Events / things may happen in my life . . . but their not who I am.?

Question

People at times experience ' ill ', challanging, or sad events in their life and don't move forward in the lifes saying "Oh, but I had such and such happen to me...that's why I am this way today".

Those ' ill ' events are what another put on them...or what life put on them . . . but it's not who they authentically are.

Why do many not see that and simply ' take that ill fitting coat ' that another ' put on them ' them saying "this is who you are". Why not simply take that ' coat ' off and say to "them" . . . " you may think that this looks good on me . . . but it's not me " and shuck that coat and move on.

Why do so many hold themselfs ' emotional hostage ' and not move forward ?

This can apply to personal events in ones life or society's guidelines / thoughts of outdated mindsets.
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Why not have courage of inner strength of personal self and move forward. ?

It only takes one person. Those many 'one persons' voices and stance to speaks volumes.

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" Amdrmgrl " . . . That "comfortable numb ", I'm familiar with it. That 'comfortable numb' is a deep hurt buried deep inside. It takes a LOT of courage, and a bit of allowing yourself a 'pissy' attitude to bring up that inner strength and love of self to move out of that 'comforfortable numb' place. Once you've moved out of that place. . . it hurts like hell to feel the emotion...But once that hurt if faced and felt...the healing begins. Life does move forward, life is BRIGHT and a person still embraces and loves life, not bitter, yet won't let anyone 'mess' with you anymore either. Peaceful, loving heart, yet with still valuing of self and others strength. Not ' easy ' to do...yet not much in life worth having in 'easy '. Peace to you.
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Answer 1

Your are right. The events that happen in ones life does not define them. What it is that you learn from those events is what makes them. It is what makes you either grow from that life learning experience or it makes you hold on to it leaving you stagnant. It is up to the individual and whether they are ready to grow in all dimensions.

Answer 2

The answer is simply that we are not all the same. We are individuals and as such we each deal with life in our own way. I have had hardships in my life but, fortunately, I do have an inner strength that I was able to call on to get me through, to help me to forgive (mostly myself). As a result, I was able to grow wiser from the events. My sister, on the other hand, is not built that way. In times of difficulty she has turned to drugs, alcohol and sex. Therefore, it is harder to cope because she doesn't have the courage to say to herself "I can handle this (situation) and grow stronger because of it".

Answer 3

Yes i agree, you must be true to yourself

We should embrace all that life has to offer because each experience can enrich our lives

We each also have a "Right to Choose" from the choices we are faced everyday because this is how we experience life in order to control our lives and our own destiny ... we must Respect each others Rights

Thats not to say however, that we cannot offer more opportunities or choices

Answer 4

I'd say that fear is the answer. Fear to move beyond the pain. Fear that more pain will come. For many, it is easier to accept "ill" as you put it, and dwell within it....that way, there is something to blame for the choices you make. And yes, not choosing is a choice. By accepting the ills and dwelling within them, you CHOOSE to let them be who you are.
For society, it would be the same. Fear of the unknown, fear of trying and failing. Though, on a much larger scale.

Answer 5

Step returned. Take a deep breath. relax. You got here up with a great thought, and now you're putting too a lot stress on your self to make it "suitable". there's no such element as "perfection". it extremely is to no longer say which you mustn't attempt to jot down the tale to the better of your skills. of course you're able to desire to. yet because of the fact the old asserting is going, the experience of one thousand miles starts with the 1st step. Take that first step and start up up writing. Your first draft will seem as though crap. it extremely is all remarkable. each and every writers' first draft is crap. you will edit and rewrite, come across a beta reader, edit and rewrite returned, and what you finally end up with isn't perfection, yet would be a great tale. remarkable now you're chasing chimeras that are no longer properly worth working after, including character names. you're knocking your self out over an argument that's no longer significant. If that's a fable tale, do exactly what many different fable writers do and take accepted names, then upload, do away with or exchange a letter or 2, and use that (including "Mari" for Mary, or "Tohm" for Tom). That works merely as properly. truly, you gave your self the respond on your man or woman question with the line "My old self could merely ... write away with out concerns of booklet, as long because of the fact the only element which concerns is the exciting you get from it". it extremely is the terrific suggestion everyone can furnish, and you gave it to your self. Take the stress off your self, discard notions of "perfection", drop your concerns over character names, and write. each and everything else will shelter itself.

Answer 6

perhaps it can be due to mental confusion/exhaustion, the transgression of understanding of ones own inhibitions and how it plays a role unto themselves, maybe because of our programming and mental conditioning our modern society has set up for us, they set us up to give up, they want us to kick back and ignore our own problems (because we are all living here simultaneously dealing with the same synchronicistic troubles), perhaps its just time wearing on us as humans, the stress and erosion our bodies endure as a result of the passing of time, and our brains filling up with so much information that it effects our bodies and therefore our mindsets...quantum physics says that memories are just chemically induced holographs and that the reality we live is part of the chemical "addiction" that our brain seeks out, from the holographs of our friends and a good time at the bar to holographs of vivid dreams that the soul recollects in the timeless void, and as humans we are just constantly seeking out new stimuli to fill our brains and our minds with fresh quantum realities, always different never the same (but a lot of times we feel its always the same never different, but paradoxically its both) its all a struggle within..

Answer 7

Sometimes their friends or relatives are a constant reminder of their pain. It depends on who actually inflicted the pain. Most victims don't know how to move forward...the pain has become "comfortably numb"

Answer 8

while i agree we should move on,,,,,, and not let other people define us,,,,, often its not so simple as "taking a coat off",,, life events have an impact on us,,,, and change us,,,,,, we can strive to make the change positive,,, but we have to take the event,,,,, incorporate it into who we are,,,, (deal with it) then move on,,,,,like with child abuse, you dont "get over" having had that happen, you dont know what you would of been like if it hadnt happened,,, you dont forget,,,,, but you dont dwell on being a victim,,,,, you accept it,,, try to deal with the negative, and move on as a stronger person,,,,, so i would more think of it as people/events can put scars on you,,,,, but you are not the scar,,, it is just something you have