I have been talking with a good friend from HS, there was always a chemistry between us. My husband works out of town all week and comes home on weekends and hunts and fishes and hangs with the guys. Although I do not believe he would ever cheat, I have told him I need him to be a husband and that I didnt feel important because he is never here. I am a stay at home mother of 2 and this is very out of character. I have even planned to do this and cancelled like 12 times, but tonight, it just felt right, and though I love my husband, I cant stop thinking about this friend, wondering if and when I will see him again. His life is complicated and I know nothing more than sex and friendship could come of this but he makes me feel important and he gives me his time and thinks of me, all of what my husband does not. I dont know what to do
2007-01-23 15:58:21 · 38 answers · asked by notso_recoveringwino 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Think of your children. Your life if complicated too...and even moreso now because of your guilt. Your husband will divorce you if you tell him, it doesn't seem he wants to be married to you NOW, being gone all week then filling the little time left with his own interests, which do not involve you or the kids.
You know you are already on the path to divorce. What you need to do now is line up your ducks in a row. Save some money before you have no access to it. Hang in there and see if you can't go get some schooling on his paycheck, because you know for damn sure you probably won't see any spousal support if you admit your infidelity.
He broke his vow first, to have and hold and to cherish...he broke the vow first.
2007-01-23 16:06:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
People always make someone feel special, important, etc. in the beginning. If they didn't we would have never wanted to be with them. Eventually the newness wears off and it is not the same. Of course your friend is giving you the attention you feel your husband is not. However, your husband is working out of town, working to provide for his family so that you can stay home and be a mother to his children. Yes, he needs to make you feel important and loved, he also needs to make sure your emotional needs are met. Looking elsewhere other than inside your marriage is never the right answer. You said you know nothing will come out of it but sex and friendship. Is sex and friendship worth breaking up your children's family? I doubt it, if you are lonely while he is away working meet some other Mom's in your neighborhood, maybe take some college classes or something. I know how you feel, my husband went to Iraq twice, I was often lonely, but I had to get involved in my community. Tell your husband during the time he is at home that he needs to be with you and your children, allow him to see his friends occasionaly to. Please, Please for your children do not continue with this friend. It will lead to the destruction of your marriage. Fix things inside your marriage, and if then you still are not happy, divorce and THEN move on. Good Luck!
2007-01-23 16:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by kaleigh 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since you don't work, why don't you move your family to the same city where your husband works? Why don't you get a job to help support your family and you know live with your husband and share responsibilities that way? Who was watching your kids while you were off busy cheating or did you just put them to bed early and tell them "mommy needs alone time with her boyfriend don't tell daddy!"? What's even worse is that you pretend it was justified, but you instead of trying to fix your problems you planned this! You don't mention trying to talk to your husband or attempting to move to another city so you two can live together or get your own job so your husband doesn't have to work so much, nah instead you tell us that you cheated. You have problems. And no, it's not your husbands fault for having friends that he goes out with even if he does go out too. Take some personal responsibility for yourself.
Should you tell your husband? Yes, so he can leave your skanky ***. Why are you skanky? Well, you justified cheating on your husband with a need for attention. Having sex just so you can get some attention is the very definition of skanky if not slut.
2007-01-23 16:18:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
cheating is a sign of weakness in a marriage, and you've broken a sacred trust. Make an effort to bond with husband , and
spice up your sex life. Give your marriage the same effort and time to repair your marriage, the same as youv'e been giving to the affair. that would destroy. Make an appointment with a marriage councillor.
2007-01-23 16:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by nuttin'fancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sooooo asking for trouble.
All the problem in your marriage cannot and willnot be solved outside of the marriage.
You need to seek professional help, and make it clear to your husband just how serious you are, when you say your not happy.
Cheating is not a good quality, and it only causes pain and hurt for all involved in the end.
2007-01-23 16:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him. If you truly love him then it will bother you until he knows. I think cheating is a deal breaker and once you cheat things are never the same. If you truly love him you should suggest marriage counseling. You could express your feelings of not feeling important and he can express his feelings on you cheating. Good luck!
2007-01-23 16:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Weezy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sh!t or get off the Pot, Sweetie. Either you get a divorce now, on your terms and get child support and half of everything, or he finds out you're cheating and dumps you and fights you in court and it is a living nightmare for everyone. You go for hot pants with the complicated life, or you make do with what you have. If you piss around about this you will get burned.
2007-01-23 16:04:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
why cheat if you love him. so yes you tell him. that would be a start. keeping things from him makes it worse. if he finds out from someone else he will be more pissed than if you tell him. leave the friend alone of you love your husband and try to make it work with your husband
2007-01-23 18:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by young grown man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound awful but I wouldn't tell him...ONLY if you realize that what you are doing is wrong!! If you cannot stop wanting to see this other man, your husband should know. Together you two can work through it. However, there is no need to create worry in your husband by telling him of something that will never happen again.
2007-01-23 16:04:59 · answer #9 · answered by Kaylin 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
it will hurt him but you need to be honest. cheating is a horrible thing no matter what the circumstance and he has a right to know whats going on. if your husband cheated on you, would you want to know? what happens if you got pregnant or even a disease? im just saying those are possibilites. maybe you and your husband need to work some problems out and you will get through this whatever happens i wish you luck and hope it works out.
2007-01-23 16:04:21 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♫§weetTart§amantha♫♥ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋