how can i stop feeling lonely?

Question

I feel lonely even when im with friends and family and panic about weekends / evenings on my own. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do to combat this?

thanks for all the help. i live on my own, work very hard at something i love, cant get a pet as not fair on the pet. and really my family and friends are great but I still feel this lonliness and worry about being lonely. even at the gymn i feel very alone even though im surrounded by people

Answer 1

ji

I understand your feelings. Maybe you are suffering from depression, and should go see a doctor, who can help with therapy and or medicication. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

If that is not the case: then maybe you just need to stay more busy! Volunteer, do something good for others. I am sure it will lift your spirits.

Talk to someone about it. Sometimes to get these feelings out in the open and off your chest is half the battle.

Best of luck my friend

Answer 2

There are some really excellent answers to your question here. Queenbee and Jimbo are offering great advice.

There are a few reasons why you're feeling like this. But basically, something is missing in your life and this is causing a feeling of un-fulfilment and even feelings of depression.

I guess you need to discover what's missing. It could be a lack of self worth and you feel uncomfortable in your own company, therefore leading to a feeling that you're not adding much too social gatherings. So feelings of "If I don't like me, how can anyone else?"

It could be your career doesn't challenge you or make you feel good about the results of your effort. Some people like to feel they're making a difference in an ethical way or a way that benefits others, rather than just get paid.

I think you need to invest time in yourself. Start to appreciate you as a person and try to think about the goals you have in your life. We all need to feel a self worth and have some type of challenge in life.

If this feels difficult, you might need to see a professional counsellor and let them help you explore your real feelings. It'll unblock the mental barriers you have.

The great thing is - you recognise something's not right and made the first move towards resolution.

Good luck - I really hope you combat this soon. I'm sure you will.

Answer 3

There are many things you can do. Get busy...seriously. You have too much time on your hands to think about being lonely...and it can get depressing. You can see a therapist who is going to give antidepressants and spend lots of money for something you'll have to have for life because you are not dealing with the underlying problem. You need to build your confidence for starters. So get involved in something, by helping people...this helps make you feel better about yourself...helping someone who is less fortunate. I used to get lonely all the time... I found out that I have to be creative with my time...such as exercise, write God even though I know he is right there. Brush up on your math or english. Read a book. Find something constructive to do. Have you taken yourself on a date lately. Smile the world is not coming to an end...well at least yet anyway. The point is to stop your mind from thinking about being lonely. So when in doubt know that God is right there, and looking at the world today... I'd say he feels just as lonely as you...talk to him. Learn to enjoy your alone time learn to enjoy you(if you don't enjoy yourself you can't expect others to)...if that doesn't help get a job working with the public...they will eventually have you begging for alone time. My other idea would be to have few kids if nothing else makes you enjoy your alone time this will( I can't go to the bathroom with out a child standing at the door hollering "MOM"...lol.Learn to laugh at life, because if you can't laugh at how stupid some things are well you'll never learn to...now if you'd like I could charge you say $150 for the advise and we'll schedule you another appointment next week (now your's and mine problems are solved) ...or you can find something better to do with your time and money. Hope this helped...and if not well you are not really out any money...and there is still time to see a therapist. Good Luck and feel free to e-mail me if you need more smiles...or someone to email in time of need.

Answer 4

Usually it's because people often ignore and conform their own desires to that of the company they keep so that they don't have to be alone... and negate their own likes and feelings about things to be able to fit into a social standard, group of peers or blend in with a family unit.

If the people in your life are not challenging you emotionally, mentally physically, artistically or spiritually then naturally they will make you bored. If you're bored with yourself... You're not being you!

Sounds like you're just growing out of a phase in your life but for some reason still holding on for dear life to something or someone that you just don't need anymore...

Boredom comes as a result of complacency of mind or condition.

Find new people to hang out with...Watch how fast your so called "friends" find fault with you and all the love goes down the tubes...

"Any experiment in life that is worthwhile will be carried out at your own expense." Sir john Wilmot.

Answer 5

Loneliness is a state of mind. As you say, you are lonely even when with friends. Yet, a hermit monk can live in solitary for years without feeling lonely. Perhaps your friends dont have the same interests as you, in which case you need to think about what YOU really want to do with yourself. Do things that you enjoy and you might find people who have more in common with you. One can only grow within from being alone-- it teaches us about ourselves and helps to appreciate people more when they are around us. Embrace this feeling, dont run from it. You can learn a lot. When you are lonely, you find out who you really are, and after some time, you can actually enjoy being alone. Solitude brings wisdom.

Answer 6

You sound like an intelligent person. I wonder if you're really doing what you want in life. Perhaps it's really because you don't feel you belong where you are or with the people you're with? Perhaps you need some psychological/spiritual counselling to get to the bottom of this. It could be depression too. You don't have to have a rotten life to get depressed, there are physiological causes too. Get some professional help before it gets worse. You have to know what the problem is exactly before you can 'combat' it.

Answer 7

I used to feel the same way and nothing could break me from it until I did the below.

Stopped getting up with the same routine every day. Started going to different places than the ones I have been to. Going out with friends but doing something different.

If you break trends that your brain creates like walking home the same way everyday or smoking a cigarette in the same place at a certain time, you will break free.

Answer 8

I agree with other suggestions that you may be suffering from depression. Do you find it hard to relate to people or do you fear that if you invest your emotions in them that they will abandon you? Do you like yourself as a person and feel worthy of the attention of others?

I'm trying to get you to analyse your feelings a little more deeply. We feel lonely for different reasons. Sometimes we are afraid that those who love us will leave us, particularly if this has happened in the past, and thus we don't get involved with people we're with. This can leave us feeling lonely because we want to join in with others and belong but we are afraid to. Alternatively, when you suffer from depression you have low self-esteem and may feel you don't deserve the attention of others. If you generally feel bad about yourself, get tearful, pessimistic and have difficulty with sleep and appetite, you may well be clinically depressed and should seek a doctor's advice as soon as possible.

Human beings are social creatures. From our earliest moments we learn to understand ourselves by watching and imitating others. We create our very identity from our associations with groups of others. There is no greater influence than that of our peers. Feeling isolated can have a profound psychological effect. Occasionally, we can lose our sense of self in others and become dependent on friends and families for amusement and emotional support. Try dedicating some time simply to yourself. Think about things you like about who you are and remember that you are an individual, capable of standing on your own two feet. Take yourself out to a restaurant with a good book, or to the cinema. As you get used to being alone, you will lose your fear of it. Once you have more confidence in yourself, re-evaluate your relationships with others. Perhaps discuss how you feel with your friends and plan something you can feel included in. Alternatively, take up a hobby that gets you mixing with like-minded people. If you still feel lonely, avail yourself of the numerous chat rooms and online games on the Internet. It's a great way of meeting new friends. You don't have to be alone in the 21st Century!

Good luck!

Answer 9

Doesn't sound like you like yourself too much at the moment. Could be a bit of depression. Are you under stress? Unhappy? Can you talk this over with a partner/best friend/family member?
Might be worth a trip to your doctor just for a chat...

Answer 10

you are not alone. many people feel the same way.

to use your heart to feel people, and believe in people. there is muhc nice thing you can do, and if you help others, you automatically to feel wonderful and better too.

you should find something you are passionate on, and go for it. give a big hand to others, and you will get a smile for your heart.