Situation: 1.5 year Love affair with a married lady with kids. Her husband found out by hiring a PI Firm.We truely loved each-other- it hard,Especailly since it ended abruptly.She sent me an email saying never to contact again. Seemed sent out of duress. Plus her husband called me to make sure I got the message. He was very calm about it. -he Not angry. . Her husband has her under lock and key and chained up- - and they are going to counciling. She called me a few times this past week. I am uncomfy with it in the fact I told her to focus on her familiy-get that right and if it doesn't work out- then we can try to ressurect our relationship. She loves her kids dearly! Rightfully is focussing on them. I too love kids so I don't view them as baggade but part of the package. She knows all of this. She says her love for me is irrelevant now..and cannot tell me she loves me but still calls me? She says this hit so fast. Should i take her calls? What should I tell her? Why she doing this?
2007-01-24 00:11:30 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Change your phone number to a private and unlisted one. She is obligated to do whatever is necessary to make her marriage work for the sake of her children. If and when she ends her marriage legally then she can pursue a relationship with you. How she feels about you doesn't matter as she stands to lose alot if she doesn't straighten her act up.
Her hubby had every right to do what he did. He is her spouse and she took vows. If she didn't want to be in the marriage then she should have taken the appropriate legal action.
Unfortunately, you find yourself in the same position that so many mistresses do. It's the risk you take when you commit adultery with someone. No way around it. No justifications or excuses.
Focus on your own life. Disconnect from her completely. She is not available. I can only imagine the turmoil the kids have had to endure because of this not to mention the permenent damage.
2007-01-24 01:06:10 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to be so blunt....but you were an idiot to get involved with a married woman...as Dr. Phil would put it, "What were you thinking?!"
You need to move on and forget her. When you two met, she was definitely at a point in her time where she was burned out a little bit from the relationship with her Husband, [obviously, things were not same as they first met, which leads to them getting married in the first place]...people change and she was seeking a "new" adventure for her, such as a "break from the routine". With this in mind, she definitely has an issue to be worked out with a counselor and only a counselor. in fact there was a recent case in Michigan and a court Judge had sent someone to prison for committing adultery...with the risks of STDs today, The Michigan Judge considered it a felony. Not to say that is in your locale's jurisdiction, but look at this as an example of the 'hidden' aspect of 'consequences'...
What you need to do is move on with your life...you have a right to be happy and the situation you're in is working against that....think about it. good luck! =) Keep your head up while you're at it! =)
2007-01-24 08:27:04 · answer #2 · answered by Rmprrmbouncer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's made her decision to stay with her husband and you need to back off. Find someone who's single and who's going to love you and respect you. Why would you want a woman who's been unfaithful to her husband for a year and a half and hasn't felt any conviction for her wrong doings? That to me speaks volumes. She has no morals and no regrets. If she loved her family the way you say she does, she wouldn't have hurt them the way she did. Move on man and find something better. Good luck!
2007-01-24 08:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is very confused. I would be asking her not call you at all as this is not helpong putting her marriage back on track. If her marriage hasn't worked after councilling and she decides it's over then call you. If you love her you need to make a clean break and give her the chance to see what she really wants. You sound like ur a nice guy so you need to explain to her that this can't keep going on. She needs to decide who she wants you or her husband.
Good luck
2007-01-24 08:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by Donna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if you are even asking the question you should go ahead and get your things in order. Insurance last will and all. maybe think about whats gonna happen to those kids when thier dad is in jail for killing the one or both of you.. you just stuck your finger in a fire once and it did not hurt. my guess is you did not hold the finger in there for long. gonna try again ?
2007-01-24 08:28:13 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's simple, stay away from her you pondscum, quit thinking of yourself and let her work out her problems with her husband. You claim to love kids yet you getting involved with her shows how much you really don't care. Tearing a family apart really expresses love for children apparently. Grow up, stop thinking of yourself and how this lady makes YOU feel. You think her kids want anything to do with you creep?
2007-01-24 08:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by poseidenneptune 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone. Women naturaly need more then one man as one is not satisfying. You too are just another man to her that has captured her imagination for a while. If you get in a relationship with her she will find another lover to satisfy her new urges.
If you would not like to come second don't choose a woman who has just put someone else she once loved second.
2007-01-24 08:18:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she sounds as if she is keeping the lines of communication open, but u know unless she is being abused i believe u need to make yourself unavailable, and let her work on the marriage, stay away from her. the husband could come after u, it isn't unknown for a spouse to come after the person who they feel is ruining their marriage. do not take her calls anymore. if she decides to leave him than maybe u can begin a relationship but as long as she is legally married, u need to respect that.
2007-01-24 08:26:09 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 Timothy 3Ch.
Job 24 14- 20 v
2007-01-24 08:34:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take calls - if she continues to call and you feel compelled to take the calls then get your number changed or they can block certain numbers from calling I think. Keep out of the situation. That way if it doesn't work out then you aren't the one in the middle and the cause of it.
2007-01-24 08:51:28 · answer #10 · answered by T C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋