Ok here is the whole story. Me and my husband hve been married for a little over two years. We are both in the military and I want to get divorced. We don't have any joint account, credit cards etc... The car is mine and in my name as well as all the furniture etc.. The only thing my husband currently pays for is daycare. The only thng I think we are gonna have to deal with is custody of our 2 year old son. My son is my dependent and I claim him. Now I need to know what is gonna happen once I file for divorce? My husband is actully getting ready to transfer to Mississippi and I am in Spain, how ill that work?? Please I need help! Also will my x have to pay child support or how does that work as well. Please help especially if you have had an experience like mine.
2007-01-23 20:46:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay...I just filed for divorce a couple of weeks ago and my husband is in the navy. We are doing a completely uncontested divorce...which means that we are not getting lawyers and not going to court. The military will help you file for an uncontested divorce ONLY. That means you and your husband have to agree on EVERYTHING. Child support....spousal support...division of property. If you cannot decide than you will have to get a lawyer and it will allot more expensive.
You can also go and see you legal office. But remember that only ONE of you will be able to be seen at that office. Once one of you goes there the other will not be able to go there EVER because that person is now a client. I am not sure where you are stationed so there might not be another office around you….I would try to get in ASAP.
A word of advice talk to your husband, do this civilly between the two of you. Do not just throw this on him…because that will make him want to fight you. Talk to him…you never know he might feel the same way. My husband and I were able to discuss everything in two evenings….I will admit things got pretty bad…but once everything was out in the open than we were fine. I went and showed my paperwork to a Marine lawyer and he told me that I did really well…he was very impressed. So unlike what a lot of people will tell you it can be done, if you both want to make it as easy as possible. But if he will not agree and wants to fight you I am sorry to say that you will have to get a lawyer.
My husband and I are on extremely good terms and we have decided on everything. My best advice to you is to call you legal office and ask them about the their dissolution seminar. There will be two seminars. One will discuss the divorce and how to get a uncontested divorce and the other will show you how to fill out the paperwork. I really hope this helps you.
Please let me know if you have any questions. vargasmoe@yahoo.com
2007-01-23 22:30:10 · answer #1 · answered by vargasmoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered counseling? Maybe your marriage can be saved. It's definitely worth a try, or multiple tries. The boy needs a father, and happily married people are healthier than single people too. Whatever came between you can't be that bad, can it?
If you get a divorce, maybe your husband would like to share custody of your (yours and his) child. Whoever gets the child most of the time will probably receive some amount of child support from the other. I hope for his sake that the court is reasonable about the child support, because sometimes they take too much from a person and leave them with little to live on. Hmmm . . . this is all very unusual. Doesn't the military have counselors to help with problems like yours? You really need more expertise than I expect you'll find here. Good luck! I hope you can work things out!
2007-01-23 21:02:10 · answer #2 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an ex´military man in charge of over 125 soldiers I
have seen all kinds of divorce cases: You have a few
options that you will need to think about and first of all
you need to communicate with your husband and see
what you and him will be responsible for such as who will
take the child into custody, weather or not it will be joint
custody, and how much will he pay for child support as
whoever takes custody the other will have to pay child
support, and also who will take care of the child in case
it can't be where you or him are deployed. If you come to
an agreement then make sure all the agreements are
on paper through your JAG. If you do have problems
that he does not agree to then you still go to JAG as they
will work with you on what it is that you agree or disagree
on. Even though ur son is claimed as your dependent
does not make it automatic that he will go to you as your
husband could contest it. Make sure you go to ur comm-
ander and use your chain of command and also see a
chaplain for moral support as this way no-one can say
you did not use the process in the right way. Last but
not least try and communicate with your husband and
see if the marriage can be worked out but if not then
you need to go ahead in life as the military is stress
enough that you don't need any more stress, I know I
spent 22 yrs in it. Good luck and remember use JAG
for any legal portions of your divorce as it makes who-
ever takes the child into custody pay child support.
2007-01-23 22:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, get a lawyer, and not one provided by the military. I know they are free, but they are out to help the military member. If you even have the slightest evidence that he may have even had an emotional affair, you can use it. An affair isn't just sexual. Talk to his first shirt and let him know what is going on. As for debt, honey... you can't stick him with the bill, no matter how hurt you are. You both accumilated it. He can't pay you and take on all the debt. As for spousal support... You need to talk to a lawyer, but since you have no kids. You're looking at 6 months and then its final. In that 6 months, the judge may require spousal support. After the 6 months, there is a chance you may get alimony. The judge is going to have to look at your living situation and see if you NEED it. Thats the only way you'll get it. It also isn't very long, since it is supposed to help you get back on your feet. Just know, he will pay, because thats how divorce works. You go from two incomes to one, and still have all the bills. Atleast you don't have kids to make it even more of a mess. Just look into COBRA, under it, you should be able to get up to 3 years of health insurance, even though you will have to pay the premiums for it. On a side note... I know you're hurting, and I know it seems like you just got married and turned around and getting divorced, but just know that you are going to be ok. You're strong, you can pick up the pieces of your life, and you'll meet an awesome guy that wants to treat you the way you deserve! Good luck to you!
2016-05-24 03:37:36 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dint know much about military but in a divorced it user 50 -50 on all that you got why you was married if he wont it that way and your 2 year old you do that i hope you get full custody of him and i think i would just Walt a Little to file for your divorce
2007-01-23 21:03:59 · answer #5 · answered by EVA J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been in your shoes---being military etc. You'll need to file for your divorce in the city and state of your home of record. Or---if you're going to be transferred to Mississippi along with your spouse you could wait until you've established residency there and file in Mississippi. Otherwise file in your home of record.
If your military advocate in SPAIN is going to take care of this make sure they do a Wage withholding for child support for your child---You could also request spousal maintenance support but I doubt you will be granted this due to the fact you're employed!
SEEK LEGAL COUNSEL immediately!
2007-01-23 22:46:16 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son will remain with whomever is deemed most fit as a parent if the two of you fight over it. If you don't then you can agree on joint custody or whatever. Being in the military, if you are at risk of deployment you will need to have a plan for who will care for your son while you are gone.
Contact JAG, they can answer your questions.
2007-01-23 20:54:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well is it his child also? i am not sure of the divorce laws in Spain. If you husband is paying for child care he will be able to deduct that on taxes and if it is his child and he has an agreement with you that he can claim your child on taxes he will be able to do that.If it is not his child he will not have to pay child support. If he has to pay child support all you will be able to get is his BAQ seeing how you were only married for 2 years you would not even be eligible for his retirement.
2007-01-23 22:33:57 · answer #8 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there, but I was dependent wife. When we seperated my ex gave me a hard time with the child support, went to his CO - got a direct deposit - but it was the military that came up with the amount & it was generous enough - not a crazy amount. The rest I can't help you with - you are best to seek legal advice - I believe the military offers legal assistance and/or advice.
2007-01-23 20:53:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U seem to be financially well off. Go to an attorney or buy a book on the subject from a book store.
2007-01-23 21:37:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋