my baby 18 has left w/her 27 y.o. beau,to begin life 2gether custody battle w/his ex,my daughter out of my home 1srt time leaving 4 close siblings behind,and a distraut mom not ready 2 let go...Will this
last?
2007-01-23 22:35:37 · 11 answers · asked by MissCherokee 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have an analogy for you;
You now are experiencing what so many women never experience. Many fathers that are divorced and don't have custody of their kids feel exactly what your feeling and it's horrible. I describe it as a lonely rainy day.
For years at a time it hurts and then when you accept it, you never forget it, like a death it keeps a sad space in your mind that I think sometimes will never heal. Now my children are getting older and getting ready to leave my (ex) house on their own, and she will feel what she never knew I felt, I am glad I am past it. And everyone thinks the child support hurts, it's nothing compared to this is it?
Good luck.
2007-01-23 22:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by yawhosucs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello hun, I'm so sorry to hear that your mum is going through this! I just hope that you don't feel that you or your sister is to blame :) My Mum is just getting over her empty nest syndrome after my older brother left home, and I asked her about it for you. She mentioned that encouraging your Mum to find any kind of work, even voluntary, would help. It helped my Mum to get out of the empty house while my dad and myself were working, and my brother was living elsewhere. She also got lots of support from other mothers she works with, who had been through the same thing and know how she feels. Things will get better dear - when she realises that you both love her and care about her, she will know that things will be ok and be very proud of you. Try getting her a nice photo frame, with a photograph of you and your sister together. Make her a card, and write about how much you both love her, no matter how far away you are and how much you miss each other. Reassure her. You can drop a polite hint to her - tell her that with all the work you're doing, you're going to have an early night and will see her at the weekend or in a few days. Good luck dear I hope everything works out :)
2016-05-24 03:45:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didnt get the part about custody battles, but if your daughter has left home with her beau, you should be happy for her. Keep in touch with her, but dont become obsessive. She'll be fine. Find things to do for yourself...hobbies, volunteer work etc..You have to realise that a lot of ppl leave home at 18...for school and stuff...So it had to happen sometime.
Turn to your friends to help you get thru the first few months..socialise in a big way..go out...do an online course...find something else to keep you busy....once you get used to her not always being around, you'll be fine.
God bless!
2007-01-23 22:47:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lana K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It,s not the change of life!! Your hormones do not need
checking for this!
I still have my two at home son 18 and 10 yr old daughter
and I am already getting myself worked up about them
leaving me!! It,s bad enough when they first stay out a
night. Even now he tells me where he is and whether he
will be home, but I can,t rest till he is in. I know I have got
to let go but it is so bloody hard. Your kids will always
love and need you though. Make sure they come home to
mom for meals and plan time together. Let them know for
you this is a BIG deal. I,m sure in time you will feel better.
I just feel for you. My day will come....
2007-01-23 22:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will only last if you let it.
What are you doing to improve your relationship with your husband? Now is the time to enjoy being with him.
Take those trips you wanted to take with him.
Have naked day at home. It's just the two of you, stay home and stay naked for a day.
Do things you were too scared to do when you had to take care of the kids, bungee jumping, sky diving, buy a motorcycle and ride with your husband, etc.
Your job as mother is different. Now it's time to SHOW your kids how to live life to it's fullest and love your husband with everything you have.
Think of what you are doing as demonstrating living well to your kids.
2007-01-23 23:34:47 · answer #5 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will be okay. My 18 year old just left with her 4 month old baby. I cried solid for two weeks. She didn't bring the baby around during those two weeks and I found out that it was because all I could do was hold him and cry. When the crying stopped, there she was wanting me to keep him every weekend.
I thought she didn't need me anymore. But she does.
Your daughter will need you and you will be there for her.
2007-01-24 00:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by finallyfree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is only a question that you can answer. they left your home but not your life. this person NEEDS to get a life outside of her family or she will drive herself insane. go to the library, take up some ballroom dance lessons...learn a foreign language at community college...volunteer...ANYTHING. just don't sit there and be miserable. or move into a much smaller place so that she doesn't have that empty space to stare at.
2007-01-24 00:11:00 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what happens when people think of their children as extensions of themselves instead of individual people. Get a hobby, a job, volunteer work, a puppy or anything!
2007-01-23 22:40:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may want to have your hormones checked. It could be the change of life.
2007-01-23 22:39:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it will last until you get a life
2007-01-23 23:34:00 · answer #10 · answered by klunk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋