at 54 years old , my husband started to philander choosing young students who take advantage of men with midlife insecurities to get financial support to see these students through school.
2007-01-24 00:43:02 · 12 answers · asked by perleybr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yikes 54? I went though mine at 40, well, hard to say, every man is different but there is this feeling perhaps of I've invested all this time in my marriage and what have I missed, what could I have done, I could have been a contender type attitude. He KNOWS he is being taken advantage of, he just doesn't care, he is getting attention from young pretty girls which is filling a void for him. If I had any advice I'd say to mix it up a bit in the marriage more sex never hurts, get involved in something together if he always wanted to say, hike to the top of Mt. Whitney, get some hiking shoes and GO, go with him. Remind him of all he has worked for and how quickly he could loose it by fooling around, validate him with all he has accomplished and let him know how valuable this marriage is. Wish I had more to offer, there is a maturity factor here that I think is different for a lot of men.
2007-01-24 00:52:06 · answer #1 · answered by Tim H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a big advocate for divorce. However, these days, cheating is not only breaking your marriage vows - it can also endanger the health of even the innocent party. If this is something that he will continue to do because of his "midlife crisis", the best thing you can do for yourself would be to get a good lawyer and remove yourself from the situation. Good luck
2007-01-27 20:16:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you say it's a mid-life crisis? Why can't it just be that he's bored with your marriage? If it's a mid-life crisis, typically there's a reason to precipitate it. (Loss of a job, loved one, something happening at work).
I would consider marriage counselling to see if he even wants to continue your marriage, and how important it is. Make sure he knows that YOU know about his phiandering. That it's unacceptable.
2007-01-24 00:49:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im married to an older man who would probably like to do the exact same thing but heres what i do i act like just as big a child as he does and it doesnt give him enough time to be trying to see things on the other side of the fence,dont let him have enough time on his hands to do anything act like you have more energy than he could ever hope to have
2007-01-24 01:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a heart to heart with your husband let him know what he is doing is causing you some anxiety and pain. Make clear request of what you want from him. If that doesn't work then ask him to see a professional about this issue.
2007-01-24 00:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by singsong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. If you give him love and support and a sense of purpose at home, he won't feel the need to find it by other means.You need to make this a joint venture if it is really important to him. Stand by your man and discuss the financial decisions together.
2007-01-24 00:49:50 · answer #6 · answered by moose on the loose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him and live your life. Stay out, go to movies, take an art class, do things for yourself. Let him cook his own dinner and wash his own clothes. See http://www.midlifeclub.com/
Sofa King Sexy is one of those, "always blame the woman" types. Ignore HIM as well.
2007-01-24 01:11:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know you will not allow him to use joint finances to help these younger children who "use" him. If he won't listen, you may have take a more drastic approach - if you know what I mean - anyways, good luck, your gonna need it.
2007-01-24 01:23:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm broke. Does he like 36 year old men?
I agree with webberpl...He might be bored with you. take some responsibility in this.
2007-01-24 00:53:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find a way to get your assets protected...Even if it means leaving.
2007-01-24 00:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋