First of all, I want you to know that I am 6 weeks away from giving birth, so my hormones could be playing a part in this. For the last 4 months, my husband has been in another state working for the military. I am stuck in my state because I have family here to help me in case I go into labor early. But this is why I ask, lately, my husband turns his phone off at night, and relativly early, around 7 at nihgt, he gets drunk to the point of being baligerant, and he originally got a laptop at the beginning of this deployment so he could talk with me and our daughter at night time, and we havent spoken on the computer in weeks. I cant track his spending because he uses his government credit card for everything. I just got back from visiting him last month, and I saw nothing out of the norm, but that doesnt mean he just stopped doing whatever could be bad for the week I was there. Im a little worried he might be cheating on me. Should I have him followed just to make sure he isnt cheating?
2007-01-23 16:51:04 · 21 answers · asked by etrombetta41402 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why waste your money? You know damn well your gut instincts are not lying to you, you just are resisting facts. Deny all you want, you're a woman so you know as well as I do that you're not wrong. Keep your money and use it to leave him
2007-01-23 16:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off con grads on the new little coming. Second your hormones do play a role in thinking i am a mother of two. But if you don't trust him then honestly why are you there trust is very important in a traveling relationship what i mean is he comes and goes due to his job. I have a man who works for the government so hes often gone but i trust him even when we don't speak for days sometimes weeks at a time. YOU HAVE TO HAVE TRUST he could be dealing with military problems you see how bush keep shipping people off. So try not to worry you are about to deliver soon stress can hurt you and the baby i know i lost my son that way. Stressing over a man my ex that is i didn't trust him so i was worried. After i left him i felt better and yes it was true he was a cheater among other things Go with you heart talk to him don't accuse him.As far as the drinking that could hurt him try to help him with that.
BE BLESSED
2007-01-23 17:07:21 · answer #2 · answered by supergrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to know the truth, then yes, absolutely hire a privite eye. But before you do, ask yourself these questions:
If the truth is that he is cheating, then what do I do do? Are you prepared to leave and start fresh? Is there anything that can be done to repair any possible damage that has occured? If all avenues are exhausted and there is NO stop to what is happening then leave.And by all means, seek counseling together AND alone. It is vital to your sanity. Why follow this route you ask? I once was followed by a private eye and was cuaght cheating on my wife. It was terrible BUT, we worked it out. At first we tried for the kids' sake, but now we are happy together again. I don't know about others but I can tell you from personal experience, professional couseling helps and if both partners are honest with their answers and questions, it goes a long way.
I hope that you don't have to go through the anguish and the rage that couples feel when people stray BUT remember, life does go on and your life is important. Good luck to you and I wish you happiness.
2007-01-23 17:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by wnc861 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not hire a private detective. If you are at the point where you can not trust your husband then you should first off let him know these things. If he continues the behavior that has caused the trust issues then there is no need to hire a private investigator because you no longer trust him and any information you receive from this investigator is not going to put you at ease. If there is no trust you will either continue to believe he is doing things and just has not been caught or your lack of trust will drive him to do those things. It is common for people to want confirmation to what we think is going on but sometimes its just not the best thing for the relationship especially if its one you hope to preserve.
2007-01-23 17:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by LeiMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband travels a lot to. He is not in the military but has to travel a lot. That is weird that he turns his phone off early. It might be he is going to a local bar. I trust my husband it's the woman out there who we should not trust. They can really make a guy cheat or flirt. I trust him but you never know when they can meet someone from like I said a bar or a restaurant he goes to. Maybe he started talking to her more and goes every night there. I don't mean to miss lead you or worry you but this happened to a friend of mine. Her husband did the same thing like you said turned his phone off early. You should demand him to leave it on at all times specially if you are almost going to have a baby.
My friend's husband met two prostitutes in the Philippine's and he even told her that he spent six months with both of them every night and did it with them a lot of times per night because he said they were more atractive than her. I hope it doesn't upset you but men tend to loose interest in us when we become pregnant because we can't do in bed what we do when we are not pregnant, you know positions. so look he's gone for months he must have sexual needs and you are pregnant so maybe he might be doing something. You need to confront him about it before it is too late. I hope evrything works out for you and your family.....congrads with your new baby...
2007-01-23 17:07:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If thats what u need to do to feel confident in your marriage then do it.. but be prepared for answer u may not want to hear.. or be prepared to except the fact that u have a man that loves u if he isnt cheating on u..and stop looking for trouble when their isnt anything there..
If i were u id ask him with the baby being so close to being due that u need him to leave his cell on at all times.. this isnt a hard request.. and he should want to keep the lines open..since the arrival is in a few weeks.. if he starts finding every excuse in the book not to.. then go ahead and get ur P.I. .. but like i said ur asking for borrowed trouble.. so be prepared for the worst.. if he is.. but if he's not stop looking for trouble.. marriage is hard enough with out pulling trouble out of thin air..
2007-01-23 17:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only concern to me is ... he turn off his cell phone. That's alittle selfish, because at anytime you can go into labor. You have to ask him why at the same time each day, does his cell phone goes off and what are you to do about getting a hold of him when his phone is off? Why don't you do a surprise visit, come around about 7:00 and see for yourself. It could be your hormones and then, it could be he's cheating. I say hire the PI and see what they come up with. If he's cheating, then I would take my evidence to the chain of command and let them handle him.
2007-01-27 14:59:40 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't look for trouble. give him the bnefit of the doubt unless you have some pretty definite proof he is cheating. Tell him what men like to hear....I love you, I need you, I can't live without you, etc. Be wildly aggressive, always, with sex, perfume, negligee when appropriate. Let him know in every way possible that you not only want him but want to be wanted by him. These things will fill his mind and heart with you. Forget the possibility of infidelity. What you do not know, if there is anything at all, will not hurt you. No, it won't. Prevailing social standards brainwash us how horrible it is so we look for it. Forget it unless you are not getting the kind of attention you need to feel loved.
2007-01-23 17:06:38 · answer #8 · answered by syrious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have a good talk with your husband, ask evrything you want to, make clear what your doubts are and how you are feeling, give him at least that chance to explain, deny or admit... whatever. If you start having him followed, its a vicious circle you will not be able to break. It's plainly admitting you do not trust him and you cannot talk to him. Give it a try, and I hope all this is due to hormones! Good luck.
2007-01-23 16:59:01 · answer #9 · answered by pegs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why you think he's CHEATING on you...sounds to me more like he is extremely unhappy about something AND you two do not talk things out enough. Do you want to know what he spends? ASK HIM. TELL HIM the drinking is not OK and it's time to do something about it. TELL HIM you feel left out and ignored and you would like to work on it - WITH HIM. Don't spend money on spying on him - just be up front and get it out in the open - OH YEA - DO NOT ATTEMPT A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH HIM IF HE IS DRINKING.
2007-01-23 17:08:02 · answer #10 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't hire a detectiveto make sure he is n't cheating. I would hire a detective to have proof if he is cheating. If he is in the military, the last thing he needs, is to be caught cheating on his expecting wife.
2007-01-23 16:58:26 · answer #11 · answered by Cassie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋