I need help for my friend!!?

Question

Well i told one of my friends that im gay and he told me he really charishes are friendship, but he still is uncomfortable with the fact im gay............can anyone give me any insite on what to tell him to better understand gays??

Answer 1

you the same person you always were...the only thing that's changed is that now he really knows who you are. I think some straight people are afraid of a kind of "guilt by association" in that if they spend too much time with gay people they may be perceived as being gay themselves or worse, they might "catch it" and become gay themselves. Give him some time to digest the information you've provided and possibly give him more info when he's ready for it. There's a great book called "when I knew" that contains the experiences of many varied people talking about their first (or at least strongest) memories of when they knew that they were gay. It's an easy (and very entertaining) read and reading it may help him to see that being gay is who you are...not what you've become.

Answer 2

So now that he knows - make a point of telling him that you only want his friendship and just be yourself thereafter.

By behaving as you behaved before he knew you were gay, he'll either come around to the fact that you're still the same person or, I'm afraid, your friendship will lessen. It is down to him to get over his discomfort. Nothing else you can do.

Answer 3

this point of your friendship is critical i know from personal experience, and every person will react slightly different to the fact their friend is "gay", so the advice you will recieve is going to only that advice....

my advice is this... kind of try to step back but only a little... stay around enough to were your good friend gets used to you and can see you and your personality for what he remembers and then once they are comfortable with the whole picture then the friend ship will prosper and if it is done with the right consistancy the friend ship will grow 10 fold... but like i said this is only advice and you need to think about how they are and use the things you know to remind them why they are your friend... its not because you liked the oppisite sex but rather that your personable and that they had a great time with you... try not to push the subject and infact let them come to you with the questions believe they will when they are ready ... and try to focus now that they do know on the things that brought you the closest ....

Answer 4

The friends that I'm out to didn't have this problem, but I would understand if they did. Think about how long it took you to come to terms with your sexuality. It takes time to adjust and in time your friend may become more comfortable with it. Remind him that you've always been gay and that you were when you became friends. The only change is that you have reached a level that you trust them and love them enough to confide in them and share your true self with them. Also you may want to check out http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Get_Informed4&CONTENTID=34213&TEMPLATE=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm if they have any other questions that you can't answer.

Good luck and I hope everything works out.

Answer 5

straight men tend to be belligerent, and they need persecutory delusions to justify their attacking-type "defense" which is as same as attack. The scenario would be as follows: A straight man finds his friend making an unforgivable mistake - being gay, a mistake he "never" makes. This Superior feeling instigates the straight man to bully his gay friend. However, he needs an excuse to justify the bully. So, he assumes his gay friend must have hit on him, just as he can hit on any women. Therefore, he can bully his gay friend in the name of defending himself against his gay friend's potential harassment.
Your friend is not uncomfortable with the fact you're gay, but he is uncomfortable about bullying you or even not bullying you. So, just forget about your friend. He needs to be homophobia to be heterosexual, or even something "better" - masculine!

Answer 6

Hey men cheer up, you can't judge him what he realy feels when he is with you, we sahre the same faith dude but my friends are well so open rounded, first thing first, when i am with them i act like a real men but when we are both alone, I can express what really I am, guess what, he respect me so well cause I respect him the way he want it too,
But if he is real friend, gayness is not a matter of factor for him to feel uncomforthable to you, after all, friendship does not work on eyes, but through the heart...real friendship means real you...

Answer 7

you need to let your friend know that gays are not predators after every swinging richard that moves. there are alot of people that think just because you are gay you will hit on them or try to grab their junk. just tell him that your friendship means alot to you too, but you have no romantic or sexual feelings towards him in the least, no offense. alot of str8 people that don't know many of us have this fear that all we are, are perverts preying on the weak and helpless and every man on the face of the earth. ask him since he is str8 does he want o be with every female he sees and will he try to get in their pants at mo cost. i am sure he will say no since there are alotf butt ugly women out there and ones that are not appealing in any way. just because you are gay doesn't mean that you don't have morals or standards for that matter. be sure to let him know that he is safe and that if anyone asks you will tell them that he is hoplessly str8. also be sure to tell him that us gay folks are not child predators and that we are not out ot revruit kids or mess with them. that being gay means you like mature people of the same sex that are legal, not pedophiles who stalk and prey on innocent kids. tell him to be a man and realize that there are all kinds of people out there in the world and just because he sees things differently does not mean they are wrong or bad. tell him that women will like him more if he has gay friends, because that shows he has backbone and compassion. the backbone part is because he does not care what others think of him for having a gay friend and compassion is for not caring how his friend is different but that his friend is a person to and has feelings just like anyone else. tell him that the ladies will flock to him then. maybe that will get him thinking!LOL!!! hope this helps.

Answer 8

Tell him you told him that becuase you are friends and you didn't want him to find out through someone else and say "why didn't you tell me?"
Explain to him that you aren't attracted to him that way.
If he's still uncomfortable with you, sorry to say, a little distance may be best.
As for telling him about gays, ask him what his preconcieved notions about them are and answer him based on what you see being one.
Good Luck!

Answer 9

Maybe he does understand. It is normal to feel affection for members of the same sex, and for people of the opposite sex you aren't married to. But the different situations require that the affection be expressed in different ways. If the only way a person knows how to express affection is sexually, then..... I don't think I want them for a friend, whatever sex they are. I believe I should be allowed that choice!

Answer 10

Tell him he's not your type. Best just to put his mind at ease that you don't have feelings for him. Straight guys generally tend to think that ALL gay guys just want to jump their bones (yes it's a generalisation, but it's my observation.).