I'm fed up with my life being this way!!I have decided to leave my husband but i fear my life..at first I was leaving him for someone else but now I know I have to do this for me and me only.I am used to being taken care of and never had a job in my life(my family is wealthy) I was brought up overseas and never finished high school.....so Im worried that when I leave i cant support myself...help from my family is out of the question...I have to do this on my own and Im scared....I seriously fear for my life if i leave him and thats what has been holding me back...I have been controlled all my life and I'm sick of it...How can I make it on my own? Will I always have to fear him finding me? Any advice would help.....thank you and God bless.
2007-01-23 16:56:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my family wont help me at all......they are disowning me for doing this.
2007-01-23 17:36:49 · update #1
Well I think were both the same. I am also afraid being on my own with my two kids. And like you said that is what is holding me back. Me and my husband argue all the time. I want to be a better wife but when I try it seems to get worse.For the same with me I did not finished high school but I am trying to get my GED and hopefully I get a small career to fall back on. So maybe you should go for your GED. It will encourage you more and maybe you can go to a community college part time and work full time. We have to be strong we can do it. Well maybe you can write me back since we have a lot in common. I hope things work out for you. God Bless...
2007-01-23 17:27:48 · answer #1 · answered by butterfly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it step by step physically (getting rid/selling little things you don't want on Ebay or a garage sale).
Take it step by step emotionally gradually too. --I'd definately secretly get some emotional help whether voicing out your troubles w/a pastor or therapist, ideally BOTH. You want to build yourself up as much as possible. Do you want to leave right away or can you willingly plan it out better by staying a little while, while you work to save some money? Do you need a financial safety net to fall back on? Maybe a relative or two would help you, when your starting out. Plus you could work and have the best of both worlds saving cash in the bank.
Develop the best that you can and prepare yourself on all levels before you make your move. If your in a dangerous situation (and I sure hope not!)--perhaps get away far away and stay w/a friend or relative. Work on your confidence by reading self-help books, listen to self-enrichment cd's too. By getting confident you need to get active. That's the only way to build this treasure within. People just aren't born that way, they become this way and there's many ways to have it too, everyone's different.
I understand your scared. But isn't it scarier in a way to keep living a lie? Your life is worth a lot more than this. ANd you really definately deserve to be happy and have peace within. If you'd like someone to email, you may email me. It's right on my account on yahoo Q&A. It's only a click away.
Take care.
2007-01-23 17:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bible says: I have not given you a spirit of fear, but a spirit of boldness. So, we know that the fear you are feeling is from the devil, who wants you to remain in bondage. I can't tell you whether to end your marriage, but I can tell you, if your life is in danger, that is a pretty damn good reason to! I don't understand why you can't go to your family (what family wouldn't help a daugher in danger?), so I would encourage you to call them and ask for help. If not, seek help from a friend. If there is no one close, call your local shelter (if you have internet, you can search out places on the internet). But, before you leave your husband, make sure what you want to is FINAL. There is no going back and there is no changing your family's mind about him once you confess to them what is going on. I don't believe you should fear anyone in this world. Gather strength from God, who is stronger than ANY person or enemy in this world!
2007-01-23 17:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I maybe mistaken but I get the impression that you had an arranged marriage. If you don't love him that's o.k but you have to have some respect for him, I mean you have to tell him everything, including reason why you are not leaving yet and start looking for job, as soon as you find one you can leave. If he's kind of person that you know that will not understand you, than don't tell him anything, just start looking for job, even with minimum salary at the beginning, just enough to rent house and to buy food.
Good Luck, you'll need it!
2007-01-23 19:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is so serious than I would rather do as a heroine, a chineze girl from the serial "Lost". First she went to learn English wanting to escape from husband. I mean it's better first to arrange (perhaps secretely) and than to run away. In other case it would be very-very hard for you.
I couldn't find a suitable job and a flat to live even with some help from parents and higher education.
Take care!
2007-01-23 17:09:13 · answer #5 · answered by Natalya Ch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get on your own two feet by getting a job and stashing away some cash. Do this as soon as possible.
And you say your family is wealthy, so I would consider asking for temporary help in the form of a loan or a place to stay. I know you say you can't involve them and want to do it all on your own, but don't let foolish pride get in the way of your freedom and happiness. Good luck.
2007-01-23 17:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're fed up with your husband emotionally, then leave. No money in the world can buy true love. The world is a harsh place, show it that you're a strong and independent woman!
2007-01-23 17:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phone your local police department or distress centre and ask for a number for your nearest Home for abused wives. They will take you in & give you room and board for a time. Ask them what procedures you should take to get ready to leave and how to do it.
Good luck.
2007-01-23 17:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by concernedjean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can make it. You're never too old to expand your education and skills. And a restraining order will take care of him.
2007-01-23 17:00:14 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
allamony
2007-01-23 17:25:22 · answer #10 · answered by stampadhesive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋