i have 2 girls 14an 19 and two boys 12 and15, and two foster boys both 16. one i had for 1 year but wont stop stealing (from us and stores) and i wouldnt believe him if he said he wiped his ***.he treasures our family but cant kick these habits. he has no family that is willing to take care of him. the social worker says if we send him back he will go to lock up til he is 18 and til 21 if he acts up. this kid has improved 700% since we have had him but still has 700% to go and we are tired. he has a therapist that is useless and takes medications for mood disorders. we have become attached but im tired of always worrying about what he is doing. we dont let him go out with the kids any more but that leaves him with us.
2007-01-23 15:22:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Have you sat down and talked to him about his behavior. Punish him when he does something wrong. If he steals something, and you know who or where he stole it from, make him return the item(s), to the person he stole them from himself. Usually having to face the person he stole from will help cure the problem.
Before you fostered him, that's what he knew was to steal to get what he wanted, you have to teach him that stealing is wrong, and that he has a family now that cares for him, loves him, and can help him when he needs something, that he doesn't have to steal things that he needs, or can't have.
2007-01-23 15:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by Bill S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you sat down and told him that if he treasures being with your family so much, that in order for him to stay, he has to stop stealing? I know I am sounding stupid, cause you probally have, but I am Ed in NJ and if you like I would be willing to take a shot at talking to him online about his behavior. In reading your description, you said 2 foster boys 16...is he a twin to the other boy who is foster and 16?
My son is 23 and has been in therapy for a long time and I agree they are useless and all they want is that check payment at the end of the session. I told my wife that he does not have to go there every week, but all she can say to me is that the doctor feels its a critcal time and he has to see him...this in my opinion a load of crap...he has been seeing a therapist since he was 13...10 years of being in a critical time...load of BS.
I will be more than willing to talk to your 16 year old. He can message me at EdF253 or write me at EdF253@yahoo.com
2007-01-24 03:10:53 · answer #2 · answered by Ed F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_Alcohol_Spectrum_Disorder
What you describe sounds like 'secondary symptoms'.
The best web site I've found on the problems this causes is owned & operated by Teresa Kellerman. (I think she posted what's on Wikipedia, too.) It's: come-over.to/FASCRC/ . Go there, then scroll down to "How Alcohol Exposure Affects Behavior". You'll probably find several articles in that list that apply to your foster son. I suggest you first read "Neurobehavior in Adolescents & Adults", then "FAS and Stealing", then you can 'branch out'. I suggest doing a Lot of research on her site, including articles she's listed that happen to be on other sites.
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2007-01-23 20:42:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'd say get another therapist, since the one he has is useless. Keep everything locked up. Don't let him go into stores alone. Don't let him hang out with kids that steal. Sounds like he might get a thrill out of it. Take away the thrill, give him whatever he wants.
2007-01-23 16:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up on him!!! All he is doing is crying out for love and attention. stealing was probably one thing he use to do that always guaranteed attention, even though its negative. dont threaten him with what he knows will happen (lock up) punish him when he steals but more importantly, reward him when he does something good.
2007-01-23 16:07:03 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trade him in for a new foster child. This is one of the risks you take when fostering children. You are getting paid right?
2007-01-24 06:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by Radtech1996 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what can i tell you as a social worker i Will tell you that he needs more counseling, (family counseling) this is something that needs to go deeeeeeep! however, as a christian i will recommend the best therapist...my personal counselor, and lawyer, his name is Jesuuus!.. he really can help...however, he needs to be introduced because he is such a gentleman.. You should start taking him to bible class and he will understand that thief are going dooooownnnn
2007-01-23 17:02:03 · answer #7 · answered by Spread the word! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you will take him back to the hole you got him from or tell him that you will cal the police on him if he steals again.
2007-01-24 02:56:07 · answer #8 · answered by Kenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat the hell out of him and if that dont work lock his @ss up until hes 18
2007-01-23 15:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
just show love... talk to him.. and adopt me.. im serious.. :)
do you know anyone who wants a daughter?
2007-01-23 18:07:39 · answer #10 · answered by abby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋