Not moving into their place or mine, but finding a home together. Take into consideration there are kids involved who are not ours together.
2007-01-24 02:40:31 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Kids involved? Six months to a year.
The kids need to know that you, or your new love interest, are planning on being together permanently and making a home together. They need to get used to you being around and that you're not just another boyfriend/girlfriend looking to sleep with their mom/dad, but that you want to make a home with their parent AND them.
I'm guessing that you ahve already spent the night, so they've seen in first thing in the AM? this is actually a good thing, move some of your things into their home-toothbrush, shaving equipment, clothes, not a lot, just enough that they get used to being around. Now do things with the kids. Have a 'family' night where you order in pizza and rent movies-letting them select them films. Take them out to dinner, to a movie, skating, or something. Make sure that their parent knows that you will be disciplining them if they act up, not physically but correcting them, sending them to their room, etc. and that she /he has to back you up. Any seevre punishment should be discussed and let the parent handle it.
Take them with you to find a place, let them choose their rooms and the move-in will go fairly smooth. But make sure that you are in this for the long haul, yes things might not work out, but if you go into this with an attitude towards the kids, that you don't want to have anythign to do with them, they will pick up on it and make this arrangement a living hell until one or both of you snap and they'll be sitting back grinning about the power they have!
Good luck!
2007-01-24 02:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by Survivors Ready? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
finding a home together should only be done after marriage! There was a question asked her recently about who got the house when a couple broke up because the house was not in the name of the person who had been making all the payments and there was a lot of conflict there. A commitment should be made to each other before investing that much into a relationship and that is only done by marriage, and sometimes even that is not enough if the two are not right for each other and marry too fast.
2007-01-24 03:20:55 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you are totally positive that this is someone you want to be with for a very long time. The most important thing is how would the kids handle it emotionally if you lived together then broke up in just a few years. This happened to me. I broke up with my ex about a year and a half ago and even though my son (6yrs old) didn't like the guy much while we were together, he still talks fondly about him all the time. I think it really bothers him sometimes and I feel bad that I put my son in that situation.
2007-01-24 02:45:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you should really know someone before taking steps that concern children. My husband moved into my apartment 1 month after we met. It was like we had known each other forever. Neither one of us was looking for a relationship either at the time because we both have kids. 4 in all. We got a place of our own 2 months later, and married 7 months later. Good Luck!!
2007-01-24 02:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big question. I'm not sure the age of the kids, but I'm sure their comfort level is your top priority. I would honestly wait for at least a year, then having weekend trips where the kids can camp out at the other's person's place with their parent. Allowing the children to ease into your relationship will surely make things much easier in the long run.
2007-01-24 02:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by greenfrogthing77 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when you live with someone you see there habits and "true colors"
so before you make a huge decision you should think about your kids because like some people may have said below kids are usually molested by their mom's new boo or boyfriend. but would say 3-5 years. it seems like a long time but thats why you don't see celebrities actually last
2007-01-24 09:46:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since there are kids I would wait, until you both truly felt it was the right move. Because if you have a strong relationship with the kids and something happens where y'all have to move, the kids would be the ones who get hurt the most. Think about their feelings too.
2007-01-24 03:26:37 · answer #7 · answered by Leese 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have spent plenty of time in "living together" type situations (i.e. staying at eachothers place). If you are confident that everyone will gel reasonably well. I would say a couple of years would suffice. If you both have children I would assume you are both past the "finding youself" phases and are ready to be settled. That is key. Good luck.
2007-01-24 02:48:43 · answer #8 · answered by Kimberly R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do take the kids' emotions into consideration. Kids are very resiliant, but they can also become attached to others quickly. Be sure that this is right for everyone involved.
2007-01-24 02:47:28 · answer #9 · answered by Duckie314 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
11 years
2007-01-24 02:43:14 · answer #10 · answered by kristonianinstitution 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋