how do you build up self confidence?

Question

I have low self esteem through a long term relationship. I feel other people have better lives than me, better social lifes, friends etc. Im petrified of being on my own and I think I have anxiety issues

Answer 1

F*** the namby, pamby "tell yourself good things every day." The way you build self-confidence is through success. Find something easy, that you can accomplish, and do it. Tomorrow, find something a little harder and accomplish it. Keep tackling bigger and harder tasks until you KNOW you do anything. If you find you can't do something, that's OK. Modify what you are doing, practice, and do it again. And again. And again. Until you succeed. Then do something harder.

You have anxiety issues about being alone? Fine, be alone for an afternoon. Find something to do BY YOURSELF for 3 hours. Then try an evening out by yourself. Find someone you find attractive and ask him or her out. No luck? Ask someone else out. No pressure, no problems. Once or twice, then try someone else. Try a weekend trip by yourself and meet and talk to strangers. Bingo - you're cured!

Answer 2

here's my suggestion:
for once, STOP thinking about it and concentrate on other things like your academic results or doing something that interests you, you can go out and have a long relaxing swim-believe me, it feels good(only if u know how to swim!!)-and yeah, don't feel lonely or anything cus you're not alone, everybody feels the same..once in their life time at least. If u are alone, read a book, funny fictional is the best ones. Count yourself lucky, at least you get to tell your problems here, some people doesn't even know this thing exists and they are hiding in their shell thinking no one can help them.
Do things that makes you and your family or friend happy. The happiness part has to include you too, remember..or else it won't work if u only do things for others happiness...give yourself respect and love, and never try to lie to yourself. As long as u keep lying to urself bout your confidence you'll go down..keep thinking u're good not bad...don't even add that "bad"..no negeative thoughts-but once in a while is okay..god this is long...anyway forget the past-what's been done is done, you cannot change it..you can change only what is to come..well you can only change the direction of what is to come anyway..if u belive in fate or god or whatever...go along with it..don;t be scared to fall into the flow...

Answer 3

Go easy on yourself. You say you used to be in a bad relationship; well now you're not so thats one positive thing you've done for yourself. It takes courage to strike out alone, and you did it.
Thats the best start you could have given yourself! See it as a start, a new beginning.
Make a list. write down everything you're good at and enjoy doing. These things boost your confidence.
Now make a second list of thing you don't feel so confident with.
See if you can transfer any skills from the first list to see if you can tackle anything on the second.
Deal with them one by one, bit by bit. You're not going to change everything you don't like in one day. Make it manageable. You've got the rest of your life to change those things.
And don't forget to pat yourself on the back when you do well or get something right. Don't focus on the negative, it doesn't help you solve problems.
Good luck!

Answer 4

Tll yourself you are beautiful everyday if you believe others will believe love yourself over all others because you are worth it and when you put you out in the world people will notice when you want them to.Enjoy the new journey your starting and make it interesting you only live once find out who you are and what you like and talk to new people if they dont respond there's millions more who will.Anxiety can be taken care of in lots of different ways talk to a doc and dont be so afraid of the great things life has in store 4 u.

Answer 5

you can build confident little by little. you can start to meet peopel from social work or things. you can join a class and meet new people, and you don't have to worry about too much.

you can move on, and believe in yourself that you can meet much nicer and better girl than your ex.

be happy and get a goal in life, so you can be successful. good luck too!

Answer 6

i have been through that ordeal before, but by God's grace, slowly overcoming that predicament of having low self-esteem...how? i remind myself that i am a child of God, i am special and loved. and that God does not make junk. therefore, i am not junk...i am made for a purpose...i may not really look like a supermodel...but hey! i can say i am attractive and charming...because i am made in His image and likeness...

you too...you can have that confidence, once you fully understood that you are loved and special no matter what! k? smile...you are a wonderful person...

God bless you

Answer 7

Honey, the sun couldn't set, or rise without my first boyfriend either being with me, or being in my every thought!! Until, we broke up, and then I went through exactly what your going through!!! It took me a good year, to enjoy life again!!! I honestly felt exactly like you!! The reason being, you've invested all of this time to your relationship, and now what? Its over, and your like what do I do with myself, how do I go here, or there, without feeling out of place!!! Or insecure, because the world around you, is still going round, and it seems to be doing it, without you, doesn't it? I had those same feelings!! Its emptiness, its his emptiness!! He used to fill that void, but now he's no longer there to fill it, so you carry this void, alone.... And it makes you feel as though everyone is better or has more, or is more important than you are!!! Well, guess what, I wish I'd had someone to talk to as you do here on yahoo, back in the 70s, when this happened to me!! I have just the perfect remedy for you hun!!! You have to go on with your life, and make "NEW memories!!!!" This is so important, in order to get on with your life, successfully!!!! Trust me on this one!!! You simply need to do anything to keep as busy as possible!! No matter what it takes!!! No matter what fears you have in doing so!!! And with each day, that you've made NEW memories, it'll be one less day of feeling the need to have that void filled !!! I dont recommend getting a new boyfriend either........he will simply only be on the "REBOUND" and he will only make you think of your other guy, anyway!! Not a good idea!! Just join a club, go to the movies, with friends , go to places with family , you've never gone to before, anything, but stay away from places, and music that reminds you of him, atleast until your over him, anyway!!! In fact stay away from anything that reminds you of him!!! So, you can regain your self esteem, and begin enjoying LIFE, on your terms, not his!!! You deserve to live as good a life as he does (Is), if not more so, especially if he broke your heart!!! Then you really deserve to enjoy it even more than he is!!! Get some hobbies going on, anything to get your mind off of feeling like you dont belong, you know!!! Because you do matter, whether your single, or not!!! YOU DO MATTER!!! And so do your feelings!!! And dont let anyone tell you any different!!! Go pamper yourself with a shopping trip, or get you one of those statue's you can paint and shalaque!!! Start writing poetry !!! That's how I vent when I'm down in the dumps!!! I write poetry, and have even entered it into a poetry contest....... Get out and start taking walks, with a friend, every morning....... And you make the suggestion in order to begin to build your self esteem back up!!! Have a party, to where you have to play games, like you make name tags of famous people and pin them on the backs of all of your friends, and they have to guess who you think they all look closest too!!! Oh, that one's a winner at Party's!!! Make some good dips, and hordevoirs!!! And trust me if none of your friends are drinkers you can still have this party, with Virgin cocktails!!! Start being a LEADER, around your friends, and think up things they never thought of, to do, you know!!! This is such a good way to build your self esteem up!!! Pretty soon they'll be "Complimenting you" and you will also be building new memories, before you know it, you will have washed that MAN, right out of your life, once and for all !!! Memories and all !!! Good luck hun, and hey "You have a Wonderful Day, for me!!!" Smile!!!! Life's too short, go make some new memories!!!!

Answer 8

Travel and seek adventures. You'll be amazed at your own ability to do new and different things.