my wife and i were starting to drift apart over the years dont get me wrong we had good times but we fought a little and grew a little distant. She hooked up with an old friend online and they started talking. we got into a fight one night and she told him that and he moved in for the kill he played on our fight and got her to trust him. she was going back home for a vacation to visit friends and he went there to see her well one thing led to another and she stayed with him she told me he just held her that night but the next morning put the moves on and she went along with it and screwed him.one night on a long talk we had she told me it was horriable he was over weight and gross and had a small you know what and she really messed up her life by doing what she did.
me and my wife are trying to work things out ive realized my lack of attention to her as well as many other things and she to is working on the things i want
any advise on how to get past this?
2007-01-23 23:55:43 · 19 answers · asked by demorider2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to marriage counseling and try to keep the past in the past. However, you may want to look into her reasons on why she is upset about her encounter with him. It doesn't sound like she is upset about breaking her marriage vows, hurting you and potentially wrecking her marriage. It all seems to be about his physical problems. It is good that you are trying to save your marriage, but make sure that is what she is wanting also. Good luck.
2007-01-27 20:05:33 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a really awkward situation, but certainly it can be resolved as long as both of you really love each other. From the latest events, it is clear that both of you have ALREADY started working on a solution - which means that you two still love each other! So it may help a lot if you two can take a vacation and work on reviving the nice relationship that was there between you earlier. Remember ... past is past ... you can't do anything about it ... so just turn the page, and look forward to a bright new beginning. Good luck!!
2007-01-24 00:21:07 · answer #2 · answered by Neptune Dot One 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you're on the right track but the two you need to go to therapy. There is something in the marriage that made her do what she did and guys need to get help with that and you're going to need time to trust her again. There's still love in the marriage because you didn't leave most men would have. So I believe there is great promise this marriage will work out once you come to terms went wrong in the first place. Good Luck.
2007-01-24 00:18:37 · answer #3 · answered by momseekinganswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a bigger person than I am, because I would have sent her packing.
If you both have decided to try to mend your relationship, I highly advise you to get into marriage counseling right away. There are some things that are not resolved by simply choosing to forgive. You both need to get into counseling and she needs to have someone to hold her accountable for her actions. It's good that you realize that it takes two to tango, but there is such thing as self control and self respect. Hopefully next time, she'll be wiser in her decision making.
Get a counselor fast! Good luck!
2007-01-24 00:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you can, just try to put it out of your mind. You sound like such a good husband, that's a good start. You seem to want to make things work and will take partial blame. She was wrong but it does take two to mess up a marriage (usually).
Seek counseling - that would probably be best and keep the communication lines open. Best of luck to you!!
2007-01-24 01:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. Get Drunk, go to a strip club, get a lap dance(or two), and move on. She can't be trusted, no matter what she does. There are only two things I think a married couple can't work through, abuse and infidelity.
From your question, you say you both grew distant. Did you run around on her? Don't take any of the blame for her doing what she did.
And, the earlier answer is correct, she wouldn't feel bad if he was good looking and well endowed.
2007-01-24 00:10:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Either thought about putting God back into your life? If you have, then someone with strong faith and leadership, or doctor can help you work out some of the difference, rest of the time your on your own,, can you forgive her . and not bring it up, or are you going to be spitful and bring it up later, Didn't say how long you have been but if it's anytime at all you've worked to hard together to just drop it all. Start with each other on your knees, praying and talking.
2007-01-24 00:13:37 · answer #7 · answered by darlene g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're a better man than I am. But it does sound like you are headed in the right direction. As far as getting totally past this I am not sure you will ever get totally past this. There is no way that you will ever forget what she did. But if you can both put this behind you then it is a step in the right direction. Good Luck.
2007-01-24 00:07:55 · answer #8 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife had sex with a fat guy with a small pecker because you didn't pay her enough attention? Dude, your wife is a skank! It would be better if she had sex on a horny impulse. At least then she would have kept her self respect.
What should you do? Well, move on with life. Really, I wouldn't trust an attention whore, but eh, maybe have some counselling and some therapy she'll learn better ways of coping and communicating and you too!
2007-01-24 00:12:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
needless to say, each and every marriage is distinctive interior the mattress room, it is undeniable to settle for that - although, I strongly agree that sexual intercourse is a significant concern on construction a relationship, it beneficial properties believe, enables you to comprehend the and delight in the different individual and correctly, we could face it, you don't get that on the component of purely every person now do you? initially you assert that your husband is attracted to you, I actual do no longer doubt this as he nevertheless married you after the two one in all you fooled around with one yet another. although, what it does seem to me is that he's keeping off intercourse with you, and what surprises me is that oftentimes it is got here upon that adult males ***** of ladies with this concern. generally the guy keeping off intercourse won't comprehend that they are doing so. maybe purely gently ask him, or maybe spice it as much as make it irresistable to him. If he nevertheless rejects you comprehend its and underlying concern which you have yet come for the time of formerly your marriage. although, because of the fact its him it particularly is inflicting the concern does not advise it can not be the the two one in all you to repair it. tell him the form you experience and ask him whats incorrect, do no longer rigidity him to open up straight away away, and carry back from the "you are trying this and you do this", by ability of concentrating on the "i believe like, and that i like it once you.." desire this helped, and robust success... :)
2016-11-01 03:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋