My boyfriend gave me an ultimatim that if I don't marry him by March, he is leaving me. I care for him, he is wonderful to me but his 16 year old daughter really doesn't like me and his ex-wife is still very dependent on him. She calls him for everything, doesn't work and when she sees me she always curses me and calls me names. There are other issues also. He is a good man, has a good job, a home, etc. but I am scared to commit myself to only one man. What do you think?
2007-01-24 03:10:06 · 15 answers · asked by Tiny little hot one 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you just gave yourself the answer...you said you cant commit to just one man.....
2007-01-24 03:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by crystal b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough one. I believe that if you have doubts about marrying him, then that should be the first signal to you that perhaps you're not ready. Such life altering decisions should not be made with such force, lead alone an ultimatum. Keep in mind as well when you marry this gentlemen, you not only accept him, you accept all the so-called "baggage" that comes along with him, ex included. It seems that there are many issues that need to be worked out before marriage as this may not be a good foundation to start upon. Do some soul searching and find out if this "life" is what you want for yourself. But may I suggest before you take the plunge (if so) that you and your boyfriend work out these problems because if you don't now, it may be much harder later, if possible. Good Luck and listen to your intuition.
2007-01-24 11:27:13 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you must consider your options,because you're totally worth it.and if the guy really wants you,then he should wait till your ready.don't get into any commitment because your partner is in a haste.then you have to make the firm decision of letting it go. on the other hand don't you think the constant nag of his daughter and wife will make your life miserable.i mean bare so much just for a man? this is the time you have to think with your head. this one is tricky and all im saying is don't commit yourself in a haste and keep your options open. make your future bright.not where your constantly surrounded with bad energy.okie.
2007-01-24 11:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by spin spin sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it will never work. The man has to put his daughter first. And any parent who doesn't do that is not a good parent. I have seen this happen to my best friend. She dated the same guy for 11 years. She really wanted to wait for her kids to be grown to understand that she was going to re-marry. Her kids never liked him. So when she did get married they were 14 and 15. Marriage lasted 1 yr. Her kids just made their lives unbearable and she had to put her kids first. It just won't work if his daughter doesn't like you.
2007-01-24 11:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your scared to commit yourself then maybe your not ready to marry him and maybe you should be alone for a while to figure out what you want but on the other hand maybe your afraid to commit because of his daughter and ex-wife. You need to think about why your afraid to commit and if its because of his daughter and ex then you need to talk with your boyfriend about your feelings.
2007-01-24 11:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by valerie_lynn82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he shouldn't have to pressure you to get married of you have that nagging feeling along with the drama of his ex and daughter, being a nice guy and makes great money will not be enough
I think your relationship has gone as far as it can..
I have a feeling he will marry the first person that will marry him, if you break up because you just don't feel like its the thing to do , he will be married in less than a year, I know from personal experience
2007-01-24 13:08:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Committing yourself to one man is not the problem. Your present boyfriend is the problem. He is not for you at this point in time, unless you like OPP (other people problems). It seems to me that the only good things he will bring to the marriage is his job and his house. The ex-wife, bad child along with .. as you wrote... "other issues". Stop looking with your heart and look with you eyes and ears.
2007-01-24 11:19:01 · answer #7 · answered by mllttsmn2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he is putting that much pressure on you to marry him, there's something wrong. If he loved you, he should accept that the two of you have all the time in the world. If you need time to consider it, he should respect that. Do not jump into something like that if you are having doubts. You have to be yourself, and don't let him pressure you into anything. There are other, more understanding, less controlling men out there. Good luck, and stay true to yourself!
2007-01-24 11:15:06 · answer #8 · answered by Celestite 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, did u tell him about what u think???tell him about how u feel and what u'r scared of! tell him not to give u ultimatum as if you will never find another man in your whole life! but all I can say is that from what u'r saying about his daughter & ex wife that is a tough thing to get into.. thats' what happened to my friend and now they are divorced!!! but before u marry him why dont u tell him your concern before it's too late! youc an always find someone better!
2007-01-24 11:15:58 · answer #9 · answered by irel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say marry him. of course his ex hates you she see you as competition to what she wants to have. Try marriage, but if you really want to be single then take that road and lose a good man
2007-01-24 11:26:03 · answer #10 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know about all the "issues" going on. I'm sure if you are honest with him as to why you're not ready, he will understand.
Also, how long have you been dating? That makes a difference too.
2007-01-24 11:14:40 · answer #11 · answered by Mommy of 3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋