage... almost everything else is negotiable
Helpful?
2007-01-24 03:46:10 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I called it quits when he threw a pair of scissors at me, and then got committed to the mental ward for a week.
Everyone has their own limits, I went beyond mine out of the ill-guided notion that being a divorced person was 'bad'.
When you've truly had enough, you will do what is necessary.
2007-01-24 03:49:37 · answer #8 · answered by o b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you've tried it all, all the talking, all the counseling, all the praying, and nothing has changed, and nothing is going to change, and you are both miserable, and the kids are suffering, and you're about to drink again after being sober for years, and you know deep down inside that it's a choice between life and death.
Then you leave. At least I did.
2007-01-24 09:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I remember right, in Missouri, it's not even a judge's decision, it's required before you are granted the divorce.
2016-05-24 04:21:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋