Before i first moved in, he said he was a neat freak and likes working. After a few months, he was doing what he said. He had food stamps and he kept the room cleaned. We both did our part in keeping food in the dorm and kept the room cleaned. He was like the coolest roommate around.
Then a few months later after that, hell broke loose, but quietly. The food stamps stopped and he had to get new jobs. He started to put his whole checks into his car note, and none on food. He got into it with this girl sexual and now thats all he talks about. He starts to defend for himself and care more about himself. When I ask him for a ride to work because I'm a little late, or go somewhere important to me and not to him, ill even offer gas, and he would take his good o time and sit on the computer. Two hours go by, and I dont want to go anymore, but if its to buy food the crib, he's up and running in like a few seconds.
How can i tell him to go back to the old him or be back to normal?
2007-01-24 01:53:24 · 7 answers · asked by chris.porter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Also the worst things about him is that he will have sex with his girl in the room at 3 in the morning (we live in a studio). Now we get noise complaints all the time. I don't mind the sex as long as him/her is quiet, but she screams like if she's gettin stabbed.
Luckly, my job is down the street, but when I'm over my girl's house, which is a hour walk from my job, and its like 20 degrees outside, and I dont have any change, and there is no atm/store open at the time to get change, its hard to get to work on time at 9am.
He is usually up early and I usually ask him to pick me up. I usually give him 20 bux in gas, and in total, i gave him up to 200 bucks in gas in my whole life, and he just takes his time, even while i'm late, he would have sex wit his girl, while im waitin for him to show up to pick me up. Again with luck, i searched around the house picking up loose nickels, dimes, and quarters and get on the bus to get home. Thats just a recent example.
2007-01-24 02:16:54 · update #1
There's not much you can do except tell him how you feel--but don't do it in an accusatory way. Just say that these are some of the things you've noticed and it's been bothering you. If he hears you out and is receptive, great. If not, I'd say start by keeping things separate. Buy your own food and let him buy his, find someone else to bum rides off of or take the bus, keep any bills you have separate if possible. It sucks to have to do that, but it does avoid a lot of fights. Things with the girl will probably run their course and he might come back down to earth then. But in the meantime, just try to talk it out or keep to yourself.
2007-01-24 02:03:58 · answer #1 · answered by CrysV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to pick your battles here. Yes, it sucks that he used to be super-roomy and now he's just your typical selfish college d*ck, but you can't set out to change everything about him. You'll drive yourself crazy, and you'll fail.
I think the issues you have with him not pitching in for food and helping with the cleaning anymore are completely valid, and you should put your foot down on those. Tell him that if he expects to eat, he should expect to contribute to the food budget, and that you also expect him to pull his weight as far as keeping the room clean, and that if he doesn't, you'll be forced to look for a new rooming situation. Mean it, and stick to it if he doesn't follow through.
As far as getting yourself to work and such, though, that's really your own lookout. It would be nice if you could count on his help, but he's shown you that you can't, and so you should react accordingly and rely on yourself alone.
2007-01-24 10:04:56 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really hard when you have to live with someone who doesn't get you point of view. Its touchy, because often in the moment he doesn't realize he acting badly. I suggest you bring him for a drink (you offer to pay and he'll come) and then ever so gently bring up a plan thats fair for both of you
good luck
2007-01-24 09:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by glim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depend on yourself, forget about him, and his food stamps??? Think about you and your education!
2007-01-24 10:03:55 · answer #4 · answered by momof3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. People are like rivers: they only go forward.
2007-01-24 09:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by crispy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
walk up to him and put your hand on his cork-n-balls and say "we can't keep raw dogging it until you change."
2007-01-24 09:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by Loren H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new roomy.
2007-01-24 09:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by hambert40 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋