any idea's?

Question

i met the love of my life when i was 12, at 13 his family moved to another town so we could never be, ive never in my life gotten over him, i'm 22 now and have had to move on, im married with 2 kids and im relativley happy and couldnt ever live with myself for seperating my kids from their daddy, but im killing myself inside for this lost love, i know i'll never have that "complete" feeling with anyone but him. what should i do?..settle for less then that? live the rest of my life with this heartache and keep on ignoring it?..i know that would be the right thing now that i made my bed, but i still have Tons of years ahead of me,i always beleived true love conquered all..help Plz!!

Okay he does remember me,we have known eachother since Grade 1, we did stay in contact via phone and i saw hi the odd weekend he'd coe for a visit..w avent always been in contact or talking but we alway end up getting n contact just to check up. i know e's single and no kids..we've also never beared our souls o eachother since the night we said goodbye itwas all better let unspoken assinwe'd always get over eahother..it want puppylove but yeah maye if i id see him again it wouldnt be the same as adults..

Answer 1

I think you are cheating yourself and your husband by pineing away for a guy who probably barely remembers you. Love at 12 is immature and fickle - what are you basing this "love" on? You were two children completely cared for by your parents. What sacrifices did this 13 yr old boy make for you? How did he put your happiness ahead of his own? How did he protect and provide for you? HE DIDN"T. Because HE WAS 13!!! But I bet your husband has done those things for you.

I bet if you found this guy today and he was fat, unemployed and had kids by three different women your "love" for him would fade fast!

Answer 2

First you have to think how much you have changed from the age of 13 to the age of 22 He has probably done the same it has been almost 10 years. Be happy with what you are blessed with now If it was meant to be it would have happened. You have a family now work on making that the best that it can possibly be.

Answer 3

Honestly...a family does not move to another town so a couple of kids could never be together. I realize that this might not have been totally what you had meant by that statement, but I just want to make it clear about my thoughts on what I read. You are not going to like what I have to say on your issue.

Did you write him? Did he write you?

Next, why, prey tell, did you marry this other individual and have 2 kids with him? You are being totally unfair to your spouse. You are not even in contact with your old middle-school flame, yet you yearn for a dream. That, is exactly what it is...a dream.

No one is perfect, I will tell you that, right here and now. And, if you think that your old flame is--then you have got to wake up! You are having problems with your current marriage and you are sabotaging it! You need to start reading articles on happy marriages and what make them. Is your current spouse beating you? Is he lazy and doesnt work? Does he neglect you, go out and party with other women?? Does he beat your children?? Do you live in a shack?? Are your children starving?? Is he not providing enough for you?? True love is what you make it. You only knew this mid-school flame for 1 year. You need to councel your current marriage, and put as much effort into it as you are into this dream of yours or you are going to loose it. Grow up.

Right now, you have very young children. Couples forget about the urgency of children...and how many years you are going to give to them. They will bring you joy. Marriage relationships wax and wane constantly...it takes work.

Answer 4

What you need to do is realize that you are in love with your husband. You are right that love does conquer all. You and your husband have a mature adult love that never developed in your preteen romance and may not have developed even given the chance. Quit idealizing something that never was. You and your husband have made sacrifices for each other, been with each other through good and bad, and have children together. You are happy. If you don't think that this is love then you need to redefine the word.

Answer 5

sorry about how you feel.

I personally think, back then, you were 12, and in 'love', but life, living with someone, always gives a different, harsh and true picture, where love is blind, marriage opens eyes.

Perhaps, you never got your eyes opened then, but love is something you work at they say, a commitment, and not just an everlasting feeling. It never lasts, you make it last.

I don't think you will settle for less.. count your Blessings, count the Good things you have. Let your heart love your this one spouse........

God bless you, keep smiling :)

Answer 6

Don't take this the wrong way, but you've got issues if you can even bring yourself to say that you met the love of your life when you were 12 years old. You've got serious issues. Did you have a father in the house as a child?

Answer 7

Halo! U r married with 2 kids! Since u have committed 2 some guy, dont break it. Put te past behind, move on.

Answer 8

YOU ARE NOW 22 AND ALLOT OF THINGS CHANGE FOR A PERSON IN 10 YEARS. THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT THE PERSON YOU REMEMBER HAS CHANGED AND MOST LIKELY HAS HIS OWN LIFE NOW. YOU HAVE A HUSBAND AND A FAMILY TO BE CONCERNED WITH AND I WOULD BET IF YOU DROPPED YOUR FAMILY AND WENT TO THIS PERSON IN YOUR PAST YOU WOULD REGRET IT. SOUNDS LIKE YOUR FIRST LOVE AND THAT ALWAYS HOLDS A SPECIAL PLACE IN YOUR HEART. WE ALL MUST GET OVER THAT. LIKE MOST PEOPLE THE GRASS SEEMS TO BE GREEN ON THE OTHER SIDE AND IT IS NOT. (I ASSURE YOU OF THIS FROM PAST EXPERIENCE).

Answer 9

just forget about it..... at 12 its just puppy love..... i don't think u are really in love with that guy anymore .... what i think is that u are in love with the memory of those days....
think about it u wouldn;t have gotten married or had 2 kids with ur husband if u still wanted to be with this other guy.....
i know what ur going through.... i did the same thing with my ex about a month before i got married.... and i came to understand why i was doing that to myself.... and it was because i was in love with the life i had with him.... not the person himself.... plus think about how much u both have changed since then.... ur not kids anymore.... ur adults and u already have ur own family.... so just enjoy it.

Answer 10

Thats tuff and I'm sorry you feel this way. What I reccomened is seeing a therapist so you can train yourself away from thoughts of this other man. Maybe he is happy and married himself!? If you truely are in love with your husband I would go for the help, its important to avoid future heartbreak.