I just wanted to know what other people thought because its been brought up a few times between us. When I try to get him to help me or stay the night he makes a big deal out of it and I told him I work full time, I have to find the babysitters, and I still get up 7:30 in the morning with the baby and stay awake until 12 sometimes 12:30 untill he goes to sleep. Then I leave for work at 10 and I come back to him. I told him I feel like I'm a single mother sometime.and he gets all mad.He says I'm not a single mother because he comes up and we are engaged. We are engaged so I guess I'm not really a single mom, but I feel like it sometimes, a lot of times.
2007-01-24 01:21:10 · 9 answers · asked by jessie_ann2 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
you can be married and the father living with you, and still be a single mother, because the father does nothing to help out, just puts food on the table, thats not the whole point of being a father/husband, but men dont get that.
2007-01-24 01:31:15 · answer #1 · answered by meg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I am married and feel like a single mom. My husband owns his own business and often has to travel out of state or even the country as a result {right now he's gone for 16 days and when he gets back he'll be leaving for 3 months!). I have a 13yr old special needs child and an 8 month old baby. My husband leaves for his office at 6am and returns most days between 6-7pm. Every other weekend IF he is not away on business he travels to see his daughter from a previous relationship {she lives 7 hrs away}. The only time he and I seem to have together is when we are sleeping. I cook for the kids, clean up after them. am the one that sits up nights with them, the one that wakes up at night with them,if they are having a bad day guess who is the one that is there..ME. If our son is having a crying fit which lets face it his dad can not handle he's handed off to me no matter what I am doing. And yes who cares if your engaged if you are the sole provider for your child and he is not living in the home your a single mother. He comes over and leaves you might as well just be dating him!
2007-01-24 01:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely how you feel and what you are going through. I was married for 12 years, and felt the same way as you do now.
I wish that I could be more positive, about your situation, but I can't. The more I let things slide the worse he got. I worked part-time, went to school full-time, and spent the remainder of my time raising our children. The more I asked for his support the more he said that I didn't understand.
Eventually we got divorced, and this scared me because I didn't want to be a single parent. Then I realized that I have been raising the children on my own since they were born.
Just like you we had a child before we got married, and even seeing how he was before we got married I married him any way. So my question for you is, do you really want to be with a man who can't be there for you? More importantly for his child?
2007-01-24 01:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by Boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a single mom doing it all...disgusting. Realize it..say it several times to a mirror...
Engagement is the time to find out about a person...it is hard enough when there is only the two of you that need to be with each other..add number three and wow...You will have to bear with me as I had several years before kids and treasured them dearly during the good and bad times...
He should be trying to win your heart not make an *** of himself...His true colors are showing...you should be coordinating schedules for sitting not babysitters only you doing etc...
2007-01-24 04:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Patches6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it that men cannot watch their own child! So many of my friends waste money on babysitters while hubby is at home sitting around! The men always act like they've got some thing important to do and might have to rush out at a moments notice. My 2nd hubby (not the baby's father) wouldn't watch her to save his life. I had to take her to a sitter and pick her up from the sitter and pay for the sitter. When she got the measles, I stayed home with her even though I wasn't getting paid. He could have taken some paid sick leave! Men!
2007-01-24 02:02:36 · answer #5 · answered by Sharyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is acting like a child, you need to realize that and move on. Staying in a relationship that sucks is never a good thing. If you are already a single parent, remove him from the situation and ease up some of the stress. Trust me this is from personal experience.
2007-01-24 01:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even mothers with their baby's father in the house full time feel like single mothers sometimes. Guys just aren't raised to understand their responsibility when it comes to children. They think it's a chore. If he's off, he should be with that baby. Period. He would expect no less of you. Time for him to grow up.
2007-01-24 01:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel yah, I think that you can be a single mom while in a relationship... it's hard doing it all by yourself and if he's not helping, then yes, you are in a relationship but that doesn't make him a father, he has to do more than show up every once in a while, there's more to being a parent then putting a ring on somebody's finger.
2007-01-24 01:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by Mel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, until he makes that final commitment, and is there helping you full time and not just part time:
" You are a single mom!"
2007-01-24 01:29:03 · answer #9 · answered by Gramms 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋