My husband has imposed a curfew on me and I must now be in by 10pm every evening. This friday though, my friend has invited me out to see a play with her which doesn't finish till 10.30pm and I wouldn't be home till 11pm. I know I'm not allowed to be out till then but my husband will be out with his buddies that night (and usually doesn't get back till 2 or 3am!) so he would probably never know. Do you think I should risk it??
2007-01-23 16:41:38 · 55 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HA HA HA!!! You had me going there.....!
2007-01-23 16:59:24 · answer #1 · answered by martina_ie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should TELL HIM that you'll be home not later than midnight or 12:30, because you and your friend may go out for a bite to eat after the play. And then do it.
Why is there a curfew? Aren't you a grown up lady? He can either like that, or .... well, why would you stick around and put up with that? He goes out till 2 or 3 and you have to be home by 10? Where's the fairness in that? I wouldn't do that.
In our house, I tell my husband where I'm going and with whom, and approximately what time I'll be home. That's only polite. He tells me where he's going, too.... If something happens that I'll be late, I call him and tell him, so he won't worry. I don't ask if I can go, I don't meet a curfew.
2007-01-23 18:25:34 · answer #2 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a curfew and he stays out till all hours???? How old ARE you? Have you done something that makes him not trust you? If you want to play his way about having a curfew, tell him the play lets at 10:30 and you won't be home until 11:00. Be an adult and stand up for yourself. I wouldn't put up with it, he is being controlling, and if you don't "mind" him, he could start getting physically or verbally abusive. You two need counseling!
2007-01-23 16:53:08 · answer #3 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've just read your other questions and it seems to me as if you're trying to do the best by everybody but are ending up rather a tortured soul.
Being a strong willed woman myself, my initial reply to this was going to be "do what the hell you want and tell your husband to bog off" but Ive changed my mind on that now.
If you do go out with your friend and get back late, and he finds out, what are the consequences? If it's that YOU'LL feel bad for 'betraying' him then can you live with that feeling? If you can then go, if not then don't.
If the consequences are worse than that, then it's not really worth it for the sake of an hour.
When he's out till 3am, does he usually ring to 'check' on you? If he does, don't go.
Good Luck and God Bless x
2007-01-23 20:59:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Curfew!!!!??? That is insane. Your husband can be out until 3 am but you have to be in at 10pm. My 16 year old brother doesn't even have a curfew that early. There are some serious issues in this marriage
2007-01-23 16:53:35 · answer #5 · answered by rosie girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not being funny here BUT... why the hell are you letting him set a curfew on you???? i thought we were living in the 21st century not the dark ages! is it that you're afraid of him or what he'd do to you? that wasnt a joke either it was a serious question. dont let him tell you you're on a curfew, YOU tell HIM you're going out with you're friend and wont be back till late and if he doesnt like it.... TOUGH!!! Im sorry to be so blunt but if thats the way he thinks a woman should be treated then he wouldnt be husband material for me.
2007-01-23 20:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by christine301173 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but it is not normal for a man to have curfews for their wife/partner. It sounds very controlling and the fact that you think there is a risk if he finds out makes me wonder if there are other unhealthy aspects to your relationship. Your husband is meant to be a support and loving person in your life and there shouldn't be a need for you to go behind your back.
Obviously every relationship requires compromise but this should not be dictated by one to the other.
Please check out this website to see if you recognise other behaviour. http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/domestic_violence/youhh_index1.shtml Talk to a friend about things if they do
2007-01-23 22:00:02 · answer #7 · answered by Rats 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am having trouble believing you are telling the truth. A guy that controlling would not allow you to use a computer to search the web. If you are telling the truth, I have a feeling he hits you. Whether he does or not, abuse is not just physical. It may also be mental, emotional, or sexual. Mental and emotional abuse includes:
swearing or threatening to hit you
insulting you, making fun of you, or calling you names
forcing you to do shameful or humiliating acts
threatening to hurt your children, a baby-sitter, or someone else if you don't do what they want
hurting or destroying valued property or pets
throwing away your medicine
forcing you to have sex in order to get money for groceries or clothes
trying to control what you do.
Please get some help or at least advice....
National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence
1155 Connecticut Ave., NW
Suite 400
Washington, DC 20036
Phone: 202-429-6695
Web site: http://www.nccafv.org
2007-01-23 17:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by kenslydale 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I think I get it... are you two into a "master and servant" type of relationship? It sure sounds like it to me. Especially since you're so chipper and "ok" with this. Any other wife would be going THROUGH THE ROOF if her husband told her she had to be home by 10pm, yet he can stay out til 3am!
2007-01-23 16:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant be serious. He can stay out til 2 or 3 am, and you have a curfew. Sounds like you both need some help.
2007-01-23 16:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no right to give you a curfew! Oh my ,how controlling.You tell him you are going to watch a play with your friend and will be home when it finishes if he argues with you I would consider moving on! When you marry someone its about respect and trust and your man obviously does not respect or trust you!
2007-01-25 09:38:13 · answer #11 · answered by tallie18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋