I need some help with partner problems?

Question

I have been with my partner for just over 3 and a half year. We have a child together. There was a period of time that when he needed me the most I wasnt there if he. Then b4 long I know he was seeing this lady and doing stuff with her that should have been me. I know want he wants and needs in a relationship. He has told me that he is in love with two woman and now he is taking time-out to sort his feeling out. He has told me "when I get back I hope you will still be here". What should I do show him that I do love him and want to be with him or should I just leave? I need help or advice? I do LOVE him and I do want to stay with him.

I have talked with him a number of time on how i feel about things between us and i have told him my feelings, wants and needs. I have also told me that im want to be with him.

Answer 1

I believe everyone needs a second chance. You have said that when he needed you the most you were not there for him, this time if you love him as much as you say, then be there for him when he gets back.. Give him that second chance not only for yourself but also for your child together. When he returns If he has not made up his mind and is still not sure of which lady he wants in his life, then let him go, take your child and move on. You need to make a life for yourself and your child and cannot waste your time, and energy on someone that will not give you either and cannot decide once and for all for you and for the child you have together. You need a good man that will love only you, and not another woman. You need a good man that will honor you and respect you unconditionally, even if you should not meet all of his expectations at some point. He should never have left you for another woman because you were not there for him at one time, not if he loved you. True love is patient, and does not turn its back when an error has been made. It talks it over and is willing to start again. You say you love him and want him to stay, I pray for your sake and your child's he will realize that he loves you as much as you love him and be willing to stay with you forever.. But if he should not.. be strong ...
Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

Call him and tell him you need to talk. Since you know that you really do love him and want to stay with him let him know. While he is trying to sort out his feelings he needs to know how you feel otherwise he may choose to go with the other lady because he feels she understands what he needs and his confusion is only that he wants to be with his child. Let him know how you feel and that you really do want to work it out that way he can have a woman who not only loves him but is also the mother of his child which I am sure is what he would rather...but, he needs to know your true feelings NOW! When you talk to him, if you can sense that he really isn't as interested in working things out as you are...then move on. If he really meant it when he said "when I get back I hope you will still be here" then he will come running back when he hears that you are willing to try and work things out and that you will be there for him from now on. Good Luck and take care.

Answer 3

Your best bet might be to just allow him the time he needs to get things sorted out in his head. Obviously, the time he needed you the most, was the time that she was there for him. So he is having to deal with a relationship of over 3 years and a child, compared to a person that must have helped him through a difficult time in his life. Do not leave by any means, but do not hang around forever either.

Answer 4

Ok, sorry to say that if i were you i will never look back but i know you love him and would do anything for him. What's does he really wants out of both of your relationship? Good sex, ample love or money. You have to ask yourself. But in your case, i think it's not about the lack of love you give him. I supposed it's money or sex (correct me if i am wrong). But how could he be so fickled hearted to love so many women at the same time. If his love is genuine for you, he would not have other relationship. He is just making use of you to satisfy his desire, that's y he hopes you will still be there when he comes back. HE IS MAKING USE OF YOUR LOVE!!! I will suggest that you leave him and carry on with your new life and don't be soft hearted when he pleads you. ( I know its difficult) but you have to or you will be miserable like now all your life! If he doesn't loves you, nothing that you do will make him comes back. He will just treat you like one of the women on the street and he will come back to you as and when he likes. So if you think this guy is still worth your love, then i have nothing to advice. If you love him too much to leave, then bear with his behaviour and don;t grumble.

Answer 5

would I ask some questions? Did you position on 30 lbs that you probably did not lose? - if so, you aren't any further the female he chanced on horny. Is your MIL coming over extra? (New Grandmothers have an innate tendency to criticize each and every thing you do and could belittle you at each and every turn.) similar with adult males. i am going to guarantee you that sex that seldom isn't strong for him both. OH WAIT!!! - I merely talked concerning the very similar question from a guy who has the very similar subject matters... His take on the tale is somewhat diverse. a million) type 2)spouse hates mom/ mom hates spouse. 3) youngster surprising 4) spouse distant 5) spouse Bitchy 6) don't like going abode and sneak out contained in the mornings to dodge the SHT! 7) i'm in Panic, because I actually have a Wfe and infant to provide for continuously!! ok, perhaps no longer your guy.... perhaps so.

Answer 6

Fallback if the two women don't work out. Confusion reigns in BOTH your minds.
Take a long breath, step back from this and stop thinking of all this.
This is garbage how people claim to love each other but the focus is completely wrong.
Sorry, when this happens, all anyone thinks of is themself.
How can someone love someone when their eyes are another?

Answer 7

Well if you are still speaking during this "break" period then just let him know that you are supportive of him. Love is about support, so that will mean a lot. Don't only be supportive with words though. Let him know that if he needs to talk about anything then he could talk to you. And if he does, listen intently.

Answer 8

It sounds to me like he wants you to be his backup when she is pregnant or done with him. Don't do that. HE certainly is not worth you. You had his child yet he evidentally didn't care too much for you if he didn't marry you to KEEP YOU. Find someone who will care for you and your child. Make sure that it is a package deal.. You deserve to be a package deal and your child deserves it too. This man is not worth your time. Find a Non-denominational Church and look for a man there if you are able to do so. Have a great day.
Eds

Answer 9

And when you've told him how you feel, what's his reaction?
So you know what he wants, and you've told him what you want.
And now you sit back and wait for him to decide who he likes better? That'sa crock! Enjoy your freedom. If you're still available when he comes to a decision...AND you wish to pick up where ya left off. Well then Hooray for him. If NOT, then Hooray for YOU!

Answer 10

Your question cannot be resolved by resorting to feelings, such as his feelings of "love" and your feelings of "wanting" to stay with him.

What your partner is referring to as "love" seems to be some sort of romanticized lust. He would likely deny this, but it is evident in that he is chasing another woman around, probably having sex with her, when he should have been participating in life with you and your mutual child.

This is very irresponsible behavior. For adults, commitments and responsibilities come before fun and games. Affairs are simply tacky and indefensible. He appears to be addicted to the feelings, the frisson, that come with creating new romantic couplings. Grown-ups have to give up such things.

People cannot "feel" or emote their way into being good husbands and fathers (or wives and mothers for that matter). He is going to have to give up playing the field, and settle into having a partner (you) and a child who need his attention. His quasi-romantic statement "...I hope you will still be here" sounds to me like his attempt at keeping you as a last resort. Rather than showing him that you LOVE him, you need to show him that you both need to act like a grown-up couple, and that adults show LOVE by being dependable and responsible, and by protecting one another.

Although I cannot tell you exactly what to do, I would suggest a combination of the following: Sit him down and tell him that adults do not have affairs, and that he and you now have a family to care for. Tell him that you need him at home. Take some time to think for yourself whether your partner is capable of being so responsible as to be monogamous and committed to family life. Consider your financial needs, and be certain to hold him financially responsible for his child. [It is commonplace for men like this to make multiple children with multiple women, by the way, so be sure to get your financial settlement worked out now.]

I'm concerned that you do not have a good sense of the issues here. You are overly concerned for your partners sexual happiness over the stability of your family and circumstances. You appear willing to make compromises in order to keep him that may lead to you having to deal with his other jilted partners, being jilted yourself, and/or acquiring a sexually transmitted disease.

I opine that you should not take him back unless he agrees to be committed to your family and sexually monogamous with you. If he is not, you need to leave, and you need to be very resolved to not let him back in your life--romantic addict guys like this have a tendency to boomerang in and out of relationships with people (in other words, he may come back for awhile, then disappear again, then reappear, etc). This increases your child's insecurity, shows a bad example for relationships, and exposes you to STDs.

You might benefit from getting some counseling or attending a church where you can learn about what you should be able to expect from others with whom you are in a relationship. I hope the best for you.