how do you build up self esteem and is it possible ot get over shyness?

Answer 1

get laid

Answer 2

Great answers so far! To continue with theirs... here are steps you might want to try to build your self-esteem. Choose one or more depending on which pertains to you!

1. Make a list of all the things you do well. Include everything. Examples: Good at fixing things, helpful to others, trustworthy... Keep this list in your pocket, wallet, nightstand... look at it daily. Keep adding to your list.

2. Self-esteem is also built by forgetting about yourself for a while and focusing on other people, causes... Do you know of a friend or family member that needs help with something? Is there a cause in your community that you would like to help with? If you go to church you might find great ideas there.

3. Choose one fear you have always wanted to overcome and start reading books, look at the internet and overcome this fear! That will be a great self-confidence builder. You will see that you achieved something huge!

4. People who have low self-esteem sometimes don't finish projects. If that pertains to you, choose one project to finish, then choose another... and keep going. If that doesn't pertain to you, choose a project that might interest you and make a plan with small steps to finish this project. Finishing a project will give you a sense of self-confidence.

5. Tell yourself every day that you are getting more self-confident daily. Smile more, watch how you dress, stand tall.

Get Over Shyness:
Try some of the self-esteem steps to help you overcome shyness. It's a total package.

I think shyness is also a form of not knowing how to have conversations with other people.

You can work on building relationships. Read or listen to Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People. This will help you build self-esteem and overcome shyness by knowing how to have conversations with people!

Hope these steps help. It takes time, but the first step is wanting something and the next step is putting it into action!

Good luck!

Answer 3

Self-esteem is huge. It affects so much of who you are and how you act. Imagine the behavior that would result if deep down you felt you were bad, or inadequate, or incompetent, or unattractive, or unworthy. You'd be very sensitive to criticism, you'd second-guess yourself, decide not to try things, feel lousy about yourself all the time, so relationships would be very difficult. Many psychological disorders sprout from low self-esteem. It's a problem with a lot of people, baggage from growing up, it can be the result of adults putting us down when we were kids, always feeling inadequate.

It's hard to turn this around, but it can be done. The key is to give yourself credit for any good thing you do...small or large. It's like making deposits into a bank account...your repository of self-esteem. You say to yourself, "I did a good thing, I'm pleased with how that went." Maybe you just showed up on time and made a contribution to a group effort. GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT. After a while you can "draw interest" on this account - in the form of self-esteem. But many people "discount" amazing accomplishments. I knew a gal who was disgusted with herself because she came in second at the state championship swim meet. And a guy who got a Bronze Star in Iraq and said "it wasn't anything." COME ON! You see how low self-esteem feeds itself? It's obvious, if you never give yourself credit, you can never draw the interest.

So you see, you have to do this for yourself. It's great if people don't abuse you verbally or put you down. But in the end, YOU have to give yourself credit, build up your own account over time. All that praise and rewards from adults "just because you're you" is shallow BS and doesn't work. A smart kid knows those tokens are meaningless and may even feed low self-esteem.

Shyness can be linked to self-esteem...you know, "They probably wouldn't want to get to know me..."

But basically, shyness is a behavior pattern. The idea is to break the pattern. Even though you tend not to be outgoing or to spend much time with others, you can choose to do so from time to time for brief periods. Start small...choose to have a conversation with someone. It will take a little courage and will feel strange, but just do it. You don't have to do it for a long time or often, but "stretching" to do this will be good for you, help balance you out, and every time you do it, it will get easier.

Answer 4

Some may be able to improve self esteem a little, but you never get over shyness.

Answer 5

I have an similar difficulty. i understand the shyness feeling. Mine isn't that severe, yet i'm getting the position you're coming from. actually, do exactly not enable it take administration of you. in case you ignore concerning the shyness, and purely placed your self obtainable, you should be okay. purely walk as a lot as someone, and confer with them. %. a topic, perhaps you want their hair or something. tell them that, and then change matters after a lengthy time period. don't be afraid to placed your self obtainable. it will purely carry you lower back.

Answer 6

Yes it's possible, but you have to work at it, focus on what you want and make your sales pitch, and confidence is not always easy to find but you have to remember everyone else has the same problem, which is why some people come off as such obnoxious idiots, they overplay it. Yes, everyone who appears overly confident is bluffing, they lack it more than anyone else. I've also heard a suggestion that you write down on a little note card all the qualities you think you lack, carry it in your pocket, and tell yourself that the OPPOSITE is true when you are down.

Answer 7

Usually we build self esteem as we go through life and shyness lessens as a result.

The main reason for this is twofold. Firstly we gradually get used to the way others see us and of course it is almost always more positive than the way we see ourselves. Secondly, we learn to play to our strengths because we know what they are and our confidence increases because we start to rely less on what others think.

In short, yes you can get over shyness....though keep a little bit...it can be one of your charming attributes!!!

Answer 8

Try to get out more and socialise. The more you do it the beasier it becomes. You may not overcome shyness but you can deal with it differently.

Self esteem is difficult and it is constantly undermined by media and other people but try to identify your positives and constantly remind yourself. Be good to yourself and try to improve your looks and think positively about you talents and personality.

Answer 9

build a wall to stop negative thoughts getting through by thinking nice positive things dont think about what other people think of you, the world,or the way it should be. shyness is a battle that can only be won with bravery it is always 2 steps forward and 1 step back. dont be affected by other people,use your wall to shield you from negitivity including your own.oxoxox

Answer 10

You build up your self esteem by looking inward and convincing yourself that those who you see right now with self esteem are not better than you they are not super humans and you are all made from the same fabric. dont be shy, fellow humans dont bite the most that can happen is a nasty retort. and remember with every experience you build yourself up. Dont forget when you are nice to nasty people you throw them off. God loves you

Answer 11

It is definitely possible to get over shyness. Take stock in yourself. What are your special talents? (Music? Writing? Sports?) Find others with similar interest and engage them (it will be easy because they will be interested in the same things). Engage people face-to-face (not online).

Share your talents. You'll be amazed how easy it is to engage people and you'll getting over shyness in no time.