Anti-feminist?

Question

At the risk of getting a TON of hatemail...I am going to ask a question a friend of mine and I talk a lot about. We both have children and I stay home with mine. She works part-time to supplement their income, but would much rather stay home with her son. We sometimes discuss the fact that with so many women trying to be more like men, the few of us left who just want to be housewives or stay at home moms are actually being forced into the workplace. I talk to so many mothers who would rather be at home with their children but have to work just to pay the bills. Still others enjoy working and absolutely should have that right. However, somehow in the process, the women who still would have chosen to stay at home are losing OUR right to do so. With most of our nation being a two-income household, things are becoming more expensive because people can afford more. It's just a thought and I wondered if anybody else had perspective on our thoughts...

My husband and I made vows that we will stand by. Life insurance is for the "what if". It is sad how many people are planning on getting a divorce...

When I refer to women "being more like men"...it is a FACT that women are being more LIKE MEN! Not just in the workplace. Women/girls are in growing numbers are having one night stands, committing more crimes than men, joining the military, even swearing more than they ever used to. It takes away from our femmininity. I hear both men and women talk about their belief that women should be included in the draft, should we ever get to that point...what about RIGHT to be a traditional woman in a traditional family role??? It is my opinion that the underlying reasons for todays outrageous numbers of people murdering, stealing, cheating, and divorcing are stemming from a lack of attention, praise, discipline from MOTHERS. You can work, it's your right, but I am pointing out that there are large numbers of women who would rather stay home and raise their kids instead of letting an "institution" do it for them.

Answer 1

i agree with you. i'm a SAHM and believe me, things are tight financially, but home is where I belong...with my kids. To the PP who said you're screwed if your husband dies or runs off with another woman or is abusive...wow...what a sad way to view marriage.
As far as needing to go to work due to financial reasons, I can't afford TO work. I can't imagine how much daycare would cost for three kids. We live below our means and make do. We are happy because we have what we need. Material things aren't everything.

Answer 2

Hmmm not being able to stay at home with your kids due to finacial needs is not the same thing as losing your right to stay at home. Similarly, the right to free speech means you could spend your time making speeches or writing, but you will still need a source of income.

There are many reasons for the increase in prices and without analysing the causes, it's really hard to tell how much, if any, that two income families contribute to higher living expenses.

Answer 3

What you have chosen for yourself isn't wrong or something anti-feminist.

What most women want is the option of working if they wish to.

Women are not trying to be like men. They are trying to have a career and a little self-determination. This isn't a bad thing, though you may not feel it's something you want.

This is not a society where a woman can assume a man will take care of her for the rest of her life (as in be the bread-winner). Many women of my generation were left high and dry by a husband that divorced them - leaving them with no means of making a living and no career. They were forced, in their late 40's and 50's to make a living starting at minimum wage.

Perhaps you can understand some women's desire not to put themselves at such risk.

Answer 4

If you want to stay at home, you can stay at home. That is fine, my mother stayed at home with us but she also knew that if she wanted to work my father would have supported it. I do take issue with the fact that you seem to think that since a woman wants to follow her own goals and dreams that she "wants to be a man". You know the point that you are making isn't necessarily anti-feminist until you made that remark. As someone who has worked in the legal field, no one plans on getting a divorce, but there are women who depend wholly on their husbands and then they are left in the worst kinds of situations because of the husband's apathy toward them. Not always the case but it does happen. There is nothing like being prepared, which is something that my father and mother taught me. If you want to sit at home, sit, but I really don't appreciate the fact that you want to make it seem that women who like working and taking their destiny into their own hands are less than a woman is terrible and I don't appreciate it as a woman who works and prides herself on being 100% woman and not only that but a lady. I was raised in a family where a woman wouldn't allow herself to be put in a 'box'. And by the way, you are aware that there are women throughout history who managed to balance all the aspects of life. Or would you consider them to be 'man-like' too?

And as far as "OUR right" to stay at home, is your husband going to force you out of your cocoon because other women work at home. That is a choice to be made between a woman and her husband, if you want to stay at home that is between you and your husband. I will say this, a single or married working mother has more heart and spirit and worth than any woman in this world.

Answer 5

So you want the luxury of a nice home, and nice things but don't want to go out and work is basically what you are saying. And because a woman works you say she is trying to be like men? You do know this isn't 1950?

Answer 6

Know yo role is all I can say...

Answer 7

No woman is losing her RIGHT to stay home.Their ability to afford it,yes.That's not a right,though.

Answer 8

If you are a stay at home Mom, you are screwed if your husband dies, becomes abusive, or runs off with another woman.I could not have that hanging over me.